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April 13, 2023
Quick HitsBreaking news: Femmy slapcock gets all emotional and hysterical. I think we've found a competitive field where women have an advantage over men. Caution, TikTok video. Young women talk up how great Kamala Harris is, and then lapse into awkward silence when they're asked what specific accomplishments of hers they find so inspiring. Ladies and Gentlemen: You have been duly Served. Joe Biden got all excited from that video of the Dalai Lama telling a little boy to suck hi tongue. "Let's go lick the world," he tells baffled onlookers in Ireland. Papa Ice Cream struggled to follow the complicated ideas being expressed by Irish children. MR. HUNTER BIDEN: In the back. He's got a question. Biden is such a Sure Hand at the Tiller of State -- just like Never Trump promised us-- that an ally, the PM of Northern Ireland, had to specifically warn him not to engage in his usual casual ethnic slurs that supposedly make him "folksy" by stirring up conflict in the strife-plagued province. You have to tell Joe Biden specifically not to begin attacking Protestants and loyalist inhabitants of Northern Ireland or else he might just start a war to sound "folksy." President Joe Biden needs to be on best behavior during his visit to Northern Ireland and avoid making any anti-British gaffes that could further derail the region's deadlocked political system, according to one of the province's MPs. Thanks, NeverTrump! America is back, baby! By the way, Biden's Society of Geniuses is up to their usual standards of unimpeachable excellence. Police investigating security breach around President Biden's Northern Ireland visit after sensitive documents found in street My book, What Are We Talking About Here?: The Wit and Wisdom of Joe Biden, will be released as a prestige-format paperback by Penguin Classics ("If it's old and stupid, it's Penguin!") in 2024.
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