New Criminal Defense: It's not me...

it's my little itty bitty titties.

Now, I haven't followed the whole Madelynn McCann case. As callous as it sounds, I just don't care one whit about this case. Yes, it is tragic that an innocent little girl has apparently fallen victim to some sort of foul play. But when it gets to speculating about whether she was sold to Arab slave traders, or killed by her parents, or moved to Paradise Island to be raised by Natalie Holloway and a bunch of Amazons, I. just. don't. care.

But I may have to rethink my position about what happens to the children of foreigners I'll never meet at vacation locations I have no interest in going to. That's because the on-again, off-again suspect (Kate McCann) has offered a wonderful defense straight out of a L'Oreal commercial:

"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful my breasts are small."

The mother of missing British 4-year-old Madeleine McCann believes she's being persecuted because of her looks, and thinks that if she "had a bigger bosom and looked more maternal, people would be more sympathetic," a London newspaper reported Tuesday.

The parents of Kate McCann, in a remarkable interview in the Liverpool Daily Post, said their daughter "feels persecuted, not by the general public who have been extremely supportive, but by some sections of the media."

Hmmmm.....this deserves a closer inspection.

In case you couldn't tell by their chests, she's the one on the right.

What do you think, True Crime afficionados. Does her defense hold milk water? Is she a victim of her underdeveloped mammary glands? Would you be less likely to think she was Patti Ramsey with a British accent if she had hooters?

Make me interested in this case, morons. Put me some f'n knowledge in the comments.

posted by Jack M. at 03:33 PM

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