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October 02, 2004

"If you think rape should be legal, then don't vote."

Cameron Diaz, on Oprah Winfrey.

It got me to thinking about two things.

First, are there other one-liners that may be helpful in the upcoming election to discourage turnout (I mean, other than the boring "INS! INS!")?

"If you think John Ashcroft has been peeking at your library records and knows that you still haven't returned 'Pudd'nhead Wilson' (which is now 11680 days late), then don't vote."

"If you think Jed Bartlett would be a good president, then don't vote."

"If you think that AIDS and divorce are hallmarks of your own generation, on par with those of the Greatest generation, then don't vote."

"If you think you could talk to Rosie Perez for an hour without hitting her in the mouth, then don't vote."

The second thing that came to mind was Cameron Diaz herself. How did she happen? Currently, she's fighting release of some nude and/or S/M photos from her early days. God, I hope she's successful, because from what she's revealed, I'm not too keen to see more of that banana peeled.

She's got chopped up, pockmarked skin.

She dates Justin Timberlake.

Her head is . . . well

Good luck in the legal fight, Cameron, and remember:

"If you think your head could be tossed in a nice, tight spiral, then don't vote."

posted by Ace at 10:21 AM

Comments

If you think Mama T is gonna make the dopest First Ho in history, don't vote.

If you think The Matrix is real, don't vote.

If you think Tupac is still alive, don't vote.

If enjoy Rap and Beat Box versions of the National Anthem, don't vote.

If you think a Kirk-Piccard presidential ticket is the best hope for the future of USA, don't vote.

Oh hell, this is fun! I might have to continue this on my site with all deference to your greatness of course.

Posted by: Jennifer on October 2, 2004 10:39 AM

Ace,

Admittedly I am "old-fashioned", not "hip", not "with it".

I don't know who Cameron Diaz is.

But I too, read her quote as it appeared on Drudge earlier this week.

Here's the thing, what the hell is the quote supposed to mean?

Was it said in some kind of "lingo" or something that I am not privy to?

I.am.not.kidding.

What the hell is she trying to say?

Posted by: MeTooThen on October 2, 2004 11:33 AM

It is the lingo-o-the-left aka koolaidese. They are not suppose to make sense it is about putting together highly inflamatory speech to evoke an emotion, not a thought. They do not want you thinking! Thinking is bad.

Posted by: Jennifer on October 2, 2004 11:41 AM

Btw I cannot spell today, out of coffee. inflammatory to be correct, i think.

Posted by: Jennifer on October 2, 2004 11:42 AM

It's really quite simple:

1) Conservatives are opposed to abortion.

2) Abortion is the way to get rid of the terrifying after-effects of rape.

3) Therefore, Conservatives are enemies of rape victims.

4) If you want to vote for one of these people, Cameron Diaz would really prefer that you not vote.

The "making rape legal" bit is just hyperbole.

Posted by: Smack on October 2, 2004 12:15 PM

then. then. then. then. then.

Posted by: on October 2, 2004 01:19 PM

I love that logic. It is like saying, "A vote for Kerry is a vote to legalize Infanticide"

1. Liberals feel the only issue in the world is Abortion

2. Abortion is a way to get rid of the terrifying after-effects of irresponsible sex. Even up to the last days of gestation.

3. Therefore, Liberals are proponents of Infanticide.

Mind you both statements are totally absurd because you have to assume all Conservatives are Anti Choice and all Democrats are pro abortion. That is just not true. Not to mention the fact people do not vote this issue, not grown ups anyway. This is definately geared toward "young" women and men. Those who are still living deeply in their "Its all about me" stage.

Posted by: Jennifer on October 2, 2004 01:19 PM

Is it just me, or does she look like The Joker in that pic? Cheek implants, oddly extended mouth corners...

Posted by: Joe R. the Unabrewer on October 2, 2004 03:22 PM

Jennifer,

Thanks.

And no, I never would have figured that out.

Oh, and BTW.

I have no idea who Justin Timberlake is either?

Justin Timberlake? Is that really anybody's name?

Is he a Mountee?

A lumberjack?

He's Canadian though, right?

Posted by: MeTooThen on October 2, 2004 04:14 PM

Q: What color is the sky in the world that Miss Diaz inhabits>

A: From her point of view, it's brown. From her point of view, everything is brown, if you know what I mean,,,

Posted by: zetetic on October 2, 2004 04:52 PM

Drat! Preview is my friend.

