Support
Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!
Contact
Top Headlines
Muldoon: A Last Limerick
Mitt Romney, who is America's number one geopolitical foe, claims Turkey is a "small country"
Kyle Sheideler responds that he is anti-Turkey and doesn't wish them to be a part of NATO, but Mitt Romney should stick to giving gay kids haircut rapes, because Turkey has the second largest army in all of NATO, after only the US. If that's "small," what would "big" be?
When I was in Beirut, I was surprised to learn that Arabs felt insecure because there was not a single Arab great power capable of doing much more than defend its own borders (if even that). No Arab powers-- not even in the Middle East? No, I was told by a professor. There are three great powers in the Middle East, but not a single one of them is Arab. One is Israel -- obviously not Arab. One is Iran. They're Persians. And one is Turkey, who are not Arabs but Turks.
Anyway, it's strange to hear Mitt Romney, America's Number One Geopolitical Foe, get something so absurdly wrong as to call Turkey, one of the three Great Powers of the Middle East, a "small country" that we don't need to pay no mind to.
Quick funny story from Tim Pool, explaining why social media "fact-checking" is trash -- it's because they rely on trash outlets, like CNN and MSNBC (and the SPLC and Snopes!), to decide what is true and what is not true, despite CNN and MSNBC being absurdly biased and wrong more often than right.
The quick story he tells (about a minute long) is about Wikipedia's insistence that he himself "invented a zeppelin" -- something some trash outlet made up. It's not derogatory -- who wouldn't want to be credited as a zeppelin inventor? -- but it's completely false and without even a some distorted factual basis.
But no matter how many times Pool tells them "I never invented any zeppelin, you should delete that," they keep the false zeppelin-inventing biographical point, because Tim Pool is not considered a "credible source" on Tim Pool's zeppelin-inventing career or lack of same.
HuffPo says you invented a zeppelin, and who are you compared to the warriors of truth we know as HuffPo?
PBS "News" Hour "journalist" is very, very angry that Trump... posted a respectful remembrance of Elijah Cummings?
Psst, little open secret: It's the Paul Ryan types who keep PBS and NPR funded. Everything for the Suburban Wine Moms.
Video about your eyes' and brain's own color-correction function -- in other words, explaining the "What Color Is This Dress?" controversy
Even if you remember the gist of the explanation about the blue-black or white-gold dress, this video is still sort of illuminating (pun intended)
They gimmicked up another case of colors looking different to different people. This video can help you see something in ambiguous lighting in two different ways.
By the way, it worked for me.
SJW Fascist: Let's ban children's Stormtrooper costumes Because Nazi and Because Trump
This is inspired by Ivanka Trump's son wearing the costume. Now it's #problematic and must be #cancelled.
Tim Pool: YouTube is suppressing all videos which mention James O'Keefe's sting videos, imposing Chinese-style speech restrictions to make James O'Keefe officially Unmentionable and erased from all public discussion
All hail our Social Media Monopoloy Overlords. Who just happen to be working to protect Legacy Media Overlords.
Tim Pool also notes in this video that Twitter is refusing to give primary challengers a Blue Check, which the incumbents already have, delivering a huge advantage to incumbents and a big disadvantage to challengers.
Cvckshed Query: My girlfriend is going to meet her favorite niche-band rock-singer from the 90s, and then she's going to fvck him until she sees crooked and can't walk right. Am I being a dick for being upset about this?
Hmm, the letter is signed "Definitely not JG [insert Simpsons reference]."
I wonder what that cryptic hint could mean. oh well I guess we'll never know.
Vid: "Hysterical" and emotional child Greta Thunberg needs to grow up some
Someone else made this point: Greta Thunberg is a sixteen year old girl. Yet her parents insist on dressing her as if she's 8. Including the little-girl braids. Is this part of the stagecraft?
The CW's heavily-promoted Batwoman -- a character blurbed by the network as "armed with a passion for social justice and a flair for speaking her mind" -- plummets in second week ratings, becoming the CW's lowest-viewed superhero show
Supergirl, which I also hear is a #WokeFest, also tanked in ratings.
I'm going to guess all of these shows are slipping in ratings. They're just not good. Update: Yup. The Flash show dropped in ratings too.
Let's check the difference between #Woke internet reviewers and the audience at Rotten Tomatoes: 69% positive for Batwoman from #Woke Mary Sue types, 12% from the audience.
Julie Kelly discusses the impotency of the NeverTrumpers with Seb Gorka
"Three men and a fax machine" she says of Messrs. Hayes, Goldberg, and French
Of course: Fake News ABC shows Turkish propaganda video, supposedly of Turkish forces advancing, but really of live fire at a Western gun range; ABC News refuses to issue on-air correction
Yes, they distinguish between "over the airwaves" -- which is what makes them a broadcasting operation, of course, and nothing little tweet corrections on the internet, which means nothing. This is what the Twitter Addict Jake Tapper Fanbois don't get -- sure, Jake Tapper will retweet a single post about some issue that hurts the Democrat party or his precious progressive/socialist movement. But these stories rarely make it to his actual show, the thing that counts in his mind, and counts in most people's minds, really, as the "real news," as opposed to some blow-off bullshit on Twitter.
Yet Jake Tapper's Twitter Fanbois are proud of themselves for lobbying Jakey to retweet something. They're very cheat dates -- 2 am bootycalls, really -- who won't insist on a proper date. You know, out in public. Meaning, on the air.
Opinion: The media desperately campaigned for Joker to fail -- and even tried to provoke a theater shooting to discredit Joker -- because the film is largely about the failure and evil of the media
That part of the analysis starts at 7:05. It should be cued up to that part.
I don't want to spoil it for anyone, but without getting into specifics, let's just say the media is as usual very, very concerned that something might provoke violence against the media specifically -- while being blithely unconcerned, or even downright enthusiastic, about provoking violence against those outside the Media Guild.
Oh, by the way, as the media's Plan A of stirring up a theater shooting didn't work out, they're going to their Plan B -- accusing the film of being about a White Man. Which, yes, is now apparently a crime.
Monday Morning Funny: Captain MAGA [dri]
Recent Entries
ONT: Keepin' The Disgust Fresh Edition
Couple Says Russian "Child" They Adopted Is Actually an Adult Woman And Psychopathic Con Artist Who Has Tried to Kill the Wife Twice Already
Twitter Announces That It Will Begin Partially Deplatforming Donald Trump's Tweets
Surprise! Adam Schiff Staffer Met With "Impeachment Witness"
Healthy 23-Year-Old Woman Trying to Expand Belgium's Already-Loose Euthanasia Laws, Saying She Should Be Allowed to Die Because She Just Can't Even
The Soyciety Pages, Issue One
Brexit Deal Reached, But Questions About Whether Parliament Will Pass It
Governor Andrew Cuomo Uses the Full N-Word, Hard R, In Radio Interview
Megyn Kelly Returns to Fox, as a Guest on Tucker;
Talks NBC's Sexual Assault Problem

