| Intermarkets' Privacy Policy Support
Donate to Ace of Spades HQ! Contact
Ace:aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com Buck: buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com CBD: cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com joe mannix: mannix2024 at proton.me MisHum: petmorons at gee mail.com J.J. Sefton: sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com Recent Entries
Rainy Season Cafe
Quick Hits Queer Stammer Survives Parliamentary Vote; "No Kings" Democrats Wildly Applaud Literal King of Post-Christian England House Passes Bill to Deport Foreign Pirates who Defraud the American Taxpayer; 186 Democrats Vote to Keep the Pirates In the Country "Objective" "Journalists" Chuck Todd & Chris Cilizza: It's Donald Trump's Fault That Our Friends Keep Trying to Kill Him, "Chaos Follows Him" and it Makes Us Unsafe If We're "In His Orbit" When the Next Leftist We Programmed to Kill Takes a shot Virginia Supreme Court Denies Democrat Motion to Impose Gerrymandered Map During the Hearings Over Its Legality Comey Indicted for Threating Trump's Life with "8645" Post? Fauci Advisor David Morens -- Whom Biden Forgot to Pardon -- Arrested and Charged for Conspiracy and Destruction of Federal Records Related to Fauci's COVID Cover-Up Update! Is Peter Daszak Next?! DOJ Lear Somali Pirates a Lesson, Raiding 22 Pirate Plunder Operations in Tim Walz's Third World Hell-Hole of Minneapolis The Morning Rant: NATO...An Idea Whose Time Is Past Mid-Morning Art Thread Absent Friends
Jon Ekdahl 2026
Jay Guevara 2025 Jim Sunk New Dawn 2025 Jewells45 2025 Bandersnatch 2024 GnuBreed 2024 Captain Hate 2023 moon_over_vermont 2023 westminsterdogshow 2023 Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022 Dave In Texas 2022 Jesse in D.C. 2022 OregonMuse 2022 redc1c4 2021 Tami 2021 Chavez the Hugo 2020 Ibguy 2020 Rickl 2019 Joffen 2014 AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published.
Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups
Texas MoMe 2026: 10/16/2026-10/17/2026 Corsicana,TX Contact Ben Had for info |
« What the World Needs Now is Cowbell, Sweet Cowbell |
Main
| AOLTimeWarner Gives 73% of Its Political Contributions to... Democrats »
June 01, 2004
Al Franken Now Working At Air America For Free"That sounds about right," say industry insiders N E W Y O R K -- Al Franken, the bespectacled bonehead who hosts the O'Franken Report for Air America, has agreed to work at the fledling fiasco without salary until the station becomes financially solvent or else goes out of business, whichever comes sooner. Which will, of course, be the second one. Franken is best known for his "Stuart Smalley" character, whose foray into film raked in an astonishing $950,000, making it the top-grossing film starring a former member of the "Franken and Davis Show." Stuart Saves His Family did stunning business at the box-office, taking in a haul that put it just thirty or forty million dollars shy of turning a profit. "Had the film made twenty million dollars more," Franken agent said, "people would be talking about Al as the new Chris Kattan, or at least the new Tim Kazurinsky." Franken's show continues to be the highest-rated program on the Air America radio "network," which is a "network" in the same sense that you and your drinkin' buddy "Stinky" constitute a "network." Franken's ratings have zoomed in the past month, and the show is now rated number 6 in the New York market in the key demographic of 54-55 year old female abortion-services providers who own more that five Paula Cole albums. In what a Franken spokesperson hails as a "triumph," Franken's ratings have now passed the ratings for non-Spanish speakers who accidentally listen to Spanish-language stations because they misprogrammed their cars' digital tuner and now have all ten presets set to Ola! Con Nina y "El Jalapeno." "These numbers show absolutely remarkable growth," Franken's spokescreature said. "Within a month, we'll pass our key competitor, Channel D." Channel D is a non-commercial bandwidth reserved for radio communications between security guards. Air America celebrated the latest good news by throwing a party at one of New York's most exclusive restaurants, the 68th Street Bennigan's. The partygoers further saved station resources by skipping out on the bill. "If Al Franken can work without a salary, so can the Bennigan's corporation," fellow host Lizz Winstead remarked. "We've all got to do our bit for progressive politics and social justice." Lisa, the waitress who served them, disagrees, and says she wants to at least be tipped for her service. When asked if she harbors any hard feelings towards Al Franken, she turns quizzically and says, "Who?" posted by Ace at 02:48 PM