Posted by: zetetic on October 2, 2004 04:53 PM

http://www.89.com/c/?c=Cameron+Diaz

These are not the S&M ones I have a feeling, but unless she has a c$%k or a Pu##y in her mouth in those, are they any worse or better than these?

Posted by: stuttgartcad on October 2, 2004 05:37 PM

Are you serious about Cameron Diaz not being that hot? What hope is there for the rest of us if she's not all that?

Posted by: Karol on October 2, 2004 08:32 PM

BTW, I've seen pics of Cameron Diaz having sex in water so it does get worse than the 89.com pics above.

Posted by: Karol on October 2, 2004 08:34 PM

From a brief still print I saw that was taken from the content that Diaz wants suppressed, she is revealed in her pre-celebrity physical appearance: natural not blond, strange(r) facial features...so that's likely why she doesn't want the information available, that and what she's supposedly DOING otherwise (which I haven't seen, don't want to, either).

Posted by: -S- on October 2, 2004 10:02 PM

ALSO, about the nonsensical "rape" thing...

No one asks Kerry why he's running for President based upon (among ~other things~), to "protect a woman's right to chose" (to obtain and engage in acts of abortion), when he SAYs, as does his wife, that he's "a Catholic," AND that this stance of Kerry's -- to support, protect, endorse, anything lending agreement to -- about abortion defies him being "a Catholic."

He may be sitting in a pew, but he's no Catholic. It's not enough to just object about something of such grave sin as abortion within one's own life, but to then say that you'll "protect" the alleged "right" to abortion...it's offensive of huge proportions to the faith, what Kerry's stance on this issue is.

So, Diaz also wants people to believe, as does Kerry, that abortion -- murdering a defenseless human being and with complete forethought at that -- is secondary to a woman's "right" to "chose." Um, no. Even in situations of pregnancy resulting from rape, as hideous as that is, because the child resulting is without guilt. Not like the unborn committed the rape, but try telling that to Diaz and peers who think it's alright to murder as long as you vote as a Democrat.

Posted by: -S- on October 2, 2004 10:08 PM

Remember when Oliver Willis got laughed at for saying Michelle Malkin doesn't look good enough? Same deal, Ace. Criticise Cameron Diaz's lamentable wits, not her babe-itude, or dread the mirror.

Posted by: David Blue on October 3, 2004 03:03 AM

I thought this was a guest blogger, not Ace, blogging.

Posted by: Karol on October 3, 2004 03:55 AM

David Blue,

False analogy. Cameron Diaz is known only for her looks, while people could read Michelle Malkin's work for years and never see her or even care what she looks like (I saw a picture of her three years after reading her work on a regular basis).

One is an actress whose life depends on her face. One is an author and political commentator whose life depends on her thoughts.

Really. Simple. To. Understand.

Posted by: addison on October 3, 2004 06:29 AM

Doesn't Diaz look more than just a little stoned in that photo?

Posted by: Remy Logan on October 3, 2004 07:01 AM

Karol and David Blue: What's wrong with saying Cameron Diaz is ugly?

She used to be beautiful. Remember her in the Jim Carrey movie The Mask? Gorgeous. She looked like a human, and more importantly like a girl.

Many diets and surgeries later, she looks like one of the aliens at the end of AI, or in other words like another skeletal, drug-addicted Hollywood actress. Between heroin chic, eating disorders, and gay fashion moguls pushing androgeny as beauty, female celebrities are a pretty scary looking bunch.

So, saying that Cameron Diaz is ugly does not mean you think regular women are even uglier. On the contrary I think Diaz is ugly and I think regular woman are pretty.

Posted by: House of Payne on October 3, 2004 02:39 PM

House, there's nothing wrong with saying that Cameron Diaz is ugly, I just disagree.

Posted by: Karol on October 3, 2004 06:27 PM

Actually, if you want rape to be legal....Vote Islamist. Or whichever party comes closest to their goals.

Posted by: Crash on October 3, 2004 08:07 PM

Karol: "I thought this was a guest blogger, not Ace, blogging."

Fact-checkers everywhere, it's a jihad, boo hoo!

(You got me, I dashed off a careless reply and addressed it wrongly.)

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This is super-obscure and I only barely remember it. Given that, I'll give you the hint that it's by the Red Rocker.
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Good rickroll

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