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October 12, 2004 
A Slight Change in FormatWell, all that crazy Rathergate traffic is going away. That being the case, I've decided to change this site into the site I always imagined it could be-- and would be. The political stuff is interesting enough, I guess, if you're into that sort of thing. And all the little sarcastic remarks I do after news stories-- eh, occasionally amusing, but it's not where my heart is. And where is my heart, you wonder? Well, my heart is precisely where I left it, back in 1984-- back with a pair of hip, hot pastel-wearing detectives named Sonny Crocket and Rico Tubbs. Yes, I'm talking about Miami Vice, and if you've had the almost-erotic pleasure of watching this MTV-noir gem, you know I'm not exaggerating one iota when I proclaim the series to be the most perfect piece of drama captured on film in all of recorded human history. It's not so much a detective series as a life's thesis, a sublime philosphical inquiry into the nature of man, of celebrity, and of absolutely rocking the house down with great songs by the AWESOME Phil Collins and even AWESOMER dude from The Eagles. It's the politics of contraband,  For the rest of this blog's existence*, I will endeavor to be primarily a repository of all things Vice, including of course the spectacular Don Johnson rock album Heartbeat. And, yeah, here and there I'll post about politics. I hope you share my passion for Miami Vice, and I hope that, even if you don't, you'll take this cinematic, cybernetic journey with me just the same. And I hope you'll swing with me to this rockin' Jan Hammer instrumental. * Or at least I'll continue with this schtick until I become bored with the premise, which, quite frankly, I already half am. Look, I barely remember this stupid fucking show. I sort of liked it when I saw it, but, for crying out loud, I was a kid. I didn't know any better. I thought fucking Vans were just too fucking cool. And I only think I watched like three episodes, before Edward James Olmos showed up with the fucking ninja sword, fucking everything up with his somber inertia. This is one of those ideas that sounds really fucking funny to you when you've had one or eight Miller Lights. You know, like that whole "Smitty" fiasco. We'll see how it works out in the light of day. posted by Ace at 03:00 AM 
CommentsBut that was actually a pretty good show. From what I remember. And Michael Mann's going to make a movie version. http://www.themovieblog.com/archives/2004/10/miami_vice_the_movie.html Posted by: Moonbat_One on October 12, 2004 03:47 AM 
Damnit, the premise is already going wrong. I originally did it so that the big new interest of this site would be Eddie and the Cruisers, but I figured most people wouldn't know what the hell I was talking about. Posted by: ace on October 12, 2004 03:49 AM 
First D & D, then Terry Brooks references, now this...and you're not even serious. You're just mocking me. Posted by: See Dubya on October 12, 2004 03:55 AM 
Eddie and the Cruisers?! You must be the only other person that remembers that movie. "On The Dark Side" Oh. Yeah. Posted by: Jack Grey on October 12, 2004 06:44 AM 
I remember Miami Vice solely for promoting the "five o'clock shadow = sexy" theme. It seemed like a terribly important new social construct, at the time. Posted by: m on October 12, 2004 07:39 AM 
C'mon, they actually played JETHRO TULL on one of their episodes. That alone secures M.V. a place in the Pantheon. Posted by: Eric Blair on October 12, 2004 08:00 AM 
They had one with G. Gordon Liddy playing the bad guy - that was awesome. Posted by: blaster on October 12, 2004 08:28 AM 
Fine. Be that way. I only came here for the free cocktail weenies and inappropriate anal sex jokes. Well you can say goodbye to that. P.S. If Don Johnson was a chick, I'd probably do him/her. I would, contrary to my prior statements regarding 80's schtick culture, be on top. Thank you for the format change. I was getting pretty tired of All Anka, All The Time. Posted by: sentinel on October 12, 2004 08:33 AM 
5 Stars baby! And the DVD doesn't even exist yet. http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B00005JLEY/qid=1097585150/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/102-0094966-6188954?v=glance&s=dvd Posted by: Ripper on October 12, 2004 08:47 AM 