The Morning Rant: Minimalist Edition
Recent Comments
Sigmund Freud: "I read that as: *Pants Fag* Posted by: garr ..." [view]

mikeyG [/i]: "MOLON LABE ..." [view]

Ace's liver: "[i]Women who had an abortion were 34 percent more ..." [view]

Slapweasel, [b]H.M.F.I.C.[/b], Slapweasel Industries: ""[i]WTG Slap!! You're the master![/i]" -Posted by ..." [view]

IrishEi: "I want PDT to win in an epic landslide just to stu ..." [view]

...: "Women who had an abortion were 34 percent more lik ..." [view]

JROD: "The whole who is the best president thing is like ..." [view]

garrett: ">>*Plants Flag* I read that as: *Pants Fa ..." [view]

ALH: "6 Turdus Noctus, ALH? Posted by: Duncanthrax at O ..." [view]

JuJuBee, just generally being shamey: "Another schlonging https://tinyurl.com/yxhrazaj ..." [view]

FireHorse: "*long exhale* That was a really decent ONT -- w ..." [view]

filbert: "ONT is up. ..." [view]

filbert: "Did not read the content. ..." [view]

LeftCoast Dawg: " The gap between the reality-based conservative ..." [view]

redbanzai the Southerner: "Coolidge is my favorite Prez... but I would have t ..." [view]

Search


Bloggers in Arms

Talk Of The Town with Steve Noxon
American Digest
The Anchoress
Belmont Club
Betsy's Page
The Bitch Girls
BizzyBlog
Blackfive, Paratrooper of Love
Blonde Sagacity
California Conservative
Chicago Boyz
Classical Values
Cold Fury
The Country Store
Cowboy Blob
Cranky Neocon
Da Goddess
Daily Lunch
Daily Pundit
The Daily Recycler (Vidblog)*
Daleks Weblog
Daly Thoughts
Ilyka Damen
Damn the Man
Dave Munger
Dave's Not Here
Dawn Eden
Day by Day (Cartoon)
DefenseTech
Demure Thoughts
EduWonk
Enter Stage Right
Eternity Road
Dean Esmay
The Fat Guy
File It Under
FloridaCracker
Ghost of a Flea
Grim's Hall
Hell in a Handbasket
Victor Davis Hanson
Hugh Hewitt
The House of Payne
IMAO
Instapundit
Iowahawk
JamieR (Classics)
JihadWatch
Just One Minute
Kausfiles
Le Sabot Post-Moderne
Lileks/The Bleat
Likelihood of Confusion Law Blog
Michelle Malkin
Memeorandum (Metablog) Mind of Mog
My Pet Jawa
Oh, That Liberal Media
Outside the Beltway
Patterico's Pontifications
The Perfect World (Discussion Forum)
The People's Cube
New Hampshire Review
Powerline
Protein Wisdom
The Pundit Guy
Q & O
RedState
Reliapundit
Riehl Worldview (Carnivorous Conservative)
Say Anything Blog
Scrappleface
Seraphic Press
Roger L. Simon
Six Meat Buffet
Slublog
Ten Fingers Six Strings
Traction Control/US Citizen
Two Crackas in My Soup
Twisted Spinster
An Unamplified Voice (Music/Opera)
Velociworld
Viking Pundit
The Wardrobe Door
White Pebble (Politics/Poetry)
Whitney Gaskell (Author)
Michael Williams/Master of None
WizBang
Faces From Ace's
The Rogues' Gallery.
Archives
Syndicate this site (XML)

