Ace of Spades HQ

« Top-Ten Best of Ace, #10: "You're Fired!" | Main | Top Ten Best of Ace, #8: A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates »

December 30, 2004

Top Ten Best of Ace, #9: The Fire Quadrology

It turns out that, over the year, certain people suddenly caught fuckin' fire. I was pretty much the only blogger to notice and properly document this incindiary phenomenon.

First, Bob Dole caught fuckin' fire, after pinning back Kerry's ears for suggesting that the SwiftVets weren't entitled to tell their story. And boy did he burn.

The strange combustions continued. Zell Miller caught fuckin' fire on live television at the Republican National Convention.

And then stranger still, Pat Sajak -- Pat Sajak! -- penned a strong conservative opinion column and was confirmed to have, in fact, caught on fuckin' fire.

And then, of course, strangest of all came the curious combustion of Charles Schumer, who caught fuckin' fire while telling a peacenic professor to drink a nice tall glass of shut-the-fuck-up juice.

posted by Ace at 02:23 PM

| Access Comments


Advertise Here! Intermarkets' Privacy Policy Support Donate to Ace of Spades HQ! Contact Ace: aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com Buck: buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com CBD: cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com joe mannix: mannix2024 at proton.me MisHum: petmorons at gee mail.com J.J. Sefton: sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com Recent Entries ONT Leo XIV Water Hazard Cafe Quick Hits After Democrat Senators Tillis, Cassidy, Collins, Murkowski, McConnell, and Linsdsey Graham Balk, Trump Withdraws Ed Martin from Consideration for US Attorney from DC Asked About His Steep Cognitive Decline on Propaganda Yenta Show The View, Biden Babbles Incoherently and Needs His Wifenurse to Step In Bernie Sanders on Using Expensive Private Jets -- Paid for by Billionaire Pals -- While "Fighting the Oligarchy:" "You Want Me to Wait in Line at United With 30,000 People?" Mark Halperin: A Source "Very Familiar With the Bidens" Tells Me That Biden, Inc. Is Going Broke as the Graft Spigots Have All Been Turned Off American Pope Elected, Robert F. Prevost; He's Addressing the Crowd The Indian Army Announces the Death of the Pakistani Terrrorist Who Beheaded American Journalist Daniel Pearl The Morning Rant: Minimalist Edition Absent Friends Jim Sunk New Dawn 2025 Jewells45 2025 Bandersnatch 2024 GnuBreed 2024 Captain Hate 2023 moon_over_vermont 2023 westminsterdogshow 2023 Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022 Dave In Texas 2022 Jesse in D.C. 2022 OregonMuse 2022 redc1c4 2021 Tami 2021 Chavez the Hugo 2020 Ibguy 2020 Rickl 2019 Joffen 2014 AoSHQ Writers Group A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info: maildrop62 at proton dot me Cutting The Cord And Email Security Cutting The Cord [Joe Mannix (not a cop)] Cutting The Cord: It's Easier Than You Think [Blaster] Private Email and Secure Signatures [Hogmartin] Moron Meet-Ups PNW 2025 05/10/2025 Yakima WA Contact Mark Andrew Edwards for info NoVaMoMe 2025: 06/21/2025 Arlington, VA Contact Weasel and Bluebell for info Texas MoMe 2025: 10/17/2025-10/18/2025 Corsicana,TX Contact Ben Had for info	« Top-Ten Best of Ace, #10: "You're Fired!" \| Main \| Top Ten Best of Ace, #8: A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates » December 30, 2004 Top Ten Best of Ace, #9: The Fire Quadrology It turns out that, over the year, certain people suddenly caught fuckin' fire. I was pretty much the only blogger to notice and properly document this incindiary phenomenon. First, Bob Dole caught fuckin' fire, after pinning back Kerry's ears for suggesting that the SwiftVets weren't entitled to tell their story. And boy did he burn. The strange combustions continued. Zell Miller caught fuckin' fire on live television at the Republican National Convention. And then stranger still, Pat Sajak -- Pat Sajak! -- penned a strong conservative opinion column and was confirmed to have, in fact, caught on fuckin' fire. And then, of course, strangest of all came the curious combustion of Charles Schumer, who caught fuckin' fire while telling a peacenic professor to drink a nice tall glass of shut-the-fuck-up juice. posted by Ace at 02:23 PM \| Access Comments <script language="javascript" src="http://adserver.adtechus.com/addyn/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=700;cookie=info;target=_blank;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]"></script><noscript><a