Sponsored Content
No Cowbell on Friday? | Main | Mad Jealousy Alert
September 02, 2004

Top Ten Signs That Zell Miller is On Frickin' Fire

10. Just had his bicep tattooed with slogan, Beef: It's What's For Dinner

9. Has demanded an apology from Sting for his misleading and alarmist claims about the rainforests; also has demanded an apology for Dream of the Blue Turtles and Dune

8. Bob Dole, previously believed to be on fire, has stopped referring to his cock in the third person, and now refers to Zell Miller's cock in the third person, as in "Bob Dole says you can trust Zell Miller's cock" and "Bob Dole promises that Zell Miller's cock will cut your taxes"

7. Has finally confronted the historic pattern of Democratic appeasement and weakness by challenging this pattern to a duel

6. After his confrontational interview, he put Chris Matthews in a pink party-dress and then rode him like a Big Wheel; not in a gay way, mind you, but rather like a Viking

5. Just signed contract to take on The Undertaker and Mick Foley under new WWF guise of "Senator Smackdown"

4. Six Words: The Delicious Tears of Paul Begala

3. His limousine suspiciously resembles the "Delta Death Machine" from Animal House, except the styling isn't as subtle

2. Old Zell Miller nickname: "The Conscience of the Democratic Party"
New Zell Miller style nickname: "Z Diddy"

…and the Number One Sign that Zell Miller is on Frickin' Fire…

1. The Navy just awarded John Kerry his first legitimate Purple Heart

Credit That's Overdue: The "like a Viking" line, which I've used before, is actually stolen from Son of Nixon, who's also (of course) got some thoughts about Senator Zell Miller.

I told him to name his blog "Like a Viking." He didn't, so now it's just out there for the stealing.

Update: Frank Luntz's Cincinnati, Ohio focus group of independent-minded, politically-moderate, persuadable undecideds -- morons, in other words -- were more inclined to vote for Bush after the one-two Miller-Cheney combination.

Good. We'll take morons.

digg this
posted by Ace at 03:49 PM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
micky: "twitter hearing is back btw ..."

Methos: "The only story I want to hear about Fauci is when ..."

mikethemoose: "Science says but one goal, advance human knowledge ..."

micky: "What libsoftiktok does is completely lost on AOC o ..."

Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden: "[i]In rare cases, the varicella zoster virus can a ..."

SFGoth: "The Thai take their royal family seriously. ..."

Puddihead: "326 A big New Zealand study reveals high rates of ..."

Ian S.: "[i]Explains why California is serf city.[/i] An ..."

18-1: "[i]Ah yes. COVID-19 and COVID vaxxine activated sh ..."

Auspex: " Newly naturalized Russian Steven Seagal returns ..."

[/i] [/s] [/u] [/b]An Observation sez China Joe not my president: "Mucousal reproduction. Now you know why swabbing t ..."

gnats local 678: "thanks to a couple of you, i get it: our violenc ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64