Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!
Top Headlines
Twitter rumors fly that Turkey's Islamist tyrant Erdogan is dead
Just rumors. Wonderful, wonderful rumors. Here's a long distance dedication from Dope called Die, M***erf****er, Die!
The American "news" media, not Russian Bots and not Trump, is responsible for sowing divisions and hatred in America, according to left-leaning centrist Tim Pool
I mention this because a mere 15 years ago, only ideologically engaged conservatives hated the media. Now everyone does.
Normies -- more or less apolitical, only-vote-in-presidential-elections normies -- now routinely roll their eyes at mention of the media. That's big.
Is Neil deGrasse Tyson really this dumb? [CBD]
The Inventor Who Fought To Get Black Box Flight Recorders Into Every Plane, and of all the resistance he encountered along the way. [dri]
Mark Dice dubs Little Brian Stelter on the White House social media summit
Little Brian Stelter's ratings have fallen 42%. I'm afraid for Mark Dice -- what's he gonna do when Tater gets shitcanned? Dice needs to start promoting Reliable Sources.
David Steinberg: The Washington Examiner stole the Omar story we had broken, without crediting us, and when I complained, they said we should just be happy that someone gave the story some coverage
Now former writer Tiana Lowe says she merely salvaged the story from the "alt-right hacks" who had tainted it with their Nazi associations
Some take issue with this self-serving claim
It takes some cheek to imply that David Steinberg and the Powerline Guys, who are lawyers, are "alt-right hacks" who needed to have their story stolen from them -- without so much as a hat-tip! -- for the Greater Good. And now insults are piled on them to justify this.
I can't believe that an august publication like the Washington Examiner, which employs Seth Mandel, who took money too plant pro-Malaysia stories without disclosing this scheme to his readers, would countenance any kind of ethically-dubious behavior.
Report that a third tanker has been hijacked... I hear it's a Hong Kong ship. Also hearing that the British-owned ship (not the British flagged, Swedish owned ship) has been released with a "warning." So maybe they're picking on countries like Norway and Sweden that can't take the fight to them.
A friend says: "I wonder what course of action McCain would call for if he were still alive."
I'd like to think that McCain would begin an affair with his best friend's wife and break up that marriage and then divorce his cancer-ridden wife. But that's just me, I'm an incorrigible romantic!
Someone just chided me: "Don’t make jokes during the funeral. Have some taste."
Iran's hijacking British ships. Earlier they hijacked a Marshall Islands flagged ship (a US territory). But not German or French ships yet. I wonder if they're trying to split the response of the European bloc, hoping that France and Germany will continue their old support of Iran and old pattern of giving the finger to their ostensible US/UK allies.
50 years ago, Muhammed Ali wrote a letter to the parents of Mary Jo Kopechne.“Dear Mr. Kopechne, assert yourself in the interests of the good name of your daughter. Get yourself a good lawyer and sue that no good son of a bitch, Edward M. Kennedy, for everything he’s got,” [J.J. Sefton]
President of the American Vaping Association is a fan of the ONT and Misanthropic Humanitarian
Well, he's a fan of the ONT quoting him. Still -- I think that's something!
Can we start quoting Demi Rose, fellas? AIM HIGHER
Get the fainting couch for Little Benny Shapiro!
Oh wait, don't bother getting it; he's not troubled by this at all, strangely enough
Thanks to Deep State is in Deep Shit
Recent Entries
Revealed: Rashida Tlaib was Ejected from 2016 Trump Rally for Disrupting It and Acting Like a Lunatic
Online Rumors: Turkish Islamist Tyrant Erdogan Is Reported to be in Stable Condition, Because Dead is as Stable As It Gets
Paul Sperry at Real Clear Investigations: IG Horowitz is Set to Report That Comey Deliberately Lied to, Spied on President Trump, While Claiming In Congressional Testimony That There Was No Investigation Into Trump
New York Times: Jeffrey Epstein Attempted a PR Blitz to Refurbish His Image in 2013. Several Media Outfits, Including the Sanctimoniously #Woke National Review, Happily Printed This New Narrative.
Race Hoaxster and State Representative Erica Thomas Now Wants the Police to Charge the Man Who Did Not Properly Defer to His Racial Superior
SJW Called Out By... Soyboy Who's Had Enough of This Bullshit
SDNY Ends Michael Cohen Investigation With No Additional Indictments Forthcoming;
Time To Revisit The Media's "Walls Are Closing In" Coverage

You're Not Going to Believe This, But #Woke Minority Activists, Democrats, and the Media Are Pushing Another Race Hoax
The Morning Rant
Mid-Morning Art Thread
Recent Comments
Soothsayer, A Journailst and a Climate Expert: " Who can do photoshops? Comey as Alfred E Ne ..." [view]

ace: "okay well I really thought I'd be able to put up a ..." [view]

garrett: ">>Never had a desire to go to Turkey That on ..." [view]

Hoppe's: "325 Anything with Hopps in it can go get fucked. ..." [view]

Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd: "I'm pissed I missed the *shocking revelation* that ..." [view]

chavez the hugo: "grammie, daughter has spectrum. they suck satans' ..." [view]

blue horseshoe : "Remember that failed coup? Good times and many lau ..." [view]

SJW: "276 >>Will there be a worldwide ottoman shortage? ..." [view]

Carl Snook: "The army will know not to pronounce him dead of a ..." [view]

Billy Cole: "328 Now Tlaib is calling for $20/hr min wage. P ..." [view]

Turkey Tourism Dept.: "Never had a desire to go to Turkey Posted by: ..." [view]

grammie winger: "Now Tlaib is calling for $20/hr min wage. Poste ..." [view]

mnw: "The Turkish generals are hardly Erdogan fans. Pro ..." [view]

sock_rat_eez - they are gaslighting us 24/365[/i][/u][/s][/b]: "Assackley, garrett. ..." [view]

