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« Ben Affleck Banging Kerry Girls? | Main | Moore's Lies: The Obese Gifts That Keep on Corpulently Giving »
July 30, 2004

Kerry Rues Clues He May Lose Jews, Anew

You know what? Don't even bother reading this story. It's the same story, basically, that I've already linked and that you've already read six billion times.

Jews might go bigger for Bush. Yeah, maybe. Probably not. Sure. What-everrrrr.

I just like the headline.

Ignore everything in this post except the headline. That's a keeper.


posted by Ace at 03:59 PM
Comments



So, I thought the Jooooooos were evil, why would Kerry want the Elders of Zion voting for him anyway? Wouldn't that taint him?

Posted by: Brian B on July 30, 2004 04:44 PM

"...could swing the election..."

I am so positively sick to death of that phrase. You know, if an election is won by 537 votes out of 100 million cast, every single tawdry special interest clique "swung the election". I can just see Tim Russert with his little dry marker board, all scribbled on:

So, you see Tom, this proves the election swung on the Tibetan Mooseherder's Castration Society vote. Kerry really went balls to the wall for them, and they came through for him!

Kids, get me another beer....

Posted by: The Black Republican on July 30, 2004 04:56 PM

Rues Clues, isn't that a PBS children's show?

Posted by: Dave Pasquino on July 30, 2004 05:44 PM

S'true.

Posted by: Brian B on July 30, 2004 06:06 PM

Subhead: Bad News gives John the Blues; Ignites Teresa's Fuse

Posted by: Senator PhilABuster on July 30, 2004 06:28 PM

Off topic, but "The New Zoo Review" was a fine show. Giant gay frogs? What more can a kid ask for...?

Posted by: Jeff G on July 30, 2004 06:52 PM

Hey, check out the Quickview poll at CNN.com:
---------
To win the presidential election, what should be Sen. John Kerry's top priority?

- The war in Iraq
- National security
- The economy
- Values

---------

Perhaps I'm back into my "nitpick everything that even hints at media bias" mode, but isn't this formulation biased? It assumes the Democratic talking points that Iraq and "national security" are two distinct issues. While I can be all Kerry (so very!) and see the nuance there, I'm pretty sure war-supporting conservatives would see them both as the same issue.

Oh, that's right, I forgot-- Kerry told us that *homeland defense* is the first priority of national security. Too bad those first responders (brave men and women all) can't shoot terrorists first, ask questions later.

Anyways, I hope the Dems are consistent, and if they win they cut all funding for an AIDS vaccine-- no sense in actually *curing* diseases, not when you can always buy condoms, right? Same concept, right?

Dave
Arlington, Virginia

Posted by: Dave on July 30, 2004 07:02 PM

Off Topic:

Al-Jazeera's reporting that Zarqawi's been captured here: [url]http://www.aljazeera.com/cgi-bin/news_service/middle_east_full_story.asp?service_id=2955[/url]

The report will probably not pan out judging from the source [it seems as if its the same report from a few days ago, but its dated today's date], but if it ends up being true, Joshua Micah Hammerstein Marshall's literally going to shit out his colon. It's worth visiting the link anyway, to see a few comments from [what I presume to be] Muslims actually hoping this monster is caught; but more importantly, there's a bizarre advertisement of Bill Bixby with Lou Ferigno [as the Hulk].

Posted by: Cp. Menno on July 30, 2004 07:34 PM

Aljazeera.com is a spoof site. Sorry. Too bad, - wouldn't mind seeing that MF taken out with extreme prejudice today, tomorrow or any other day even if I am an america-hating liberal.

Posted by: TAL on July 30, 2004 07:38 PM

Kerry Rues Clues He May Lose Jews, anew, ENTRE NOUS.

Posted by: kelly on July 31, 2004 08:26 PM
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Funniest thing I've read about the Virginia mess. Back when they were hustling the referendum through the assembly both Senators, Warner and Kaine, advised them to go slow and play by the rules. Louise Lucas said she respected them but didn't need advice from the "cuck chair" in the corner. The gerrymandering was overturned and Louise is heading for the big house. Edward G. Robinson voice "where's your cuck now?"
Posted by: Smell the Glove

I posted his post on twitter and it's gotten 25K views so far. Thanks, Smell the Glove
Chris
@chriswithans

aaahahaa.jpg


"Ahhhhh ahh I put my career on the line for Louise Lucas and Jay Jones thinking they'd vault me into presidential contention and we ended up costing Democrats 20 House seats and unleashing a Reverse Dobbs ahhhhh ahhh"
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click That Sums Up the Democrat Communist Party Today
Something is wrong as I hold you near
Somebody else holds your heart, yeah
You turn to me with your icy tears
And then it's raining, feels like it's raining
"It's f**king f**ked."
-- reportedly a genuine comment offered by a "senior Labour source"
Correction: I wrote that Labour is losing 88% (now 87%) of the seats it is "defending." I think that's wrong. The right way to say it is the seats they are contesting -- that is, they don't necessarily already hold these seats, but they have put up a candidate to run for the seat. It's still very bad but not as bad as losing 87% of the seats they already held.
Basil the Great
@BasilTheGreat

