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May 22, 2020

Is This Something?

The new trailer for Christopher Nolan's Tenet, which, as the palindronomic name is intended to suggest, is about spies with the ability to reverse time. Over short periods, seems like -- seconds to minutes.

I really don't understand how this is supposed to work -- I don't mean the technobabble explanation, I mean, I don't understand what this is meant to accomplish --but I guess they're keeping that a mystery.

It might seem strange to be talking about a movie. Do they even release movies anymore?

Well, that's the whole question -- one which Tenet may or may not answer.

Supposedly Tenet will be released -- in theaters -- July 17, and Warner Bros. is preparing to do just that.

But they might not. Warner Bros. wants to see at least 80% of theaters open by that date.

And if 80% of the theaters aren't open by then, Tenet will join many other movies in delaying its release until Christmas or later.

Hereís what we know at this time: solid sources hear that Warner Bros needs at least 80% of the worldís theaters to be open, including New York, Los Angeles, and San Francisco (which rep 25% of a picís opening weekend), in order to keep Tenet on its original release date.

If such signs donít appear positive in the next three weeks or sooner, Tenet moves.

In fact, this won't just be about whether Tenet opens -- Hollywood sees Tenet as a test case. If Tenet can open and make money, then maybe they'll try releasing more movies this summer.

If not, they shut down and won't try again until... Christmas.

Well they say Christmas, but I imagine they mean Thanksgiving.

From the Washington Post (no link for propaganda organs):

The studio is pressing ahead with release plans for "Tenet," the mysterious and much-anticipated new movie from "Inception" director and proven moneymaker Christopher Nolan. Executives are making plans to open the movie widely across the United States as scheduled on July 17 amid the ongoing spread of the coronavirus. They're going through all the paces of a big summer release despite many reasons a successful rollout may not be remotely possible.

At stake, say entertainment players and analysts, is nothing short of the nation's preeminent form of public entertainment.

"If 'Tenet' doesnít come out or doesn't succeed, every other company goes home,Ē said a marketing executive from a rival studio who spoke on the condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to speak to the press. "Itís no movies until Christmas."

Honestly, going without new movies, which are almost all complete shit, is at the very bottom of my list of covid complaints.

Here's a legit question, and not just one of those stupid questions they ask on the internet to increase engagement:

Assuming you want to see this movie, or any movie -- maybe Wonder Woman 84 -- would you go to a theater if they were open in July/August, or would you say, "Not worth the risk, not worth the hassle, I'll wait 3-6 months for PPV"?

Even assuming that we're less worried about strangers breathing near us by July 17 -- I think my general feeling of being skeeved out by people has been permanently increased. I never loved being in close proximity to strangers. And even if I'm not consciously worried about covid, I'm going to see strangers as bags of hot breath, sweat, and disease.

Do I want to sit in chairs that other people have just been farting into for two hours? Nah.

Of all the things I'd like to do when we reopen, going to a physical theater is very low on my list. It's not on my list at all. I think I'm done with physical theaters, virus or no virus.

I would like to see Tenet, but I think I'll take a pass on the theatrical exibition.

And if that hurts Hollywood, well, I'll just have to live with that pain.

Related: Hollywood is thinking about reopening production on new projects-- and wondering what it will cost to be Covid Compliant.

Here's Tyler Perry's plans for restarting his BET shows:

He'll test the cast and his "drastically" scaled back Atlanta-based crew when they arrive at the studio and before they begin production, and four more times during the two-and-a-half-week shoots for each show. Everyone on the set will wear protective masks, and group scenes will be held until after the fourth day on set, when everyone has been tested again. Meals will be served in different "catering pods" on the largest soundstage to maximize social distancing. Perry will fly out-of-town cast members in on his private plane, and, since the studio is a decommissioned U.S. Army compound, everyone working on the production will live on campus.


Not everyone is on board with the idea of going back into production before there is medicinal treatment or a vaccine for COVID-19. One director of a studio movie that was in pre-production when everything shut down thinks such plans are irresponsible. The filmmaker, who spoke to Variety under the condition of anonymity, resents that he was sent to scout locations in March when it was clear to him that the world was in a pandemic, and he thinks any plan to restart is ludicrous. "A movie canít work with masks and social distancing -- everyone is all over each other all the time," he says. "To not face that, either youíre in denial or youíre ignorant, or youíre pretending to not know so the company isn't liable."

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posted by Ace at 03:56 PM

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