href="http://adserver.adtechus.com/adlink/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=300;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]" target="_blank"><img src="http://adserver.adtechus.com/adserv/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=300;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]" border="0" width="300" height="250"></a></noscript>	Recent Comments Soothsayer and five yamulkas walk into a bar: " [i]A mis-spelling one time to 'Cold Cuts' and it ..." Miklos is Dissapoint: "Nice guy. Posted by: Kindltot "his" So. ..." rhomboid: "Will be watching the Victor Day happenings on Red ..." RedMindBlueState[/i][/b][/s][/u]: "Posted by: JackStraw at May 08, 2025 09:28 PM ..." FenelonSpoke ( give a genuine e compliment to two people today): "Posted by: kallisto at May 08, 2025 09:39 PM (SCfS ..." The Paolo: "If someone, a long time ago, was clever, they woul ..." rhomboid: ""Including one sailor and a very kissable nurse." ..." Kindltot: "Fenelon, the rule is "everyone eats kimchi or some ..." Puddleglum at work: "Kielbasa, cabbage, onions, peppers, tomatoes. Cook ..." Paolo: "Regular or thick cut? Posted by: RickZ You ar ..." We Must Not Allow A Mineshaft gp!: "459 I remember an AoSHQ phase, so long ago, when e ..." Hour of the Wolf: "They're putting jokes on the back of bacon package ..." Recent Entries ONT Leo XIV Water Hazard Cafe Quick Hits After Democrat Senators Tillis, Cassidy, Collins, Murkowski, McConnell, and Linsdsey Graham Balk, Trump Withdraws Ed Martin from Consideration for US Attorney from DC Asked About His Steep Cognitive Decline on Propaganda Yenta Show The View, Biden Babbles Incoherently and Needs His Wifenurse to Step In Bernie Sanders on Using Expensive Private Jets -- Paid for by Billionaire Pals -- While "Fighting the Oligarchy:" "You Want Me to Wait in Line at United With 30,000 People?" Mark Halperin: A Source "Very Familiar With the Bidens" Tells Me That Biden, Inc. Is Going Broke as the Graft Spigots Have All Been Turned Off American Pope Elected, Robert F. Prevost; He's Addressing the Crowd The Indian Army Announces the Death of the Pakistani Terrrorist Who Beheaded American Journalist Daniel Pearl The Morning Rant: Minimalist Edition Search Search this site: Polls! Polls! Polls! Frequently Asked Questions What is the Deal with the Cowbell? Why is the Ace of Spades called "the Death Card"? The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick Primary Document: The Audio Paul Anka Haiku Contest Announcement Integrity SAT's: Entrance Exam for Paul Anka's Band AllahPundit's Paul Anka 45's Collection AnkaPundit: Paul Anka Takes Over the Site for a Weekend (Continues through to Monday's postings) George Bush Slices Don Rumsfeld Like an Fckin' Hammer Top Top Tens Democratic Forays into Erotica New Shows On Gore's DNC/MTV Network Nicknames for Potatoes, By People Who Really* Hate Potatoes Star Wars Euphemisms for Self-Abuse Signs You're at an Iraqi "Wedding Party" Signs Your Clown Has Gone Bad Signs That You, Geroge Michael, Should Probably Just Give It Up Signs of Hip-Hop Influence on John Kerry NYT Headlines Spinning Bush's Jobs Boom Things People Are More Likely to Say Than "Did You Hear What Al Franken Said Yesterday?" Signs that Paul Krugman Has Lost His Frickin' Mind All-Time Best NBA Players, According to Senator Robert Byrd Other Bad Things About the Jews, According to the Koran Signs That David Letterman Just Doesn't Care Anymore Examples of Bob Kerrey's Insufferable Racial Jackassery Signs Andy Rooney Is Going Senile Other Judgments Dick Clarke Made About Condi Rice Based on Her Appearance Collective Names for Groups of People John Kerry's Other Vietnam Super-Pets Cool Things About the XM8 Assault Rifle Media-Approved Facts About the Democrat Spy Changes to Make Christianity More "Inclusive" Secret John Kerry Senatorial Accomplishments John Edwards Campaign Excuses John Kerry Pick-Up Lines Changes Liberal Senator George Michell Will Make at Disney Torments in Dog-Hell Greatest Hitjobs The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny More Margaret Cho Abuse Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed" Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means Wonkette's Stand-Up Act Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report! Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet The House of Love: Paul Krugman A Michael Moore Mystery (TM) The Dowd-O-Matic! Liberal Consistency and Other Myths Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate "Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long) The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Syndicate this site (XML) Powered by Movable Type 2.64