InstaDream (John from WuzzaDem)

I was at Starbucks, toiling away on a post for my little blog, when I noticed someone approaching me out of the corner of my eye. "Hello" said the tall stranger. I looked up, and thought for a moment I must be dreaming.

"You're Glenn Reynolds!" I said, and promptly proceeded to trip over my own tongue. "You're the InstaBlog, I mean Instapundit guy, I mean, I write your blog every day...I mean I read your blog every day."

I wanted to crawl into a hole and die! I'd just made a complete fool of myself in front of Glenn Reynolds. How many times had I played this scene out in my head? I'd always played it so cool in those fantasies, always so nonchalant. "Oh, hi," I always imagined myself saying, "you're, uh, don't tell me - is it Glenn?" Now I was acting like a starstruck Starbucks Instagroupie.

I was sure Glenn must have thought I was a total doofus. I was certain our brief conversation was at an end, but he looked me right in the eye and said, "Aren't you John from WuzzaDem?"

I couldn't believe my ears. Glenn Reynolds knows my name? Glenn Reynolds knows about my blog? Before I could ask him how he knew who I was, he continued, "You know, I have a confession to make - I've always wanted to link to your blog, but to tell you the truth I was afraid to ask you."

I was speechless! "You were afraid to ask me?" I replied. "I've always wanted you to link to me, but I was afraid to ask you." We both laughed, breaking the tension. I asked him to sit down, and he did, sipping his non-fat, no-foam, triple latte as he leaned back in his chair. I still couldn't believe it - I was actually sitting across the table from Glenn Reynolds, The Blogfather, having a cup of 'InstaJoe.' There was so much I wanted to say, but it felt as though my lips were sealed shut. Glenn broke awkward silence. "Look," he said, "I have a confession to make. The reason I approached you is because I wanted to ask you if you would be willing to do something for me, something that would really help me out. I know it's a lot to ask, but...no, forget it..it's too much."

"No, no, go ahead," I said, "just ask, whatever it is."

"Well, I know this sounds crazy, but is there any way you would consider giving up your blog and joining me? Just hear me out. We could have a DuoBlog. I was thinking we could call it InstaWuzzaPunditDem. What do you think? You don't have to answer now, I'll understand if you need time to think it over."

It felt like the room was spinning - and then, for no apparent reason, Glenn started saying "Sir? Sir? Sir?" over and over again...

When I opened my eyes, Glenn was gone and the Starbucks guy was nudging me. "Sir, you need to wake up, we're closing now." A dream. It was all a dream. None of it was true. Of course it wasn't. Glenn Reynolds doesn't know who I am. After all, I'm just a Flappy Bird in the TTLB Ecosystem. I felt like such a fool. I grabbed the trusty laptop, picked up my signed, first-edition copy of 'Blogging for Dummies' and went home.

Glenn and I have never really had a chance to connect, what with our busy work schedules, personal commitments, e-mail blocking software and temporary restraining orders, but I look forward to meeting him someday. Then we can have that cup of coffee. I'll even let him pick up the check.

It should be noted that this post was done by John from WuzzaDem.com, if for no other reason than to spare Ace the embarrassment.

Cross-posted at WuzzaDem.com

Update: You think that's brown-nosing? How about just outright stealing the guy's format?

Update II: Bill at InDC Journal has started some kind of brown-nosing challenge in this post. Well, step back, bi-atch! I just brown-nosed you by plugging your post challenging me! Noses just don't get any browner.