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January 02, 2005

All-Time Best of Ace, #1: The Only Important One on That Stage, Mr. Paul Anka

There's no one big Paul Anka post, of course. Pretty much it's just been a long-running gag, tossed into maybe a hundred or more posts, since I first discovered (and did my part to publicize) this utterly hilarious six-minute candid recording of Paul Anka absolutely reaming out his band.

Some people say they don't understand the references made here. 90% of them come from this tape-- from Vinny Falcone to "loose shit" to "we're not going to be as strong as our weakest link" to the Zen question with no answer, "Where's Joe?"

One of the funniest parts of the Paul Anka Integrity Kick had nothing to do with me; it came from AllahPundit, who dug into his record collection to discover some very funny old Paul Anka singles and albums.

The Integrity SAT's -- the entrance exam for getting into Mr. Paul Anka's band-- still makes me laugh when I read it.

And of course for one weekend this site became "AnkaPundit," as The Only Important One on That Stage, Mr. Paul Anka, took over for a weekend to evaluate some hysterical Paul Anka-themed haikus submitted by readers and also to opine on such topics as gay marriage.

AnkaPundit starts here and continues here.

Hands down, this must have been the funnest period of the blog's run. Man, when everyone was dropping Vinny Falcone references and demanding that others exhibit "substance" and "conscious" [sic], it really was just a laugh to read the comments every day.

I always though that one day I'd get sick of the Paul Anka stuff, and on the very next day, it would be publicized big throughout the blogosphere/Internet as a whole, becoming even bigger than the Tourist Guy or All Your Base Are Belong to Us. I was wrong on both counts-- it never really took off like that, but then, I never really got bored of it, either.

Well, that took me a lot longer than I thought it would, but there you go: that's the #1 All Time on the Best of Ace countdown. Who else could it have been?

Where's Joe?

Update: Allah's hilarious Paul Anka record collection is now being hosted on this site, with his kind permission. The link now points to the AoS post containing the records.

posted by Ace at 11:23 PM

Comments

Ace, as a very wise yet mysterious man known to us only as Mr. Trahn is fond of saying:

"The secret to success is always remembering two things: 1) the guys get shirts and 2) the shirts should be made in countries with loose child labor laws."

Personally, I think that's one of the reasons your blog does so well. You never forget the Trahn golden rules.

Posted by: senator philabuster on January 3, 2005 12:40 AM

Ace,

I first found your site when someone (I forget who) linked to the Paul Anka posts.

It was then, and remains to this day, the most fun at had at any blog, anywhere, at any time.

That's just the fucking way it is!

Posted by: MeTooThen on January 3, 2005 12:57 AM

I've gotta say, this whole count down has been quite possibly... no... without doubt it has definitely been the single most egregious display of public masturbation I've ever seen in the blogosphere. And I think that it is absolutely awesome that you've done it. After all, blogging essentially is just an elaborate form of public masturbation--might as well be honest about it.

That, and your shit is funny as hell.

Random thought: now that Allah is off the air (well, apart from the blogspot site), your one Paul Anka cover is the last surviving specimen of Allah's album covers.

Keep it up man.

Posted by: Beck on January 3, 2005 03:17 AM

I first stumbled upon Ace Of Spades during the tail end of the Complete Paul Anka Intergrity Kick and missed out on the haiku contest but have been a loyal Ace reader ever since. The CPAIK is some of the best stuff I have ever read online. I know a lot of people thought the Whorette stuff should have been #1 and, true, that does deal a little more with politics in the sense that the broads it is aimed at are loosely connected to something political.
What makes the CPAIK #1 in my book is the fact that so many tag lines come from it: "loose shit" "Vinny Falcone" or my personal favorite, "Don't make a fucking maniac out of me".
Its amazing how a man who could stop the killer advertisments on "The Simpsons" with his soft crooning could be such a vile and relentless bastard when his band is wearing T-Shirts or the band head can't get the "God damn cut-offs" straight..."put me some fucking knowledge", "Do all of your checks cash without a problem?"...it can go on forver and never get old.

Posted by: Jersey Matt on January 3, 2005 10:09 AM

Beck is right; Allah's site is toast. Anyone keep an archive?

Posted by: someone on January 3, 2005 10:20 AM

I have all the Paul Anka covers saved on my hard drive. If Ace wants to host them, I'd be happy to e-mail them to him.

Posted by: Allah on January 3, 2005 04:07 PM

Jersey Matt is right. The Integrity Kick supplied soooo many good lines. Had to be #1.

"I slice like a f*cking hammer!"

