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First-World Problems... | Main | Gun Thread: Very Nearly The End of July Edition!
July 30, 2023

Food Thread: Artificial Food Is The End Of The World!


It's that time! Or at least it's getting very close!

A good tomato with some fresh mozzarella, fresh basil, a drizzle of good Balsamic vinegar and some olive oil is the signal to me that summer has arrived.

Tomatoes are still a couple of weeks from being perfect, but good mozzarella is always a treat, especially if it is truly fresh and hasn't been chilled down in the refrigerator. Am I the only one who thinks that the texture changes once it is refrigerated and firms up? Yes, I have allowed it to come to room temperature, but still, it doesn't have the creaminess of fresh.

I made it a long time ago, and while I enjoyed it, I also recall that it was a bit of a pain in the ass. But this was many years ago, and I should try again. Hell, making ricotta is pretty much the easiest thing on the planet, and mozzarella should be almost as simple.


It's disgusting in all ways. The idea of artificial food, coupled with the undeniable creepiness of having it grown in what is essentially a very large petri dish on agar-agar makes me want to have nothing to do with it.

But beyond the visceral repulsion is a disturbing mindset, that we must detach ourselves from the real world lest we injure it in any way. That is at odds with the traditional idea that we are the stewards of the earth, and that with care we can thrive being at the top of the food chain. Industrial agriculture does an amazing job of feeding the world, and without onerous government interference food would be even more plentiful.

So why waste valuable resources making artificial food in industrial settings?

Lab Grown Artificial 'Meat' May Actually Be Worse for the Environment

Lab grown "meat" may be potentially worse for the environment than actual beef and may have an even larger carbon footprint, according to a recent study.

This follows the USDA's approval of the FDA's decision on June 21 to greenlight the sale of lab-grown meat to American consumers.

GOOD Meat, a company that grows cell-based meat in its labs, announced in June the USDA's approval to sell its products.

Advocates of lab grown meat, which is cultured from animal cells, has been lauded by activists of being more environmentally friendly than beef, as it uses less land, water, and produces no greenhouse gases, compared to raising cattle.

Anyone with a lick of sense and functioning senses is well aware that the world is a far cleaner and less polluted place than it was a few generations ago. Awareness of, and care for the environment is not an impediment to traditional food production. As we learn more about how best to grow our food, including meat, the affect on the environment will decrease without having to resort to some dystopian factory food that evokes understandable fears about governments forcing a shift to it without any market input, and even more chilling, without sufficient research done on its long-term effects (Covid vaccine anyone?)


I know...I know...some of you are repulsed by the idea of eating raw fish. And I get it. I was no fan until my early 20s, and in the grand scheme of things I would rather eat a fantastic steak or a great piece of cooked fish.

But it is undeniably delicious, and the great variety of fish that are appropriate for eating raw makes it a wonderland of tastes and textures. What I found fascinating about the fish in the photo (that's tuna) is that the direction of the slice makes a huge difference in the texture. I am completely ignorant of how to slice raw fish, so I just hack away with my sharpest knife and hope for the best. It was delicious, but extremely firm, except for the few pieces I sliced 90 degrees from most of the cuts. Those were more tender.


Anyone have a recipe for some faux-Wawa smoothies?

Posted by: vmom stabby stabby stabby stabby stabamillion at July 30, 2023 12:33 PM (vHIgi)

I'm not a fan of smoothies...they seem to be closer to chilled baby food (or puke) than is comfortable for my palate.

As an alternative, may I suggest some French Vanilla ice cream, some whole milk, a splash of vanilla, and a shot or two of bourbon?


Low-carb works really well for me. It isn't a diet as much as a shift in my food priorities, and I do not miss those empty carbohydrate calories at all.

Well, maybe not "at all." Maybe, "most of the time." A big old bowl of some Pasta Carbonara does intrigue me, and the occasional blow-out with chips and salsa or quesadillas sure makes me smile.

But this low-carb dish sounds like it would work quite well on its own! Pork rinds are loads of fun to eat, and add in some pulled pork and some gloppy, gloopy, molten Mexican cheese? Yeah...there is nothing wrong with that!

Pork Rind Nachos w Pulled Pork




I made burgers with Wagyu ground beef, and much to my chagrin they were spectacular. Of course they were beefy, and significantly richer than the typical good quality burger blend. But they also crisped better and more quickly than that typical burger meat, undoubtedly because there was so much fat perfectly distributed throughout the burger.

That combination of rich, fatty, beefy flavor and the texture of a crispy outside is very tough to beat.




The oyster imperative remains in effect, especially now that we are entering the summer months. Yup, I'm not afraid of oysters in the summer! (Except that my usual source was sold out, so I am an oysterless Dildo, and you know how bad that is!) And send pork rib roasts from the front end of the pig where all the good and fatty meat lives, carrots that don't taste like stalky chalk, garlic...lots of garlic! (but no basil!), well-marbled NY strip steaks and elk backstrap to: cbd dot aoshq at gmail dot com.

And don't think that the rest of you are off the hook with maple syrup and French Toast: I'm still watching you! And I am watching you perverts who shake Manhattans and keeping a list for the Burning Times.

And yes, I used to demand fancy bourbon, but let's face it, $1,200 for a bottle of bourbon is just stupid, insulting, and a ghastly affront to most people's palates and wallets. I think the sweet spot is $40-$60 for excellent and interesting bottles, and bumping that to $100 gets you an incremental improvement in quality, but nothing mind-blowing. More than that and I think you are paying for hype and rarity, which may look good in your liquor cabinet, but doesn't translate to more quality in the bottle.

digg this
posted by CBD at 04:00 PM

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