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« The Pedro Martinez Conundrum | Main | More on USAToday/Ann Coulter »
July 28, 2004

Simpsons Character Coming Out of Closet

And I wouldn't bet on Waylon Smithers, either.

Thanks to The Perfect World.


posted by Ace at 01:33 PM
Comments



Carl or Lenny are the original Ambiguously Gay Duo, so that's not much of a mystery. I think it's going to be Milhouse's dad, FWIW.

Posted by: Joan of Argghh! on July 28, 2004 01:43 PM

No wait! Flanders! He DID look sexy in his ski suit..."like wearing nothing at all."

Posted by: Joan of Argghh! on July 28, 2004 01:44 PM

"SimPsons" --Doh!!

Posted by: Rusty Shackleford on July 28, 2004 01:49 PM

Is it 'mo, I mean Moe?

Posted by: Ken J on July 28, 2004 02:11 PM

Rusty,

I DON'T GET IT. IF YOU'RE BEING SARCASTIC, YOU SURE LOST ME.

Posted by: ace on July 28, 2004 02:44 PM

Flanders does have the most comic potential. Can you imagine a Christian, conservative man grappling with homosexuality? He'd go nuts. And then he'd get a blog and raise $120,000.

Posted by: Allah on July 28, 2004 02:48 PM

No doubt, a gay Flanders is where the writers' Hollywood hearts are at. It's soooo tempting for them.

But it's so tempting it might be considered hack and obvious. The show's gone downhill, though (haven't watched it in three or four years). So maybe that no longer restrains them.

The Lenny/Carl thing is also a gimme, and therefore not a surprise. The whole deal would also get ruined by the announcement that one or bother were gay; the humor comes from the "What-- is -- going on -- there?" nature of the situation, and if they explain what is going on there, it's not funny anymore.

I like Wiggums for the homosexual, myself.

Posted by: ace on July 28, 2004 02:59 PM

While avoiding the "major characters" lets look at some minor characters that are candidates and their possible stories:

Comic Book Guy: Unable to get members of the female sex to date him, CBG switches teams. This all culminates in what viewers later term "Worst. Honeymoon. Ever."

Rainer Wolfcastle: Hmmmmm...a body-oiling Austrian bodybuilder? Gives new meaning to "Pumping Iron".

Bumblebee Man: Come on...we all know that stinger on his butt is more than a little symbolic....

Sideshow Bob: Just a little orientation he picked up while in prison.

Edna Krabapple: Already dates the henpecked momma's boy, Principal Skinner. Marries Skinner's mother.

Oliver Willis: What? He's real, and not on the Simpsons? OK. I still put a fiver on him coming out though.

Mayor Quimby: In an homage to Gavin Newsome, Quimby defies Springfields laws and issues himself a marriage license. "Ask not what your country can do for you; ask where you can get married in your country".

Posted by: Senator PhilABuster on July 28, 2004 03:24 PM

Rainer Wolfcastle might be a good call.

Posted by: ace on July 28, 2004 03:26 PM

It's Patty. It's been hinted at in a number of episodes (like the "coming out of the closet" float in the gay pride parade).

Posted by: Raoul Ortega on July 28, 2004 03:32 PM

I think its Milhouse. Anyone remember that episode-

Milhouse: "H-h-h-hey Bart, remember how I wasn't ready to tell you about that problem I had the other day? Well, I think I'm ready to tell you."

Bart:(desperately changing the subject) Hey look! Let's watch TV!!"

Posted by: Tman on July 28, 2004 05:03 PM

It´s probably just the cat or the dog.
Or one of marge´s sisters.
well, of course it could also be milhouse.
or both sisters!

Posted by: I KNOW IT on July 28, 2004 05:25 PM

Willie.

The Greased Scotsman.

Posted by: Aaron on July 28, 2004 06:18 PM

My money's on Moe the bartender. Remember when he, Homer, Bart and Barney get saved from the killer reindeer by the gay guy (voice of John Waters)? He say, "Save me. I'll do anything you want. Any-thing." My gadar went off the charts with that line.

