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January 02, 2005

Best of Ace, #3: Various Slap-Ups of John F'n' Kerry

Kind of a cheat here, but there were a couple of fun Kerry posts which, in aggregate, should be in the top ten.

A Vile Attack on John Kerry's Character Which I Cannot Abide, in which I express my Andrew-Sullivan-level outrage at the suggestion that Kerry was drunk giving his post-RNC midnight rally, even though, hey, look at the tape, he clearly was.

The suggestion was gob-smackingly vile. As was my constant re-referencing of that suggestion. As well as my own suggestion that maybe John Kerry was, in fact, a shaved-down mutant bear.

I still feel "sickened" and filled with "heart-ache" over this loathesome post.

Equally appalling and disgusting was my suggestion that John Kerry might just be some sort of Bigfoot. There's a top-ten documenting the Michael-Moore-level evidence and everything.

When John Kerry announced he was "fascinated" by rap and hip-hop, it inspired one of my all-time favorite top tens, the Top Ten Influences Hip Hop Has Had on Senator John F. Kerry of Beacon Hill.

And when John Kerry told his delightful little fabrication about "VC," supposedly a beloved dog on his swiftboat -- whose acrobatic/watersports skills quickly earned him the nickname "VC, the Flyin' Wonderdog" -- I did a little research and discovered John Kerry's Top Ten Other Vietnam Super-Pets.

If You're Really Dying for More Anti-Kerry Material Update: Some nitwit in the MSM essentially fellated John Kerry in writing his bio, and I offer a fisking to this very long article here.

I gotta warn you-- the article is long. Maybe too dated to read at this point. It's a real hum-dinger of a print hummer, and funny in and of itself; but I do add some good sarcasm here and there.

Probably worth skipping at this point, though.


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posted by Ace at 03:53 PM

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