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January 10, 2005
Bad Childish Geekery: A Star Wars ChristmasAtomic sends a link to a horrific Christmas album, sung chiefly by C-3PO and Chewbacca (!). Would have liked to have heard "The Christmas Song" performed by Grand Moff Tarkin. In a cosmic convergence of vileness, it turns out that fronting one of the choruses on the album was a then-unknown 18-year-old named John Bongiovi, who of course would later call himself John Bon Jovi. What the crap is this? Horrible, horrible, horrible. Unrealted Geekery: William Shatner explains his differences with Michael Moore, in song. Or, rather, "song." posted by Ace at 11:43 PM
CommentsHoly shit that's funny. Posted by: Bill from INDC on January 10, 2005 11:56 PM
Friend of mine found a video of the "Star Wars Holiday Special" on eBay a while back and told me about it. It sounded absolutely atrocious. Description at: http://www.lucasfan.com/swtv/index2.html Posted by: Alex on January 10, 2005 11:59 PM
Man, I wish Grand Moff Tarkin would do more acoustic sets. You know, really explore the studio space. http://www.ink19.com/issues_F/99_08/live/025_grand_moff_tarkin.shtml Cheers, Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on January 11, 2005 12:31 AM
Oops, html got cut off. The last bit is: /025_grand_moff_tarkin.shtml Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on January 11, 2005 12:33 AM
Bon Jovi? Try Buongovianni! I knew his deaf (Tony B - NJ wop) brother when he owned/ran NYC recording studio PowerStation in the early / mid 80's. His name was Tony and he mixed the tracks for Top Gun and was deaf as a stone. I sold him a $150K video projector for his "a" mix room...... His partner was Ed .... blah Tony told me (at the time) John was stoopid and that he made him, and bragged that the younger wop sister would be bigger a star because of him .( and eclipse the Kerry backing loooser - my judgement here) Posted by: MRB on January 11, 2005 02:33 AM
Not to be PC-- but what's this "wop" crap? What's the point of saying that? Posted by: ace on January 11, 2005 02:41 AM
"Bells Bells Bells bells Bells." Most of you probably didn't make it past the first song. But I did. And I will never be the same. Posted by: Hans Bricks on January 11, 2005 03:12 AM
come on man-nobody likes Italians. You can admit it...your among friends. Posted by: amish on January 11, 2005 03:15 AM
oh great! Hans is here.you see what happens Ace? you start stickin up for the italians and now a German showes up...i smell creeping fascism Posted by: on January 11, 2005 03:21 AM
Hey guys just a warning, there is also a made for TV star wars christmas special out there. With Maude from the golden girls playning a sultry owner of a cantina or some crap. Trust me, the tv special makes this album sound great, the addition of video makes it so, so much worse. There is also a segment that includes Chebaccass dad watching some crazy disco porn on a virtual reality orgasmotronic headset thing. I swear this was the most vile, and disgusting bit of programming ever commited to the airwaves. Ace , for the sake of readers with more delicate sensibilities, please please do not dig out a link to the tv show. Im serious, the world is not ready to revisit that horrific moment in history. Posted by: Marty on January 11, 2005 08:39 AM
It's worse than that. Not only was Bea Arthur in it, but you also get to see Harvey Korman, Art Carney, and Dihann Carroll. A couple feature songs were "Bells, Bells, Bells" and "What Do You Get A Wookie For Christmas". I believe I have a digital copy of the whole special on my computer somewhere. I'll have to look and see if I can still find it. Posted by: Jimmie on January 11, 2005 09:34 AM
Capt. Kirk still kicks ass! Now bring on the green slave girls! Posted by: Iblis on January 11, 2005 12:21 PM
*** ULTRAMEGAGEEKALERT!! *** Zarking fardwarks! A Hitchhiker's Guide movie is in the works! Sorry if you already knew. www.hitchhikersmovie.com Posted by: TallDave on January 11, 2005 01:44 PM
"Everybody gets a cookie, Posted by: barbula on January 11, 2005 02:38 PM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
Dude trolls a city council meeting about permitting yet another mosque by promising the mosque will destroy America
"All women who are overweight or obese will have to wear burka. 10,000 steps per day, low carb."
Months ago, I reported that the final Zodiac cypher had been cracked and the name of the killer revealed. And the name of the killer turned out to be someone suspected in the unsolved Black Dahlia murder. The general tone of my mention of this was "serious you guys, this is real."
Well, it's not real. It's total bullshit. Sorry about that. I did two things: 1, I bought into something, a conspiracy theory really, because it was new and exciting. And 2, I allowed a self-declared "expert" to snow me over with his "expert" claims about solving ciphers, an alleged expertise I could not challenge because I know practically nothing about codebreaking. I remember being similarly swindled by self-declared "experts" babbling about "chromatic aberrations." (Although I didn't really buy into that, but I found it "interesting" and I wasn't strongly skeptical about it. Hey they said they're "experts," they must know that they're talking about, right?) I screwed up. It won't be the last time, I'm sure.
TJM definitively ranks the films of Andrei Tarkovsky and explains the joys of discovering older movies over anticipating new ones.
Via Archimedes:
Selections from H.P. Lovecraft's Brief Tenure as a Whitman's Sampler Copywriter More at this ineffable link
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click
I haven't forgotten this one. I play it a couple of times a month. But I bet a lot of you forgot it: Athletic (boogie down) Hustle (turn back) Feel pathetic (sugar town) No muscle (soul hack) I'm jumping (you move) No dancer (beside me) I'm thumping (you prove) Don't get no answer
On "Professor" Arday:
He was their living lawn jockey, period. They won't say that 'cause they're sensitive and down with his struggle and all. He was there to appease and flatter their sense of being uplifters of the oppressed. In truth, he served as their living lawn jockey -- no more, no less, and unworthy of even a second thought on their part. Tokenism, pure and simple.-- Krebs v Carnot
Ireland's 'Air Force One' lacks a key safety system for fog -- thanks to country's ban on Israeli products
Ireland's best emigrated 150 years ago. The current Ireland is a sad joke. [CBD]
The Short Unhappy Life of a Russian Soldier: Why recruits die in 20-30 minutes
Interesting video. Some key parts: drones were responsible for 70-80% of all battlefield deaths in mid-2025, and I bet it's higher now. The Russian army is incredibly corrupt. Men get assigned to the most dangerous frontline units, the "Storm" units, unless they pay a superior $2,000 to be assigned to a different unit. Furthermore, there is often no real training for recruits -- commanders pocket the money that would have gone towards fuel and ammo costs incurred during training. Much "training" consists just of taking a single picture of soldiers doing something soldier-y, like fording a river, and publishing that as proof that the training was done. Even when it is done, training is only two weeks long. Recent Comments
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Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
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