Powered by
Movable Type 2.64

Consumer Confidence at Two-Year High | Main | RNC Video Documents Kerry's Changeable Beliefs About War and Peace
July 27, 2004

Jonah Goldberg Substitutes for Coulter

Brought in as a sub for Coulter after USAToday refused to run the column they'd commissioned, Goldberg pens a screed. I know he means well, but I DON'T GET IT.

Convention week officially began with the shocking news that the wife of a little-known Midwestern governor had written a column in which she criticized the way blacks, Southerners and various Easterners speak. Christie Vilsack — who will be addressing the convention today with, no doubt, perfect diction — apparently wrote her column for something slightly more prestigious than the Food King Flier more than a decade ago.

I DON'T GET IT. WHO IS THE "FOOD KING"? IS THIS A FAT JOKE?

I'M NOT FAT, JONAH. IT'S MOSTLY WATER WEIGHT.


That this "news" rocked the convention — albeit at a fairly low setting on the Richter scale — is a cautionary tale of what happens when a party is determined to deny anything approaching news from breaking out at its convention. If the Democrats will not provide copy, the media will generate their own.

IS THIS MEANT TO BE A SHOT AT THE MEDIA? NOT FUNNY, I DON'T GET IT. THE MEDIA IS THE MOST IMPORTANT AND MOST IDEALISTIC INSTITUTION IN AMERICA.

DID YOU MEAN "RNC" INSTEAD OF MEDIA? THAT JOKE MAKES MORE SENSE TO ME.

Still, one must give them credit; this promises to be the most disciplined Democratic convention ever — which normally would be akin to saying you've found the world's tallest midget.

MAKES NO SENSE. MIDGETS ARE NOT TALL. IF THEY ARE TALL, THEY ARE NOT, BY DEFINITION, MIDGETS.

ARE YOU BEING SARCASTIC? IF SO, YOU SURE LOST ME.

...

Kerry's waxing philosophic about how life begins at conception, but the activists still wear abortion-on-demand buttons.

I DON'T GET IT. ARE YOU SUGGESTING SOME INCONSISTENCY? YOU'LL HAVE TO SPELL IT OUT FOR ME.

BETTER YET, DELETE IT ENTIRELY. I KNOW COMEDY, AND THIS ISN'T FUNNY.

YOU KNOW WHO'S FUNNY? THE SMOTHERS BROTHERS. THE YO-YO MAKES ME LAUGH.
...

The irony, of course, is that Kerry is, in fact, far more simpatico with the delegates than any Democratic nominee has been since at least Walter Mondale and perhaps George McGovern — that is, if you go by something as trivial as the senator's actual voting record. Besides, even if Kerry weren't the most liberal senator in the United States — and from perhaps the most liberal state — when we elect presidents, we also elect their parties to staff the government.

IS THIS SARCASTIC? JOHN KERRY IS A MODERATE. I SUGGEST CHANGING REFERENCES TO "LIBERAL" TO "MODERATE" OR "CENTRIST" OR "CENTRIST, COMMON-SENSE PATRIOTIC WAR-HERO MODERATE."

THE JOKE WILL WORK BETTER THAT WAY, I THINK. THE BEST JOKES ARE THE ONES THAT "REALLY MAKE YOU THINK."

Howard Dean is already throwing things at effigies of Bush, Cheney & Co. and popping the veins in his neck as if he's just about to turn into the Hulk.

WHO IS "HULK"?

USATODAY STYLE-BOOK SAYS FIRST REFERENCE TO PERSONS SHOULD BE PRECEDED BY FORMAL TITLE. I WILL CHANGE TO "MR. HULK."

BUT I DON'T REALLY GET THE JOKE.

YOU KNOW WHO ELSE IS FUNNY? MARK RUSSELL. HE SINGS FUNNY SONGS ABOUT POLITICS.

Never underestimate the ability of Democrats to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

NOT FUNNY. I DON'T GET IT. AND I'M NOT COMFORTABLE WITH A "SNATCH" JOKE.

MIGHT I SUGGEST THIS RE-WRITE:

THE DEMOCRATS WILL WIN IN NOVEMBER BECAUSE THEY'RE THE PARTY OF IDEAS, OPTIMISM, WISDOM AND HOPE.

MAYBE YOU CAN WORK IN SOME SORT OF "MAN FROM HOPE" PUN. THAT WILL KEEP THEM IN STITCHES.

STITCHES, I TELL YOU.


posted by Ace at 02:56 PM