Thanks for the Concern and Well-Wishes, and I'm Sorry I Got Defensive

I realize that two sentences that do not really go well together are Hey, my ignorance combined with my arrogance almost got me killed and Don't tell me what to do, I know exactly what I'm doing! YOU DON'T KNOW MY LIFE!!!

Yet, I sort of put them together, didn't I?

I don't think I made this clear enough: Every few blood tests, I've been told I had elevated BUN/Creatinine levels (which usually indicates dehydration or kidney stress). And this predated any multiday fasting.

This has been a persistent thing I've seen in blood tests. It's never so bad the doctor makes it a major point of discussion, because it was just a bit high (like, the fourth thing they would mention), but I've frequently been counseled that my BUN/creatinine levels were high, but they're nothing to get too worried about (assuming that I started drinking more water).

Of course, that assumption frequently has failed, because I'm just in the habit of choosing something with caffeine over the Vile Swill you call water.

So I just know that I've frequently been dehydrated, and this is a chronic recurring problem for me.

Certainly running on a hot day exacerbated this. Certainly I should never have taken that potassium chloride without even re-checking the recommended dosage. (I just sort of spaced as I was doing it.)

And certainly it's possible I dehydrated myself during my last fast, and never fully re-hydrated.

But then, that was seventeen days before this more severe bout of dehydration: If I had been in the habit of drinking water and keeping hydrated, I would have fixed any dehydration that occurred within days.

Instead, I just thoughtlessly went back to my old habit of drinking lots of coffee and coke zero instead of water.

There was no conscious choice in this. Previously, I had been consciously drinking less caffeine and more water -- consciously. The minute my brain stopped focusing on that, I slipped into a bad old habit, like Barack Obama into Reggie Love.

Anyway, I appreciate your concern and I do get the main message you were sending: Be careful, be healthy. It's a nice to hear such warm messages.

But I actually haven't fasted since seventeen days before, so I don't really understand how that can be called a major factor, even an indirect one, in getting dehydrated. Two and a half weeks is plenty of time to re-hydrate properly -- assuming you are actually hydrating properly.

Which I wasn't.

That's why I'm pretty insistent on the point that the problem wasn't not eating seventeen days ago, but instead not drinking enough water -- and compounding that with potassium chloride, which, a nurse tells me, actually puts more strain on the kidneys)) -- in the past week or two.

Just seems to me that the more proximate explanation is the right one.

That said, I do appreciate that you care enough to try to get me to stop being so stupid.

And I was pretty stupid. I'm not arguing that. No one's arguing that. Every past employer would affirm that I am definitely stupid.

I think our disagreement is about the precise ways in which I am stupid. (And there are a lot of such ways to talk about.)

As I mentioned, I was pretty conscious of water intake during my fast, because I had read so much about the dangers of not drinking enough water. (By the way, though: I think even when I was consciously trying to drink more water, I was only drinking as much as a regular person should, and not enough for someone on a fast -- my idea of "a lot of water" is still too little water.)

After the fast -- or rather, after two or three days of post-fast caution when I was still consciously drinking more water -- I basically said "Water is for p***ies, fish f@ck in it" and really lowered my intake without being conscious of doing so. It was just a choice I was making -- or a choice I was not making, as I was just going by thoughtless habit -- one drink at a time.

Having hit the deck with a glass of the water I needed in my damn hand, I'm now a lot more aware that "Drink more water" isn't something you just say on a blog. It's something I should actually do.

But seriously, thank you for the concern. I realize I did something very, very stupid -- one doesn't wind up on a gurney with his forearms stuck full of IV needles and not come to a few realizations about Certain Decisions one has made in the recent past.

This whole Drink-Coke-Zero-Not-Water is a problem habit I've had for -- what age do I claim I am? Almost 29 right? -- going on almost 20 years. I guess it's time I grow up, put almost-29 things aside, and accept that one day in the future, hypothetically, I may well be a 30 year old adult.

BTW, the potassium chloride is now locked away. I should throw it out, but I'm a pack-rat, so right now it's just in an inaccessible place, so I won't be tempted to just free-hand add it to a smoothie or something.

Look: I never really got healthy before. This is all kind of new to me. I'm going to make a lot of mistakes along the way.

Like the time I had too much MCT oil too quickly and shat my britches.

I didn't know too much MCT oil before you're used to it could really loosen things up down there.

Now I'm older, wiser, and minus one pair of really nice shorts.*

* No I'm not, I just rinsed them in the sink and put them right back in the drawer.

Still, the shorts are tainted, and I think less of myself whenever I wear them out. **

** No I don't. I couldn't even tell you which shorts they were at this point. I might even be proud to be wearing the poop britches. Every new car takes a ding or two, right? Give it character.

Doesn't mean you sell it for scrap. You just buff the ding out and drive on.***

*** Or you just teach yourself to not see it. Easier just to do that.

Open Thread.

posted by Ace at 08:49 PM

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