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| Dan Rather: Crazy Like a Fox? »
September 15, 2004
Top Ten CBS Statements Planned for Today10. "In order to correct perceived problems in how we handled this story as a news company, we are proud to announce we are bringing in a whole new team of highly-professional managers who've shown much greater skill in running an organization -- the Kerry campaign staff." 9. "The authenticity of the documents has now been conclusively proven by David Caruso of CSI: Miami." 8. "CBS is proud to announce that Wednesday's 60 Minutes II was actually the first episode of its new show, Punk'd! with Ashton Kutcher and Dan Rather." 7. "To demonstrate that CBS has no political bias whatsoever, we will immediately begin expressing our admiration for our 40th President by running our documentary The Reagans twice a week every week until the November election." 6. "In order to positively establish the authenticity of the memos, CBS will air a special one-hour episode of Crossing Over With John Edward; the famous mentalist will attempt to contact the ghost of Jerry Killian by asking a studio audience, 'I'm getting a W. Does anyone know a W? Is there a W somehow connected to all this?'" 5. "CBS News is announcing a new slogan: If your ratings are in the tank anyway, they might as well be in the tank for John Kerry; we've got John Tesh working on a jaunty jingle." 4. "Six Words: Dan Rather's Hawaiian Shirt Gonzo Fridays." 3. "In order to better serve our audience, we will soon be posting a second draft of the documents in question; we promise this corrected and clarified draft won't be proportionally spaced or have those superscript doohickeys everyone seems so bothered about." 2. "We're having so much damn fun with this crap, we've decided to libel General William Westmoreland again. Don't say you heard this from us, but just between you and me-- Westmoreland? Homo." ...and the Number One CBS Statement Planned for Today... 1. "You know that news-channel Al Gore was trying to create? Well guess what, Chief-- you're looking at it." posted by Ace at 02:31 PM
Comments
Not Edwards. :) Posted by: on September 15, 2004 02:35 PM
Thanks. I didn't know that. Posted by: ace on September 15, 2004 02:39 PM
Gawwwd I'm in stitches ACE! It would take Leterman's team weeks to come up with stuff this funny.. Took you half a day prolly. genius boy you are. Posted by: Arvin on September 15, 2004 02:42 PM
Actually, I don't think Rather's ratings are down, but have been up sharply this last week. But that is only because millions have tuned into Danny's show who ordinarily never watch him - because they are fascinated with potentially seeing the spectacle of Dan Rather finally cracking -going to pieces, gnawing on his arms till blood flows, live - on TV. I confess. I'm one of them. I cancelled a dinner reservation Tuesday so we could see if Tuesday was the day of Rather's melt down. Posted by: cedarford on September 15, 2004 02:43 PM
Letterman didn't shy away from NBC controversy about memos when he was over there (specifically, private ones being made public). What's he waiting for now that he's at CBS? Posted by: on September 15, 2004 02:44 PM
#8 reminds me of something I had been thinking - could they possibily be unveiling a new reality Candid Camera show? But I still haven't seen Allen Funt. Posted by: Phil on September 15, 2004 02:53 PM
That's because Funt is playing a trick on Killian - trying to convince him he's still alive. Posted by: The Black Republican on September 15, 2004 03:20 PM
Hey, I predicted several days ago they'd hold a seance to contact Killian in the beyond only to find the ghost was an imposter with only a vague knowledge of Killian's life. Posted by: Eric Pobirs on September 15, 2004 03:24 PM
i had actually read it as "crossing over with john edwards" even though it's been corrected; i've been predicting they're going to get sen. edwards to do his "i'm channelling a dead baby" routine with killian. Posted by: francisthegreat on September 15, 2004 03:48 PM
This is not the first of the many forgeries and lies from dan rather. As a vietnam vet. I remember the documentary on vietnam with the 6 alleged vets who came forward .....all of who when their milltary records were searched (via freedom of information act) were no where near any combat let alone atrocities that were allegeded Posted by: Emel Pruismann on September 15, 2004 04:13 PM
I suspect Letterman will rip Rather eventually. You have to remember that this story began to break Thursday.. He tapes his Thursday and Friday shows on Thursday evening and this week is in reruns, so next monday would really be his first chance. Posted by: Steve L. on September 15, 2004 04:15 PM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
Ryan Long goes to the No Kings rally to pick up young liberal hotties and is greatly disappointed in the quality of the mish
thanks to stevey You know we "joke" about the GOPe just "conserving" leftist things? I couldn't hate this queen of the cuck-chair more if it paid seven figures and came with a corner office.
In more marketing for Project Hail Mary, scientists say they've found the biosigns indicating life growing on an alien planet. It's not proof, just signatures of chemicals that are produced by biological metabolism, and it could be nothing, but scientists think it's a strong sign that this planet is inhabited by something.
In a paper published in the Astrophysical Journal Letters, a team of scientists announced the detection of dimethyl sulfide (along with a similar detection of dimethyl disulfide) in the atmosphere of an exoplanet called K2-18b. This is actually the second detection of dimethyl sulfide made on this planet, following a tentative detection in 2023. He means they tried to prove the signal was caused by things other than dimethyl sulfide but they could not.
Artemis moon shot a go, scheduled for 6:24 Eastern time tonight
Great marketing arranged by Amazon to promote Project Hail Mary. Okay not really but it does work out that way.
What? Skeleton of the most famous Musketeer, D'Artagnan, possibly discovered in Dutch church closet.