CommentsIf a lying liar lies on the radio...and nobody is listening...is it still a lie? Posted by: sonofnixon on June 1, 2004 03:02 PM
Another excellent bit of writing Ace. Oh how you help me pass the hours I must spend toiling mindlessly for evil capitalist pigs. Posted by: marty on June 1, 2004 04:21 PM
Im feeling all tingly w/ schadenfreude. Can't wait to guffaw, chortle and snort over Air America's imminent demise. Posted by: Golden Boy on June 1, 2004 04:41 PM
When they fail it will only be more evidence that capitalism is flawed, and inherently unfair, and that corporate interests are crushing true freedom of thought in this country. Sigh. Posted by: lauraw on June 1, 2004 05:21 PM
Libertarian talk-show host Neal Boortz thinks the inevitable crash and burn of Air America is a bad thing. Not because it contributes anything of substance, of course, but because it will give liberals more incentive to try to shut down commerically viable (i.e. conservative) talk radio. I'm not sure I agree. He makes it sound like liberals *need* an excuse. Posted by: Aaron on June 1, 2004 05:24 PM
"When they fail it will only be more evidence that capitalism is flawed, and inherently unfair, and that corporate interests are crushing true freedom of thought in this country." No, when they fail, it will prove that fewer and fewer people want to hear the garbage that passes for coherent thought on the Left these days. Posted by: zetetic on June 1, 2004 10:05 PM
Your ratings are a little off, though. It's actually "#1 among 18-54 year olds." From the Chicago Tribune: "But in New York, where Air America still broadcasts over WLIB-1190 AM, the network beat Limbaugh's station, Disney-owned WABC, among both 25-to-54-year-olds and 18-to-34-year-olds during the 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. period. In the 25-to-54 demographic, WLIB garnered a 3.4 share to WABC's 3.1; among 18-to-34-year-olds, WLIB won sevenfold with a 2.9 share to WABC's 0.4." Posted by: on June 2, 2004 02:32 AM
More from the same article: Insiders cautioned that, while it is standard to use extrapolations as a guide to the performance of a station, they are preliminary and prone to a certain margin of error." And the NYT tells us that the "third party" here is..........Air America. Air America has more than its share of ongoing troubles. Posted by: Mickey Chandler on June 2, 2004 03:18 AM
"No, when they fail, it will prove that fewer and fewer people want to hear the garbage that passes for coherent thought on the Left these days." You just try and tell THEM that. They are experts at blowing smoke up their own butts and ignoring actual reality, in favor of some theoretical world that doesn't exist. Trust me. When they fail it will be America's fault, not Air America's fault. Posted by: lauraw on June 2, 2004 10:21 AM
"When they fail it will be America's fault, not Air America's fault." Well, of course. They have to be victims of something; otherwise they wouldn't be liberals. Posted by: zetetic on June 2, 2004 12:07 PM
or.. umm.. sorta. Posted by: Neal Boortz kicks Franken's ass on his own show! on June 3, 2004 11:16 AM
And here I always thought that Channel D was reserved for the use of Number 1, Section 2 and Number 2, Section 2. Posted by: fox2 on June 6, 2004 07:17 PM
More Americans voted for liberal Gore than conservative Bush in the 2000 election. ZING! Posted by: Pilot1 on June 8, 2004 06:37 PM
Well it has been about a year and Air America is going strong, any smart assed shit to say now? Posted by: megadave2002 on May 24, 2005 03:15 PM
Post a comment
| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
ANOTHER LEFT WING ASSASSIN ATTEMPTS TO KILL TRUMP
If I understand this, the left-wing Democrat assassin attempted to get into the White House Correspondents Association dinner, and was stopped at the magnetometers, which detected his gun. I guess he pulled out the gun and was shot by Secret Service agents. Erika Kirk was present.
