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September 03, 2010

Overnight Open Thread

Hurricane “My Name is Earl” edition

O hai! It’s Friday again. And once again we’re cooped up here together in this Godforsaken thread. Well, you freaks are. As soon as I hit “publish” I’m running for the exit at top speed and locking it from the outside. What you do to yourselves and each other within the confines of the thread is of little concern to me. I’ll sleep comfortably tonight knowing that the world is a much safer place without any of you roaming the streets. Just be grateful I didn't fire the place on my way out.

Le Hurricane

Is Earl still a 'cane or has it been downgraded to a big sloppy wet kiss of a tropical storm? If you're on the scene, now's your chance to become the next Dan Rather and provide us with some live, yet drunken, updates on the storm.

As we all (don't) know, Mr. Rather first gained fame by his live reportage of Hurricane Carla which hit Galveston in 1961. This was many years prior to his transformation into the shadowy figure we now know as "Kenneth," as the following video documents:

More sordid and unseemly crap below the fold...


Actual Headline: "Butts Arrested in Boobs Murder Case"

Yeah, I'm gonna' regret posting this since it's like catnip plus meth to you sub-morons. But I'd be remiss if I didn't.

"POTTER TOWNSHIP, CENTRE COUNTY - Police have arrested a third person in connection with the murder of Samuel Boob."

"Boob was shot and killed at his home in Potter Township, Centre County, on the morning of August 23rd, 2009."

"Kermit Butts, 26, of Madisonburg, is accused of driving the suspected killer to and from the crime scene on the morning of the killing. He was charged with aggravated assault and assisting a murder suspect and placed in the Centre County Prison."

Butt hey, why not? It's not as if I enjoy being called into Ace's office at 8 a.m. Monday mornings to "discuss" my future employment at the HQ. But I do it for you. And to you. Thanks (I guess) to Pocono Joe for the tip.

Sometimes being rescued really isn't worth the price

I'm gonna' recycle the post I did way early this morning about the Chilean mine thingy. Because I'm lazy, that's why. Plus it's more suited for the ONT:

Looks like the projected four-month-long rescue effort of the trapped Chilean miners is about to turn into a reality teevee show. Per The Sydney Morning Herald:

"One of the trapped Chilean miners is going to have some explaining to do after his wife ran into his mistress at the mine's entrance.

Britain's Sun newspaper reports the wife of Yonni Barrios was stunned and upset to find his girlfriend also conducting a vigil for him."

Upon hearing this news, Mr. Barrios issued the following statement:

"Really, now that I think about it, there's no need for any kind of rescue. In fact, it's quite comfortable down here. Yep, I could stay down here as long as possible. No real need to come up to the surface, is there?"

Tonight's ONT is sponsored by broken computer monitors.

(Gawd bless 'im, I love the little bugger. He never lets me down.)

Also, Drunken Kitteh sez "Oh Hai!" Well, he will when he sobers up.

Notice: Posted by permission of AceCorp LLC. Please e-mail overnight open thread tips to xgenghisx@gmail.com. Otherwise send tips to Ace.

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posted by Genghis at 10:15 PM

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