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September 17, 2004

Best of: VC the Flyin' Wonderdog and John Kerry's Other Vietnam Super-Pets

Q: "Do you have any pets that have made an impact on you personally?"

John Kerry: "When I was serving on a swiftboat in Vietnam, my crewmates and I had a dog we called VC.... One day as our swiftboat was heading up a river, a mine exploded hard under our boat. After picking ourselves up, we discovered VC was MIA. Several minutes of frantic search followed after which we thought we'd lost him. We were relieved when another boat called asking if we were missing a dog. It turns out VC was catapulted from the deck of our boat and landed confused, but unhurt, on the deck of another boat in our patrol."

Allah scooped the media with this photo of VC the Flyin' Wonderdog in action.

But there's more, of course. Because VC the Flyin' Wonderdog wasn't John Kerry's only Vietnam Super-Pet.

Top Ten Other John Kerry Amazin' Vietnam Super-Pets

10. An adorable angora kitten codenamed "Spartan" skilled at demolitions & night-ops

9. Two ferrets named Kodo and Podo with whom Lieutenant "Dar" Kerry shares a telepathic bond

8. A cigar-smoking orang-utan named "Doc" who's fond of whiskey and cheating at cards

7. "Mr. Nibbles," a cowardly but clever horse who plays dead at the first sound of Cong gunfire

6. A superintelligent cat named "Sox" (short for "Socrates") who speaks with a crisp British accent and is a master of tactical planning

5. A couple of pandas named Ping and Pong who enjoy music, dancing, and cutting off the ears of their "kills" to make trophy-necklaces

4. "Johnny Thunder," a magical turtle capable of flying at twice the speed of sound

3. A loveable mutt named "Sneakers" who waterskis from the back of Lt. Kerry's swiftboat by day and solves spooky mysteries by night

2. A goldfish with a triple-black-belt in Karate nicknamed "Wet Li"

... and the Number One John Kerry Super-Amazing Vietnam Pet...

1. "Mr. Tickles," a kleptomaniacal, master-burglar gerbil that Lieutenant Kerry is always able to smuggle through customs owing to some special secret "happy hiding place" only they know about

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posted by Ace at 03:46 PM

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