Forgotten 70s Mystery Click
You made me cry when you said good-bye 70s, not 50s Now that is a motherflipping intro
NYT Melts Down Over Texas Rangers Statue Outside... Texas Rangers' Stadium
"The Athletic posted a lengthy article about a statue outside Globe Life Field, presenting a virtue-signaling moral grievance as unbiased news coverage." [CBD]
Important Message from Recent Convert to Christianity and Yet Super-Serious Christian Tuq'r Qarlson: Actually Muslims love Jesus, it's Trump and his neocons who hate him
Tucker Carlson Network Trump's trolling tweet was ill-advised, but Tucker is just lying when he claims the Christianity-hating President of Iran was "offended" by this. He's one step away from announcing his official conversion to Islam. He literally never stops praising Islam. Well, he suddenly became Christian two years ago, there's not much stopping him from converting again. You can track Tuq'r's official conversion to Islam with this Bingo card.
People say that the bearded man in the video of Fartwell molesting a hooker looks like Democrat Arizona Senator Rueben Gallego, said to be Swalwell's "best friend" and known to take vacations with him.
@KFILE 21m So the campaign is collapsing due to the truth of the sexual harassment allegations. That hissing sound you hear is the air going out of the Swalwell campaign. UPDATE: No it wasn't, it was just Swalwell one-cheek-sneaking out a fart on camera Eric Swalwell more like Eric Farewell amirite thanks to weft-cut loop.
This is the dumbest AI bullslop I've seen in a while: the CIA can use "quantum magnetometry" to track an individual man's heartbeat from twelve miles away
I wouldn't click on it, it's not interesting, it's just stupid clickslop. I just want to share my annoyance with you.
Oil prices plunge on bizarre realization that Eric Swalwell may actually be straight. A rapey molester, allegedly, but a straight one.
Classic Rock Mystery Click
This is super-obscure and I only barely remember it. Given that, I'll give you the hint that it's by the Red Rocker. And I guess you think you've got it made Oh, but then, you never were afraid Of anything that you've left behind Oh, but it's alright with me now 'Cause I'll get back up somehow And with a little luck, yes, I'm bound to win Now twenty people will tell me it's not obscure, it was huge in their hometown and played at their prom. That's how it usually goes. When I linked Donnie Iris's "Love is Like a Rock," everyone said they knew that one and that his other song (which I didn't know at all) Ah Leah! was huge in their area. Recent Comments
Axeman:
"I've forgiven Richard Wagner for inspiring Hitler ..."
Illhan Omar, smarty pants: " The Eleven Towers ..." Harry Vandenburg: "Pfizer was warp speeded by Trump that was what Tru ..." Anonosaurus Wrecks, Fat, Dumb, and Happy[/s] [/i] [/u] [/b]: "Troll Master of the Universe stirring up trouble. ..." L - No nic, another fine day: "92. Isn't Joe and Jill Biden's age gap greater? P ..." Washington Nearsider, preparing for The Reckoning : ""Benefit Concert for Bondi Beach Victims Canceled; ..." Frank Barone: " That whole dinner party is trying to cosplay a K ..." Bulg: "201 Jennifer Lawrence has fabulous eyes. ..." Jen the original : "Will be interested in Piper’s discussion of ..." gKWVE: "shain, it was godfather 11 ..." NemoMeImpuneLacessit[/i][/b][/u][/s]: "[i] No intelligent person is going to say "World W ..." Kindltot: "DeLaura looks like a small Black Forest gingerbrea ..." Bloggers in Arms
RI Red's Blog! Behind The Black CutJibNewsletter The Pipeline Second City Cop Talk Of The Town with Steve Noxon Belmont Club Chicago Boyz Cold Fury Da Goddess Daily Pundit Dawn Eden Day by Day (Cartoon) EduWonk Enter Stage Right The Epoch Times Grim's Hall Victor Davis Hanson Hugh Hewitt IMAO Instapundit JihadWatch Kausfiles Lileks/The Bleat Memeorandum (Metablog) Outside the Beltway Patterico's Pontifications The People's Cube Powerline RedState Reliapundit Viking Pundit WizBang Some Humorous Asides
Kaboom!
Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
|