Dumas picked four names of real musketeers out of a history book, D'Artagnan, Athos, Aramis, and Porthos. So there was an actual D'Artagnan, though he made most of the story up. (Or, you know, all of it.)* Charles de Batz de Castelmore, known as d'Artagnan, the famous musketeer of Kings Louis XIII and Louis XIV, spent his life in the service of the French crown. A lot of Dumas's stories are based on bits of real history. The plot of the >Three Musketeers, about trying to recover lost diamonds from the queen's necklace, was cribbed from the then-almost-contemporaneous Affair of the Queen's Necklace. And the Man in the Iron Mask is based on real accounts of a prisoner forced to wear a mask (though I think it was a velvet mask). * Oh, I should mention, Dumas says all this, about finding the names in an old book, in the prologue to his novel. But authors lie a lot. They frequently present fictions as based on historic fact. The twist is, he was actually telling the truth here. At least about these four musketeers having actually existed and served under Louis XIV. Fun fact: You know the beginning of A Fistful of Dollars where the local gunslingers make fun of Clint Eastwood's donkey and Eastwood demands they apologize to the donkey? That's lifted from The Three Musketeers. Rochefort mocks D'Artagnan's old, brokedown farm horse and D'Artagnan is incensed.
A commenter asked which should be read first, The Hobbit of LOTR?
Easy, no question -- read The Hobbit first. It's actually the start of the story and comes first chronologically. It sets up some major characters and major pieces in play in LOTR. Also, the Hobbit is Beginner-Friendly, which LOTR isn't. The Hobbit really is a delightful book, and a fast read. It's chatty, it's casual, it's exciting, and it's funny. In that dry cheeky British humor way. I love that the narrator is constantly making little asides and commentary, like he's just sitting next to you telling you this story as it occurs to him. LOTR is a very long story. Fifteen hundred pages or so. The Hobbit is relatively short and very punchy and easy to read. If you don't like The Hobbit, you can skip out on LOTR. If you do like it, you'll be primed to read LOTR. Oh, I should say: The Hobbit is written as if it's for children, but one of those smart children's stories that are also for adults. Don't worry, there's also real fighting and violence and horror in it, too. LOTR is written for adults. (It's said that Tolkien wrote both for his children, but LOTR was written 17 years later, when his children were adults.) Some might not like The Hobbit due to its sometimes frivolous tone. Me, I love it. I find it constantly amusing. Both are really good but there is a starkly different tone to both. LOTR is epic, grand, and serious, about a world war, The Hobbit is light and breezy, and about a heist. Though a heist that culminates in a war for the spoils.
The Hobbit Challenge: Read two more chapters. I didn't have much time. Bilbo got the ring.
I noticed a continuity problem. Maybe. Now, as of the time of The Hobbit, it was unknown that this magic ring was in fact a Ring of Power, and it was doubly unknown that it was the Ring of Power, the Master Ring that controlled the others. But the narrator -- who we will learn in LOTR was none of than Bilbo himself, who wrote the book as "There and Back Again" -- says this about Gollum's ring: "But who knows how Gollum had come by that present [the Ring], ages ago in the old days when such rings were still at large in the world? Perhaps even the Master who ruled them could not have said." In another passage, the ring is identified as a "ring of power." I don't know, I always thought there was a distinction between mere magic rings and the Rings of Power created by Sauron. But this suggests that Bilbo knew this was a ring of power created by Sauron. Now I don't remember when Bilbo wrote the Hobbit. In the movie, he shows Frodo the book in Rivendell, and I guess he wrote it after he left the Shire. I guess he might have added in the part about the ring being a ring of power created by "the Master" after Gandalf appraised him of his research into the ring. I never noticed this before. I know Tolkien re-wrote this chapter while he was writing LOTR to make the ring important from the start. And also to make Gollum more sinister and evil, and also to remove the part where Gollum actually offers Bilbo the ring as a "present" -- Bilbo had already found it on his own, but Gollum was wiling to give it away, which obviously is not something the rewritten Gollum would ever do. But I had no memory of the ring being suggested to be The Ring so early in the tale.
Finish the job, Mr. President!
Melanie Phillips lays out the case for the total destruction of the Iranian government and armed forces. [CBD]
Oh, I forgot to mention this quote from Pete Hegseth, reported by Roger Kimball: "We are sharing the ocean with the Iranian Navy. We're giving them the bottom half."
Batman fires The Batman
Batman is disgusted by the Joachim Phoenix version of Joker Batman tries to fire Superman Batman is still workshopping his Bat-Voice
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click: Red Leather Suit and Sweatband Edition
And I was here to please I'm even on knees Makin' love to whoever I please I gotta do it my way Or no way at all
Tomorrow is March 25th, "Tolkien Reading Day," because March 25th is the day when the Ring is destroyed in the book. I think I'm going to start the Hobbit tomorrow and read all four books this time.
The only bad part of the trilogy are the Frodo/Sam chapters in The Two Towers. They're repetitive, slow, and mostly about the weather and terrain. But most everything else is good. Weirdly, the Frodo-Sam chapters in Return of the King are exciting and action-packed and among the best in the trilogy. (Though the chapters with everyone else in Return of the King get pretty slow again. Mostly people talking about marching towards war, and then marching towards war.)
Sec. Army recognizes ODU Army ROTC cadets for their bravery and sacrifice in private ceremony
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