🚨ED MILIBAND [a Minister in Starmer's government] SAYS KEIR STARMER WILL RESIGN AS PRIME MINISTER

He has reportedly reassured Labour MP's that Starmer will be resigning following the disastrous results tonight

It's over
"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
Incidentally, the only reason this didn't already happen in the US is because of the Very Bad Orange Man (who is right on 85% of all policy calls and extremely, existentially right on 15% of them)
No political party that is NOT also a doomsday religious cult would EVER choose a cataclysmic loss -- and possible extinction as a party -- to support a toxically unpopular favoritism of NON-CITIZEN ILLEGAL MIGRANTS over actual citizen voters.

Only a cult does this.
Now they've lost 84%.
Annunziata Rees-Mogg
@zatzi
If this continues Labour loses 2,148 seats tonight.

That is much worse than the worst case predictions I’ve seen.

Cataclysmic

Update: They've now lost 88% of the seats they're defending. As I mentioned earlier, I think I heard that London will not bail them out, as many of those Labour seats will probably flip to "Muslim Independent" or Green. Detroit's 5am vote will not save them.
Yup, Labour is losing 80% of its seats...
The British Patriot
@TheBritLad

🚨 BREAKING: Labour have lost 80% of all seats contested as of 2:25 AM.<
br> If this continues, Keir Starmer will be out of office next week.

Reform has surged and projected to pick up between 1700-2100 seats.


Wow, up to 1700-2100 seats. It's not incredible that this is happening. It's incredible that the Davos crowd is so absolutely determined to privilege Muslim "migrants" over the actual native population who elects them, no matter how loudly the natives scream that they want to be prioritized, that they will gladly self-extinguish as a party rather than simply representing the interests of their own voters. Astonishing.
Remember, when they call other people "cultists" -- they are the ones so imprisoned in their social reinforcement and discipline bubbles that they will choose political death rather than dare upset the Karen Enforcement Officers of their cult.
Update: Now they've lost 83% of the seats they were defending.
(((Dan Hodges)))
@DPJHodges

Reform are basically wiping Labour out in the North. It's not a defeat. It's not even a rout. Labour are simply ceasing to exist.


Nick Lowles
@lowles_nick

Tonight’s results are calamitous for Labour. Not just for Keir Starmer's leadership, but for the very future of the party
STARMERGEDDON: In early returns, Reform gains 135 seats, Labour loses 90, the Fake Conservatives lose 36 (and I didn't even know they could fall any further), the Lib Dems lose 4, and the Greens gain 6. Note that the only other party gaining seats is the Greens and they're only gaining a handful of seats.
Update: Reform now up 145, Labour down 98.
Labour projected to lose Wales -- where they've ruled for 27 years.
Fulton County Georgia just discovered 400 boxes of ballots for Labour
Update: REF +156, LAB -107, CON -45
Brutal: In four out of five council seats where Labour is defending, they've lost. 80%.
I'm sure it's not this simple, but Reform is straight taking Labour's and the "Conservatives'" seats. They've lost almost exactly what Reform gained. If understand this right (and warning, I probably don't), all of London's council seats are up for election, and Labour might lose hugely there, as their old voters abandon them for Reform, Muslim Indenpendents, and the Greens.
REF +190, LAB -134, CON -56.
Updates on the Labour collapse in council elections -- which wags are calling #Starmergeddon -- from Beege Welborne. There are about 5000 seats up for grabs, Labour is expected to lose 1,800, Reform will probably gain 1,580, up from... zero. So this would be more than that.
People claim that while Labour has adopted the Sharia Agenda to appeal to the million Muslims it allowed to migrate to the country, those voters are ditching Labour to vote for the Muslim Independent Party or the Greens. Delicious. This shadenfreude is going straight to my thighs.
Oh, and if Starmer loses about as badly as expected, Labour will toss him out of a window Braveheart style and replace him. He will announce he is resigning to spend more time with his Gay Ukrainian Male Prostitutes.
Media bias and senationalism are as old as, well, the media:
spidermanthreatormenace.jpg

That was written by Denny O'Neill and illustrated by, get this, Frank Miller. Editor to the Stars Jim Shooter was in charge at the time.
I always thought the gag was original to the comic book, but in fact the "Threat or Menace" headline was a satirical joke about media bias and sensationalism for a long while. The Harvard Lampoon used it in a parody of Life magazine: "Flying Saucers: Threat or Menace?"
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