Posted by: michael dennis on July 28, 2004 06:40 PM

Well, having characters make vaguely, or not so vaguely, gay remarks is a Simpsons staple.

I don't know of any male characters off the top of my head, and only a few female ones, who have NOT made gay remarks.

Homer makes them every other week.

Posted by: ace on July 28, 2004 07:53 PM

My money's on Ned Flanders. Groening is quite liberal, and would doubtlessly love to take a potshot at the one religious fundamentalist character.

Posted by: Beck on July 28, 2004 11:35 PM

Groening is an asshole - so it will probably be Wiggum

Posted by: Slinder on March 15, 2005 04:54 AM

Am i crazy or do half the Simpsons cast act a little gay now?

Theyve always made a few jokes like Ace said, but lately it seems like every other episode has an extra bit of Gayness thrown in.

The Simpsons jumped the shark in season 8 anyway.

Posted by: on March 15, 2005 07:04 AM
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"It's f**king f**ked."
-- reportedly a genuine comment offered by a "senior Labour source"
Correction: I wrote that Labour is losing 88% (now 87%) of the seats it is "defending." I think that's wrong. The right way to say it is the seats they are contesting -- that is, they don't necessarily already hold these seats, but they have put up a candidate to run for the seat. It's still very bad but not as bad as losing 87% of the seats they already held.
Basil the Great
@BasilTheGreat

🚨ED MILIBAND [a Minister in Starmer's government] SAYS KEIR STARMER WILL RESIGN AS PRIME MINISTER

He has reportedly reassured Labour MP's that Starmer will be resigning following the disastrous results tonight

It's over
"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
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No political party that is NOT also a doomsday religious cult would EVER choose a cataclysmic loss -- and possible extinction as a party -- to support a toxically unpopular favoritism of NON-CITIZEN ILLEGAL MIGRANTS over actual citizen voters.

Only a cult does this.
Now they've lost 84%.
Annunziata Rees-Mogg
@zatzi
If this continues Labour loses 2,148 seats tonight.

That is much worse than the worst case predictions I’ve seen.

Cataclysmic

Update: They've now lost 88% of the seats they're defending. As I mentioned earlier, I think I heard that London will not bail them out, as many of those Labour seats will probably flip to "Muslim Independent" or Green. Detroit's 5am vote will not save them.
Yup, Labour is losing 80% of its seats...
The British Patriot
@TheBritLad

🚨 BREAKING: Labour have lost 80% of all seats contested as of 2:25 AM.<
br> If this continues, Keir Starmer will be out of office next week.

Reform has surged and projected to pick up between 1700-2100 seats.


Wow, up to 1700-2100 seats. It's not incredible that this is happening. It's incredible that the Davos crowd is so absolutely determined to privilege Muslim "migrants" over the actual native population who elects them, no matter how loudly the natives scream that they want to be prioritized, that they will gladly self-extinguish as a party rather than simply representing the interests of their own voters. Astonishing.
Remember, when they call other people "cultists" -- they are the ones so imprisoned in their social reinforcement and discipline bubbles that they will choose political death rather than dare upset the Karen Enforcement Officers of their cult.
Update: Now they've lost 83% of the seats they were defending.
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Tonight’s results are calamitous for Labour. Not just for Keir Starmer's leadership, but for the very future of the party
STARMERGEDDON: In early returns, Reform gains 135 seats, Labour loses 90, the Fake Conservatives lose 36 (and I didn't even know they could fall any further), the Lib Dems lose 4, and the Greens gain 6. Note that the only other party gaining seats is the Greens and they're only gaining a handful of seats.
Update: Reform now up 145, Labour down 98.
Labour projected to lose Wales -- where they've ruled for 27 years.
Fulton County Georgia just discovered 400 boxes of ballots for Labour
Update: REF +156, LAB -107, CON -45
Brutal: In four out of five council seats where Labour is defending, they've lost. 80%.
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REF +190, LAB -134, CON -56.
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