Best of Ace, #4: Exposing Bill Burkett | Main | That Sounds About Right: Opponents of the Death Penalty Murder 23 People in "Protest"
January 02, 2005

Best of Ace, #3: Various Slap-Ups of John F'n' Kerry

Kind of a cheat here, but there were a couple of fun Kerry posts which, in aggregate, should be in the top ten.

A Vile Attack on John Kerry's Character Which I Cannot Abide, in which I express my Andrew-Sullivan-level outrage at the suggestion that Kerry was drunk giving his post-RNC midnight rally, even though, hey, look at the tape, he clearly was.

The suggestion was gob-smackingly vile. As was my constant re-referencing of that suggestion. As well as my own suggestion that maybe John Kerry was, in fact, a shaved-down mutant bear.

I still feel "sickened" and filled with "heart-ache" over this loathesome post.

Equally appalling and disgusting was my suggestion that John Kerry might just be some sort of Bigfoot. There's a top-ten documenting the Michael-Moore-level evidence and everything.

When John Kerry announced he was "fascinated" by rap and hip-hop, it inspired one of my all-time favorite top tens, the Top Ten Influences Hip Hop Has Had on Senator John F. Kerry of Beacon Hill.

And when John Kerry told his delightful little fabrication about "VC," supposedly a beloved dog on his swiftboat -- whose acrobatic/watersports skills quickly earned him the nickname "VC, the Flyin' Wonderdog" -- I did a little research and discovered John Kerry's Top Ten Other Vietnam Super-Pets.

If You're Really Dying for More Anti-Kerry Material Update: Some nitwit in the MSM essentially fellated John Kerry in writing his bio, and I offer a fisking to this very long article here.

I gotta warn you-- the article is long. Maybe too dated to read at this point. It's a real hum-dinger of a print hummer, and funny in and of itself; but I do add some good sarcasm here and there.

Probably worth skipping at this point, though.

digg this
posted by Ace at 03:53 PM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
Sharkman AKA ShitBrick: "Let's see. 1. Burning American flags will piss ..."

JackStraw: ">>Took 2 Baton Hits to the Forearm to set up...but ..."

TheJamesMadison, running from a biplane in a cornfield: "145 The next thing you are going to try to convinc ..."

BurtTC: "The French idiot getting punched is old but golden ..."

BlackOrchid_j9HX3: "you're welcome Jack lol Jill Stein took a lot o ..."

Brother Northernlurker just another guy : "On his way to the mike Biden will forget who he ch ..."

TexasDan[/i]: "126 >>The best one is still the proud boy cold coc ..."

DNC[/i]: "Mail in voting? Do they have the results from t ..."

humphreyrobot: "did they hide the We Will Tread flag? ..."

garrett: ">>Yep. Still my all time favorite. It would've bee ..."

LeftCoast Dawg: " Take a look at the number coming out of FL and A ..."

bicentennialguy: "When (not if) Joe is once again trounced for the p ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64