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120 Jonah is to relevance what Epstein is to suicide.
Posted by: guy who always loves other guys

135 Jonah is flaunting cultural norms. He should be impeached.
Posted by: Mr. Peebles
Some advice about making a sex tape
They also might help you hunt down the leaker. That seems to be Disney's bag.
Comedian Bill Burr goes off on ABC and the media for covering up for Jeffrey Epstein (who did not kill himself)
He notes that the media is very interested in "vetting" average citizens and comedians who tell wrongthink jokes, but strangely uninterested in "vetting" their rich friends banging underaged kids on Epstein's pedophile Paradise Island
via Augustine
Fake Impeachment Hearing thread
I'll keep bumping this post so that it's the second post on the page.
Fake Impeachment Hearing thread
I'll keep bumping this post so that it's the second post on the page.
The Simpsons knows the truth
This is fake, by the way. And yet-- real.
You wouldn't expect the zombie TV timewaster the Simpsons to be daring, funny, or relevant, would you?
Too hot for the Bulwark! Bulwark superstar nepot (nepots do favors for other nepots) Molly-Jong Fast writes of three "legendary" sexists, Mitch McConnell, Donald Trump, and Brett Kavanaugh
She writes at Medium. I guess not even Pierre Omidyar's money was enough to get the Bulwark Brain Trust to publish this one.
Stunning and Brave: NBC filming Zorro series, featuring a (wait for it...) gender-swapped female Zorro
Also, a new "Rocketeer" series starring a (wait for it...) gender-swapped black female Rocketeer
It's just such an original idea and it just keeps making money!!! I mean, sure, Batwahmen, Supergirl, and The Watchmen (The Wokemen) are tanking, but it's gotta work one of these days, right?
"Resident Scholar" at Koch Kindergarten AEI: Mollie Hemingway named the whistleblower in order to facilitate death threats and harassment
I know that many donors to AEI do support this bullshit -- but do they all? Maybe it's time for the smart money to leave.
And maybe it's time for Republicans to reflexively oppose anything this Koch Kindergarten pushes
Legendary hockey announcer Don Cherry (he's the Canoehead version of Vin Scully or Harry Carey) fired for.....opining that immigrants to Canada should buy a poppy to honor Canadian war dead.
“People ... come here, whatever it is, you love our way of life, you love our milk & honey. At least you can pay a couple of bucks for poppies .. These guys pay for your way of life that you enjoy in Canada. These guys pay the biggest price."

And yes, they fired him on Remembrance Day. Disgraceful. [Weirddave]
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« Ex-JAG Officer: Kerry Dishonorably Discharged | Main | Movement Towards Kerry: Terrible Harbinger or Weekend Polling? »
November 01, 2004

Ace of Spades HQ Voter Issue Guide

FANTASY FILMS

BUSH: The Lord of the Rings, especially The Two Towers; Excalibur
KERRY: The Never-Ending Story; Fahrenheit 9-11


BASES OF SUPPORT

BUSH: blue-collar workers; the American Heartland
KERRY: nine members of Woody Allen's co-op board; the Sunni Triangle


EIGHTH GRADE ROCK ANTHEM

BUSH: Destroyer, aka "Paranoia," by The Kinks
KERRY: Foolish Heart, Journey, or Steve Perry, whoever the hell is responsible for that abortion


MINOR CELEBRITY SUPPORTERS

BUSH: George Thoroughgood and at least two (2) of the Delaware Destroyers
KERRY: All six actors who played Rum-Tum-Tugger in Cats (plus their understudies and the entirety of the hair & make-up people and costumers)


REPRESENTATIVE LYRIC FROM "SPINAL TAP"

BUSH: My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo/I wanna sink her with my pink torpedo
KERRY: Listen! (shhhhhh...!) to what the Flower People say ah-AH-ahhh-AAHH-Ahhh


COMIC SUPPORTERS

BUSH: Dennis Miller, Larry Miller, Drew Carey, Colin Quinn
KERRY: Margaret Cho, Al Franken, Jeneane Garofalo, "Balky" from Perfect Strangers


KEY MOVIE QUOTE

BUSH: (from Mickey Spillaine's I, the Jury)

LOVE INTEREST, AFTER HAVING BEEN SHOT AND MORTALLY WOUNDED BY MIKE HAMMER: How... c-c-could you?

MIKE HAMMER: It was easy.

KERRY: (from The Big Chill)

GLENN CLOSE: I really want you to bang my kinda-ugly best friend and knock her up. Because, you know, we all love each other so darn much!
'

ARCHAIC MILDLY-BLASPHEMOUS MIDDLE-AGES OATH

BUSH: Zounds! (derived from "God's Wounds")
KERRY: 'Snards! (derived from "God's Nards")

(Look, I'm sorry about that one, for any who might be offended. But really, that's how they used to curse. Take it from someone who played D&D in middle school.)


OBLIGATORY STAR WARS ANALOGY

BUSH: Luke and/or Boba Fett
KERRY: Lando and/or Greedo (Greedo endorses offering only the "threat of force," which turns out to be not-such-a-hot idea)


"COUPLES SKATE" ROLLER/ICE RINK SELECTIONS

BUSH: Somebody, Bryan Adams; or I Know What Boys Want, the Waitresses
KERRY: Careless Whisper, Wham; or R-O-C-K in the USA by John Cougar "Mellencamp"


SCI-FI QUOTE REGARDING WHAT TO DO WITH DANGEROUS ALIENS

BUSH: "I say we nuke them from orbit"
KERRY: "Let's study them! Who among us can say that these vicious man-eating creatures aren't worthy of our respect, friendship, and -- dare I say -- even... love?"


ICONIC HERO

BUSH: "Mad" Max Rocatansky ("Two men enter, one man leaves")
KERRY: Dr. Smith from Lost in Space ("Dear boy! Oh, stop your cantankerous clanking, you moronic mechanical monstrosity!")


GO-TO PROP IN TRYING TO SEDUCE A WOMAN
BUSH: Cowboy boots
KERRY: Chinese Etchings


"BRAT PACK" MOVIE CHARACTERS

BUSH: Ferris Buehler; Andrew McCarthy from St. Elmo's Fire
KERRY: John "No Dad what about you?!" Bender from The Breakfast Club; James Spader from Pretty in Pink; also, curiously enough, Ducky from Pretty in Pink (he has a lot of nuance, you see)


BELOVED CHILDHOOD CARTOONS

BUSH: Ricki Tikki Tavi; A Charlie Brown Christmas
KERRY: Free to Be You and Me; The Lorax


STEVE GUTTENBERG

BUSH: Steve Guttenberg from Police Academy (you just know Bush is a fan)
KERRY: Steve Guttenberg from anything else, but especially that godawful one with Shelley Long where he has Hodgkins but poses as some sort of Australian biker "rebel"

I Just Know There's More to This Premise Update! But I'm dry. If you've got a good one, drop it in the comments, and I'll compile the best of reader-submitted comparisons later tonight.


posted by Ace at 12:58 PM