You mention the Phil Collins songs but fail to mention that the Great Phil Collins has a recurring role on the show as an unscrupulous, nay dirty, TV game show host! And how can you mention Don Johnson's album and leave out Philip Michael Thomas' "Livin' the Book of My Life"? Heartbeat? Pah! Posted by: Jimmie on October 12, 2004 08:49 AM 
Streets of Fire would have been fabulous as well. I mean that was just the quintessential 80s film and also starred Michael Pare and the butch version of Amy Madigan. Fabuloussss Posted by: Jennifer on October 12, 2004 08:57 AM 
Jennifer- You forgot the totally hot Diane Lane! Ace- You got to right to your audience. As one of the creators of MS3K said, when asked if people would get a joke, "The right people will". Eddie, Eddie, Eddie!! Posted by: JFH on October 12, 2004 09:25 AM 
Err... I meant "You gotta WRITE to your audience... Need more coffee Posted by: JFH on October 12, 2004 09:26 AM 
Ace, Michael Mann also did Manhunter (the real Hannibal Lecter movie, that other stuff is for poofters), which starred William Petersen, who also did To Live and Die in L.A. (soundtrack by Wang fricking Chung!), where he killed Willem Dafoe, then he stars in CSI, which rules the TV now. And he's got a Bacon number of 2, and if anybody is 80's, Bacon is. Any show that has the balls to blow up a Ferrari Daytona Spyder (replica) with a Stinger missile has, well, balls. Posted by: blaster on October 12, 2004 09:32 AM 
Ferrari Spyder -- Posted by: George on October 12, 2004 10:05 AM 
I'm pretty sure that "The Smitty Fiasco" was an episode of MV. Anyway, the one episode I clearly remember was the one where Bruce Willis starred. He was some sort of crime boss (natch) who liked to beat up his wife (girlfriend?). Crockett sets him up to get all locked up, then at the end he's about to go free, sneering to Crockett and the wife, "I got the juice, baby." Wife then shoots him, freeing him up to become John McClane. Posted by: mikeski on October 12, 2004 10:22 AM 
Streets of Fire would have been fabulous as well. I mentioned that as a "Semi-Eddie" movie. The trouble with making fun of Streets of Fire for me, though, is that I really, really like it. You can't do an ironic flip tribute about a movie that you actually think is really underrated. It's the only movie I know featuring a mano-a-mano with sledgehammers. How cool is that? Posted by: ace on October 12, 2004 12:16 PM 
You got to right to your audience. As one of the creators of MS3K said, when asked if people would get a joke, "The right people will". Eddie, Eddie, Eddie!! Damnit, I probably should have. I had that quote on the sidebar about having Eddie and the Cruisers "for that nasty stuff." The road not taken, alas. ... Michael Mann also did Manhunter..., which starred William Petersen, who also did To Live and Die in L.A. (soundtrack by Wang fricking Chung!), where he killed Willem Dafoe, then he stars in CSI, which rules the TV now. His Kevin Bacon number is 2. I knew all of the foregoing, except how MM has a KB number of 2. Can you explain that? BTW, Willem Dafoe got killed (well, knocked out) by "Tom Cody" at the end of Streets of Fire, which is actually an "Eddie" movie in the sense that Viva Las Vegas is an Elvis movie. Posted by: ace on October 12, 2004 12:20 PM 
My goodness. I thought I was the only human being in the world who saw Streets of Fire and liked it. I had it on tape. It is some f'd up movie, but in a good way. Posted by: lauraw on October 12, 2004 12:31 PM 
Geez, Ace.....Not only did you second guess your own instincts, but you didnt go as obscure as you could have! After all, EDDIE LIVES!!!!!!!! Can't I get a little shout-out for the glory of the "resurrection" in Eddie and the Cruisers II? I mean, they even filmed the concert stuff prior to a BON JOVI concert, if I remember it right. Posted by: senator philabuster on October 12, 2004 12:37 PM 
Hee hee. Look at Crockett's blousy suit. You half expect that he's barefoot. Posted by: lauraw on October 12, 2004 12:40 PM 