Posted by: RapidTransit on January 3, 2005 04:28 PM

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Posted by: tournament on November 6, 2005 05:42 AM


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Pretty much it's just been a long-running gag, tossed into maybe a hundred or more posts, since I first discovered (and did my part to publicize) this utterly hilarious six-minute candid recording of Paul Anka absolutely reaming out his band. Some people say they don't understand the references made here. 90% of them come from this tape-- from Vinny Falcone to "loose shit" to "we're not going to be as strong as our weakest link" to the Zen question with no answer, "Where's Joe?" One of the funniest parts of the Paul Anka Integrity Kick had nothing to do with me; it came from AllahPundit, who dug into his record collection to discover some very funny old Paul Anka singles and albums. The Integrity SAT's -- the entrance exam for getting into Mr. Paul Anka's band-- still makes me laugh when I read it. And of course for one weekend this site became "AnkaPundit," as The Only Important One on That Stage, Mr. Paul Anka, took over for a weekend to evaluate some hysterical Paul Anka-themed haikus submitted by readers and also to opine on such topics as gay marriage. AnkaPundit starts here and continues here. Hands down, this must have been the funnest period of the blog's run. Man, when everyone was dropping Vinny Falcone references and demanding that others exhibit "substance" and "conscious" [sic], it really was just a laugh to read the comments every day. I always though that one day I'd get sick of the Paul Anka stuff, and on the very next day, it would be publicized big throughout the blogosphere/Internet as a whole, becoming even bigger than the Tourist Guy or All Your Base Are Belong to Us. I was wrong on both counts-- it never really took off like that, but then, I never really got bored of it, either. Well, that took me a lot longer than I thought it would, but there you go: that's the #1 All Time on the Best of Ace countdown. Who else could it have been? Where's Joe? Update: Allah's hilarious Paul Anka record collection is now being hosted on this site, with his kind permission. The link now points to the AoS post containing the records. posted by Ace at 11:23 PM Comments Ace, as a very wise yet mysterious man known to us only as Mr. Trahn is fond of saying: "The secret to success is always remembering two things: 1) the guys get shirts and 2) the shirts should be made in countries with loose child labor laws." Personally, I think that's one of the reasons your blog does so well. You never forget the Trahn golden rules. Posted by: senator philabuster on January 3, 2005 12:40 AM Ace, I first found your site when someone (I forget who) linked to the Paul Anka posts. It was then, and remains to this day, the most fun at had at any blog, anywhere, at any time. That's just the fucking way it is! Posted by: MeTooThen on January 3, 2005 12:57 AM I've gotta say, this whole count down has been quite possibly... no... without doubt it has definitely been the single most egregious display of public masturbation I've ever seen in the blogosphere. And I think that it is absolutely awesome that you've done it. After all, blogging essentially is just an elaborate form of public masturbation--might as well be honest about it. That, and your shit is funny as hell. Random thought: now that Allah is off the air (well, apart from the blogspot site), your one Paul Anka cover is the last surviving specimen of Allah's album covers. Keep it up man. Posted by: Beck on January 3, 2005 03:17 AM I first stumbled upon Ace Of Spades during the tail end of the Complete Paul Anka Intergrity Kick and missed out on the haiku contest but have been a loyal Ace reader ever since. The CPAIK is some of the best stuff I have ever read online. I know a lot of people thought the Whorette stuff should have been #1 and, true, that does deal a little more with politics in the sense that the broads it is aimed at are loosely connected to something political. What makes the CPAIK #1 in my book is the fact that so many tag lines come from it: "loose shit" "Vinny Falcone" or my personal favorite, "Don't make a fucking maniac out of me". Its amazing how a man who could stop the killer advertisments on "The Simpsons" with his soft crooning could be such a vile and relentless bastard when his band is wearing T-Shirts or the band head can't get the "God damn cut-offs" straight..."put me some fucking knowledge", "Do all of your checks cash without a problem?"...it can go on forver and never get old. Posted by: Jersey Matt on January 3, 2005 10:09 AM Beck is right; Allah's site is toast. Anyone keep an archive? Posted by: someone on January 3, 2005 10:20 AM I have all the Paul Anka covers saved on my hard drive. If Ace wants to host them, I'd be happy to e-mail them to him. Posted by: Allah on January 3, 2005 04:07 PM Jersey Matt is right. The Integrity Kick supplied soooo many good lines. Had to be #1. "I slice like a f*cking hammer!" Posted by: RapidTransit on January 3, 2005 04:28 PM categorical pourers,ashore peruses Abramson Denny?enumerate castle bet bet http://www.vjuror.com/backgammon-tables.html http://www.vjuror.com/backgammon-tables.html spiced!agate Patsies dunk:dragoons: casino casino http://www.vjuror.com/backgammon-instructions,-printer-friendly.html http://www.vjuror.com/backgammon-instructions,-printer-friendly.html De Piedmont game game http://www.vjuror.com/backgammon-layout.html http://www.vjuror.com/backgammon-layout.html encouragingly adumbrating: Posted by: tournament on November 6, 2005 05:42 AM Post a comment Name: Email Address: URL: Comments: Remember info?	Now Available! 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