Walter Freeman: "[I]@305: "It'll be fun to find out what her campai ..." [view]


Bloggers in Arms

Talk Of The Town with Steve Noxon
American Digest
The Anchoress
Belmont Club
Betsy's Page
The Bitch Girls
Blackfive, Paratrooper of Love
Blonde Sagacity
California Conservative
Chicago Boyz
Classical Values
Cold Fury
The Country Store
Cowboy Blob
Cranky Neocon
Da Goddess
Daily Lunch
Daily Pundit
The Daily Recycler (Vidblog)*
Daleks Weblog
Daly Thoughts
Ilyka Damen
Damn the Man
Dave Munger
Dave's Not Here
Dawn Eden
Day by Day (Cartoon)
Demure Thoughts
Enter Stage Right
Eternity Road
Dean Esmay
The Fat Guy
File It Under
Ghost of a Flea
Grim's Hall
Hell in a Handbasket
Victor Davis Hanson
Hugh Hewitt
The House of Payne
JamieR (Classics)
Just One Minute
Le Sabot Post-Moderne
Lileks/The Bleat
Likelihood of Confusion Law Blog
Michelle Malkin
Memeorandum (Metablog) Mind of Mog
My Pet Jawa
Oh, That Liberal Media
Outside the Beltway
Patterico's Pontifications
The Perfect World (Discussion Forum)
The People's Cube
New Hampshire Review
Protein Wisdom
The Pundit Guy
Q & O
Riehl Worldview (Carnivorous Conservative)
Say Anything Blog
Seraphic Press
Roger L. Simon
Six Meat Buffet
Ten Fingers Six Strings
Traction Control/US Citizen
Two Crackas in My Soup
Twisted Spinster
An Unamplified Voice (Music/Opera)
Viking Pundit
The Wardrobe Door
White Pebble (Politics/Poetry)
Whitney Gaskell (Author)
Michael Williams/Master of None
Faces From Ace's
The Rogues' Gallery.
Syndicate this site (XML)

Powered by
Movable Type 2.64

« Yet Another Re-Post: The Donkey | Main | He Scored a Soccer Ball »
October 19, 2004

Are You Ready To Vote? The Ace of Spades HQ Voter Checklist

Let me remind everyone that conservative Pat Toomey lost by a fairly thin margin to liberal Arlen Specter (who of course voted to acquit Clinton based on "Scottish law" and also founded the James-Bond-hatin' evil organization SPECTER; I think he also produced some records and shot a whore or something).

After that election, I had quite a few Pennsylvania readers (no names) admit that they hadn't voted. They could have nominated a good conservative for Senator; but they chose to sit on their asses and watch fucking re-runs of Family Matters.

For crying out loud-- VOTE. It doesn't matter if you're in a safe state. There aren't any excuses. I live in New York City, and I myself have exposed myself to the risk of jury duty to actually register my ass for this one.

If I can vote in NYC, there's really no excuse for you not voting.

At any rate, you should not only vote, but you should prepare yourself to vote, just like you were supposed to do before, say, taking the SAT's. To that end, I've compiled the following checklist of things you'll want to lay out for yourself Monday, November 1st, if not earlier.

Voting Checklist:

Correct and verified directions to your actual polling place-- use MapQuest if you're not sure

Comfortable shoes, like sneakers or, say, Hush Puppies, which will give you the confidence to vote straight Evil Republican down the line

Phone numbers and emails of sluggish conservatives you know-- yell at them until they vote

Three number 2 pencils, a gum eraser, and one of those little plastic pencil sharpeners that doesn't ever fucking work anyway and just cuts the tip off your pencil

Pornographic magazines and/or "marital aids," because, as some comic once observed, standing in line can be such a fucking bore

Four six-sided dice, because you never know when some ultra-hot busty blonde is going to ask you to "roll up a character"

Crackers, preferably oyster, but honestly, it's your call

One box of wine spiked with hospital-grade codeine, just in case your wife or girlfriend tells you she's "leaning towards Barbara Boxer;" yeah, she'll be really pissed off that you drugged her, but then, no one comes off codeine in a bad mood, either

A print-out of this picture:

which is Oliver Willis, in case you didn't know; you'll want to look at that picture, and imagine that loathesome jackass giggling like a schoolgirl on November 3rd if Kerry should win

One forged, confusing butterfly ballot to hand out to old people who look like they might be voting for John Kerry (hint: look for buttons reading Arms are made for hugging or some queer Up-With-People shit like that)

Your "lucky voting shirt"

Proper ID, consisting of either a current Driver's ID or Passport, if you live in one of three jurisdictions in America where only American citizens are allowed to vote

One crisp ten (10) dollar bill, which you can discretely slip to a poll-worker as you encourage her to "Keep it honest"

Breath mints-- because there's never a second chance to make a first impression

Plenty of Eukenuba brand dog-treats, for feeding dogs of fellow Republicans as they vote; Eukenuba brand dog treats taste great, and even if they don't, who gives a shit? You're feeding them to fucking dogs, anyway. They've got to taste better than other dog-favorites, like "some other dog's dirty ass" or "my own sweaty dog-balls" or "some nasty liquid I saw on the street and I decided I just had to stick my fucking tongue into"

This MIDI file downloaded into your iPod-- do you really want to hear this fucking song Election Night? I sure the fuck don't.

Ace of Spades brand Male Hygenic Spray, for those not-so-fresh election days

Your very best homemade Star Trek and/or Tron costume, because when you vote, you want to look cool doing so

Well, that's it. Lay out all those items on your couch the day before Election Day.


posted by Ace at 04:26 AM