Ace: Ever hear of the John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band... they did the soundtrack to Eddie & the Cruisers... I had them play in the bar I ran in Oklahoma City a couple of times... they really kicked ass - put on a great show!!! After Manhunter and To Liv and Die in LA, I thought William Petersen would become a huge movie star... I was glad to see him do well in CSI. Same with Michael Pare after Streets of Fire... he did that crummy Houston Cop series many years ago, but haven't seen him in anything in a long time. Now, excuse me while I go have some more flashbacks... Posted by: Madfish Willie on October 12, 2004 01:16 PM 
You guys, you guys. Do you really think I did an Eddie and the Cruisers riff and forgot to mention that EDDIE LIVES?!! I tried to put that into my banner. And of course I mentioned the Beaver Brown Band, though I forgot the John Cafferty part of it. Darnit, it looks like everyone was more in sync with the Eddie and the Cruisers theme than I expected. I really thought that so much of this site is inside-jokes that it was a bridge too far to start bringing up a movie that only people of a certain age -- kids in 1983 -- ever f'n' heard of. Posted by: ace on October 12, 2004 01:19 PM 
lauraw: I liked the part in Streets of Fire where Tom Cody slaps the shit out of the punk in the diner, takes that knife away from him, gives it back, and replays the while thing again... talk about a bitch-slappin'... LMAO... then he proceeds to kick the crap out of the whole gang, throwing them through the plate glass windows... The fight scene with Willem Dafoe was a classic too! Posted by: Madfish Willie on October 12, 2004 01:20 PM 
Awesome scene, Madfish. That really sets the tone. I love that slapping thing, because, 1, you never see a man slap another man in a fight, and 2, it's so contemptuous. It's like he's saying, "I could punch you, but that would be too easy, so I am going to slap the crap out of you like you're a misbehaving teenager." Then, of course, he steals his ride. Posted by: ace on October 12, 2004 01:31 PM 
Speaking of "what ever happened to" and Streets of Fire, what ever happened to Deborah Van Valkenburg (sp?)? She played Pere's sister, owner of the diner. Before this, she was the girl in The Warriors (which was also a kick ass movie, but hasn't weathered well, I remember the fights scenes being cooler; 'course technically it's a 70s movie, but just barely) Posted by: JFH on October 12, 2004 02:30 PM 
Words and Music, Words and Music Posted by: JFH on October 12, 2004 02:31 PM 
Smitty? I'm still wondering what happened to Johnny Coldcuts. Posted by: Alex on October 12, 2004 02:31 PM 
Ace - When in doubt, consult the Oracle of Bacon. William L. Petersen was in Fear (1996) with Andrew Airlie Andrew Airlie was in Trapped (2002) with Kevin Bacon No, I don't know who the hell Andrew Airlie is, either. Posted by: blaster on October 12, 2004 02:39 PM 
Speaking of "what ever happened to" and Streets of Fire, what ever happened to Deborah Van Valkenburg (sp?)? Hmmm... maybe your tastes are different than mine, but I've never wondered that. She was, however, in Too Close for Comfort as the daughter who was not hot for some number of years. Blaster, Thanks, although I actually thought he was talking about Michael Mann being two removed from KB. Which I think would be trickier-- and I only count on-screen appearances. 
 Posted by: ace on October 12, 2004 02:43 PM 
Just a few words about Streets of Fire since I started this timewarp. I wanted to *be* Ellen Aim down to that backless sparkly dress she wears at the end with the oh so fabulous Stoney Jackson quartet backing her up singing: I've got a dream when the darkness is over  It's all we really got tonight  Yes, yes...I was a child of the eighties and we all wanted to be Ellen Aim even if it meant kissing Rick Moranis :) You can stop laughing at me anytime now... Posted by: Jennifer on October 12, 2004 03:15 PM 
Jennifer, Posted by: JFH on October 12, 2004 04:46 PM 
Posted by: Terry Notus on October 12, 2004 09:35 PM 
Ace: I forgot all about the car stealing... that really adds insult to injury... getting bitch-slapped (more than once), taking a Texas-style ass-whooping, and then he steals your bad-ass hotrod to top it off... got to go down in history as one of the all-time "bad days" Posted by: Madfish Willie on October 13, 2004 12:42 PM 
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