Wait, I thought the Onion was a satire site. Where was the satire? I don't get it.

That'll be the first time The (fried) {out of their noodle -ed} Onion has been both funny and true in a LONG time.

WTF ever happened to that right leaning Onion parody site?

The Onion? Never heard of it.

Or, it's funny and it makes you think (about what an empty shell of a candidate John Kerry is)

The last time I actually laughed at an article in The Onion was when they made fun of Gigli. That was good stuff. Now I read it and think, "That's vaguely funny, I guess." Is it just a coincidence that a) the Gigli thing was about Ben Affleck, and b) B-Fleck is now in bed (literally) with the Democrats?

I agree with Sobek that this is not funny. Kerry has more than one plan to rescue america, and getting rid of Bush is only the first step.
Just knowing that Bush lied and people died is the first step toward political enlightenment. Your readers need to be enlightened.

Akefa doesn't seem to understand just why I don't find it funny. I never said it was inaccurate.

"Kerry has more than one plan to rescue america..."

Customarily, we capitalize the word America when writing in English. And I agree with you that Kerry has more than one plan. He's got lots of 'em. He's got more plans than any one person can count. Mutually exclusive plans, to be sure, but that's just the beauty of it: he can explain one plan to one group on Monday, and then explain a diametrically opposed plan on Wednesday, all depending on who his audience is. How can you not respect that?

"Just knowing that Bush lied and people died is the first step toward political enlightenment."

I know I felt more politically enlightened when I substituted quoting bumper stickers for reasoned analysis based on fact. Pray tell, to which lie are you referring? And what do you think about John Kerry's lie about Christmas in Cambodia (which Kerry's camp is now backing away from), which led to U.S. withdrawal from Vietnam and the deaths of millions of Vietnamese and Cambodians?

Viet Nam is ancient history. Republicans need to get over it. Nixon's war hurt america, and republicans never learn.

"Viet Nam is ancient history."

I couldn't agree more. So why won't Kerry shut up about it? Oh right, he has nothing else to run on.

Pardon my flagrantly ending a sentence with a preposition. I ashamedly realize I've lowered the collective level of discourse here at Ace of Spades HQ. It won't happen again.

Loose shit, Sobek.

I am rather shocked by how quickly our liberal has gone from Vietnam is the most important issue in this election to Let's just MoveOn (TM).

I know, Paul Anka has been sending me hateful e-mails all day.

"Nixon's war"?

Is that what they're teaching in public school these days? That Nixon started the war?

Actually, it wouldn't surprise me at all: "Nixon started Vietnam, Bushitler lied, now shut up and go practice putting condoms on a banana."

Scout, I don't see why you have to get all snitty about who was president at the technical beginning of the war. Just like a conservative to split hairs about such nit-picky stuff like that.

Along those same lines, I think we are justified in referring to the Spanish Inquisition as the Republican Inquisition, Jeffrey Dahmer's house as Donald Rumsfeld's house, Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet as Al Gore's Romeo and Juliet, and Hitler as (I know you can see this one coming) Bush.

Historical Revisionism 101. And BTW, it was a zucchini, not a banana. You're just following the neo-con party line.

I'm starting to suspect that "Akefa" is an above-average undergraduate AI program.

Above average? Dr. Sbaitso makes more sense than Akefa. And at least you can get some enjoyment from Dr. Sbaitso--I never got tired of hearing him curse in broken English.

I always liked hearing him try to pronounce sentences in foreign languages.

Hey, I would have been hard-pressed to equal the Akefa agent's performance in my sordid academic days. Besides, I give "his" coder points for being able to monitor the comment thread and semi-plausibly handle the munged link with a sort of coherent followup post. Had me going for a while.

Nixon's war? Wow. There were two presidents prior to Nixon during the Vietnam War, but it was "Nixon's War". Interesting what people believe in spite of fact.

I voted for Tricky Dick because I figured it was going to take a change in parties to get us out of Vietnam. He -did- take a term and a half to do it, however. (Anyone remember -that-?) I'm hopeful Kerry will get us out of Iraq a bit more quickly. But I think McCain would accomplish it with more finesse. He can "think" -and- "do."