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HBO Max Announces They'll Be Remaking All the Harry Potter Movies as a Strictly-Faithful-to-the-Books TV Series That Could Go On for Ten Years;
Trans Extremists Shriek
| Main | Quick Hits
April 13, 2023

LOL: Anheuser Busch Throws Fratty Millennial VP Under the Bus, Stating That "No One on a Senior Level" Was Aware of the "Mistake" of Making Dylan Mulvaney the Surgically Altered Face (and Surgically Unaltered Penis) of Bud Light

Come on, you know this ditz wasn't able to make this call on her own authority.

But whatever, it is time to make her Fall On Her Sword.

Megyn Kelly actually predicted she'd be fired yesterday or the day before. I thought she was wrong.

But... once you start throwing blame around like this, it seems like an exit is inevitable for any disgraced employee, except of course Don LeMon.

Is this the Woke Dien Bien Phu? Or the Woke Tet Offensive?

I don't know, I don't do historical analogies.

No one at a senior level' was aware Bud Light had made the 'mistake' of partnering with trans influencer Dylan Mulvaney - as parent company Anheuser-Busch loses $6BN in six days

Partnership with trans influencer Mulvaney has proved disastrous for Bud Light

Sources claim the company's senior executives were unaware of the campaign

READ MORE: Woman sets her Nike sports bra alight in 'Burn Bra Challenge' on TikTok as the gymwear giant faces boycott over Mulvaney partnership

By David Averre

The polarizing marketing partnership between beer giant Bud Light and trans influencer Dylan Mulvaney was launched without approval from senior executives of parent company Anheuser-Busch (AB), according to a new report.

...

[B]ehind the scenes at AB, 'no one at a senior level' was aware of the partnership that has now dominated headlines for weeks, and the decision to include Mulvaney in the campaign was taken by a 'low-level marketing staffer,' two sources close to the situation told The Daily Wire.

That claim comes despite the attention on Bud Light's VP of marketing, Alissa Heinerscheid, for her remarks in an interview days before the Mulvaney partnership, saying she wanted to trade the brand's 'fratty' reputation for 'inclusivity'.

But according to an insider cited by the Daily Wire, the partnership was undertaken by 'some low-level marketing staffer who helps manage the hundreds of influencer engagements they do.

Oh wait, they're not throwing Heinersheid under the bus, but sone unnamed "low-level marketing staffer"?

I guess they won't be firing the Fratty Ditz.

Hey guys -- I guess it was some low-level staffers in the Cincinnati office who did it all.

Again!

I wonder if -- when C-suite corporate types or bureaucrats get caught with their dicks in someone who's not their wife -- they say, "Honey, this isn't my dick in my secretary's mouf, this is the dick of a low-level staffer in the Cincinnati office."

'It was a mistake,' the person added. DailyMail.com has contacted AB for comment. Mulvaney's April 1 Instagram post saw the influencer showing off commemorative cans

...

Amid the backlash, AB's market capitalization has dropped nearly $6billion in the past 10 days, a decline of nearly 5 percent, and the company continues to remain silent save for a short statement confirming the partnership.

That statement said the parent company supported Bud Light's decision to work with Mulvaney, who ballooned to internet stardom over the past year.

'Anheuser-Busch works with hundreds of influencers across our brands as one of many ways to authentically connect with audiences across various demographics,' the statement read.

'From time to time, we produce unique commemorative cans for fans and for brand influencers, like Mulvaney. This commemorative can was a gift to celebrate a personal milestone and is not for sale to the general public.'

Their doubling down only served to enrage customers more - and likely played some part in Anheuser-Busch's recent market woes.

From DB.

Meanwhile, 19th-level memesmith Carpe Donktum trolls prog trogs, claiming he's a third grade teacher who preaches to his students about Jesus, but tells them not to tell mom and dad!

Just our little secret!

Oh, and he secretly baptizes some in the sink, performing Secret (Religious) Transitions.

Carpe Donktum @CarpeDonktum

As a 3rd grade teacher, I often talk about Jesus with my students, they are so excited to hear about my faith. They point to the cross on wall and ask me about the resurrection.

Some have gotten baptized in the sink, as long as they don't tell their parents. It's our secret.

I hope this doesn't get me fired, please don't share this to libs.

Carpe Donktum @CarpeDonktum

There has been a lot of interest from my students about circumcision but unfortunately I haven't been able to find a surgeon willing to do these spirit affirming surgeries anonymously.

If anyone in the Kansas City area knows anyone willing to help save these kids, let me know.

Carpe Donktum @CarpeDonktum

For some of my kids, it isn't enough to know who they are in Christ on the INSIDE, they want it to be visible to everyone.

I have helped many of my 3rd graders get cross and Jesus tattoos and you wouldn't believe how excited they are to finally feel right in their own skin.

Carpe Donktum @CarpeDonktum

It's confusing for some of these kids when the person they are inside doesn't match who they are on the outside.

I have a dress up box with priestly robes and WWJD bracelets that they are free to use to try out their new identity in Christ.

Carpe Donktum @CarpeDonktum

Our school counselor is also a devout Christian and has started offering spiritually affirming care, where students can open up about their faith without the judgment of parents.

Many of these kids can't talk to their parents about the transformation Christ did in their heart.

Carpe Donktum @CarpeDonktum

At the beginning of every year, I give each student a gospel of their own to read at school. For some of these kids, I was the first person they came out to as Christian. Even their parents don't know. A few of my students take communion here because their parents don't allow it







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