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March 31, 2022

CNN Is Already Planning Layoffs At Streaming "Service" CNN+;
To Raise Easy (?) Cash, CNN Will Turn Its First Half Hour of "Content" Into NFTs and Sell Them to Braindead Partisans

Chris Wallace's job might not be as secure as he'd hoped:

Charles Gasparino
@CGasparino

Breaking:

@CNNplus employees bracing for layoffs possibly as soon as May amid projections of lackluster sales of new streaming channel; CNN employees say new streaming channel could be merged into larger @discoveryplus as early as May unless subscriptions pick up 130 @FoxBusiness

Obviously they wouldn't fire a high-profile guy like Wallace, but if they're already planning layoffs, that means the "service" is not going to be around very long.

Or will it? CNN's new owners, Discovery, know full well that people aren't going to pay $5.99 to not watch a channel they're already not watching for free.

So they're already talking about "bundling" it in a package deal with channels people are willing to pay for. Like HBO.

On Tuesday CNN is introducing CNN+, a subscription streaming service that combines live news coverage, on-demand programming and interactive interviews.

CNN's goal is to establish closer relationships with news consumers -- the same way Netflix (NFLX) and HBO Max have done in entertainment.

It has hired hundreds of people and developed dozens of shows for this new platform. Analysts say it is the most ambitious streaming news venture to date in the United States.

"We are going to be the only global video-driven news subscription business," CNN chief digital officer and head of CNN+ Andrew Morse said in an interview.
On Tuesday CNN is introducing CNN+, a subscription streaming service that combines live news coverage, on-demand programming and interactive interviews.

CNN's goal is to establish closer relationships with news consumers -- the same way Netflix (NFLX) and HBO Max have done in entertainment.
It has hired hundreds of people and developed dozens of shows for this new platform. Analysts say it is the most ambitious streaming news venture to date in the United States.
"We are going to be the only global video-driven news subscription business," CNN chief digital officer and head of CNN+ Andrew Morse said in an interview.
The big three broadcast news divisions -- ABC, NBC and CBS -- have streaming channels that are free and ad-supported, but have far less content. MSNBC repurposes some of its programs on NBCUniversal's subscription service, Peacock, while Fox News sells a streamer that focuses on entertainment and right-wing talk, not news.

Oh, they focus on partisan chatter, unlike the pristine "news" channel CNN.

Right.

CNN+ is distinct from all of those. Still, the service faces headwinds, including looming management changes and outside skepticism about the service's prospects.

"News is additive. It's habit forming. But it's a hard sell for a standalone subscription service," said Julia Alexander, senior strategy analyst for Parrot Analytics, a firm that advises media companies.

Down the road, CNN+ may be bundled. But at launch it is a standalone product priced at $5.99 a month.

Wow, that shows some real confidence in CNN+ -- buy these other channels people actually want, and we'll throw in this Pile of Dogshit for free.

Which is CNN's tried-and-true business model -- they're only on cable at all because the cost of the channel is bundled into the cost of the channels people actually watch.

And: Is it really $5.99 per month?

No, it's not.

They're already "discounting" it at its real price, $2.99 per month. Which is still way too high.

Screenshot (1895).png

If you sign up now, you'll get CNN+ at half-price, which is still 5000% of what it's actually worth. And you'll lock in those savings for life.

So that's the real price. As anyone who's ever tried to cancel cable knows, cable companies will offer you the "teaser" rates, the "Try HBO for $4 per month (for six months)" rate, when you show you're serious about cancelling. And if you periodically call up to cancel, you can keep getting those teaser rates for a while.

Is CNN+ really going to turn away what few people are interested in the "service" at all if they demand the "50% off" rate instead of the "regular" $5.99 rate? No. This rate will be routinely offered to anyone.

The only people who will pay $5.99 a month to watch Chris Wallace and Don Lemon in a more casual "chat" situation are braindead partisan super-fans who just want to spend extra money to support CNN's brand of "journalism," like Noted Conservative Blogger AllahPundit.

Here's another way Noted Conservative Blogger AllahPundit can support his favorite "journalism" outfit: he can buy the NFTs of the first half our of CNN+'s "news" coverage.

For those of you who don't know what the hell NFTs are: Join the club. I don't know what the hell they are, either.

But what I say to pretend I know what they are is that an NFT is an unreproducable cryptographic code, or crypto fingerprint, that allows you take a digital object, like a digital photograph or a thirty second video of CNN+'s amazing programming, and stamp it with that code to make this one copy of the easily-copied digital artifact the "one real authorized copy."

And in theory, limiting the supply of something should increase its price. You can't sell a jpg image because they can be easily copied and reproduced. But of one jpg image has a stamp making it the one real jpg image, you can, in theory, sell that as a unique item.

And people are doing this now with digital "art," and people are "investing" in NFTs and flipping them, selling them to other people.

I don't want to spread FUD (Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt), but this NFT thing always seemed very very silly to me, and I have a strong feeling that the NFT market is about to collapse.

Or at least it will "right-size" to its true value.

Which is zero.

But then again, I chose against buying Bitcoin when it was like $600 per coin, because I thought that was way past the top of the market.

So anyway: What a perfect time for CNN to fleece its braindead partisan zombie viewers, selling them worthless digital vapor-trinkets.

CNN is marketing its CNN+ streaming debut as a "historic moment" for the company by selling the first seconds of its first live stream as a set of NFTs, CNN+ chief Andrew Morse said on Wednesday.

The NFTs, of which there will be 250, will feature the first 29 seconds of the first episode of 5 Things with Kate Bolduan, a daily morning show for CNN+ that marked the start of the streaming service's debut on Tuesday.

The NFTs will be available for purchase beginning on at 10 a.m. PT on March 30 via Vault by CNN, a separate NFT marketplace that sells digital collectibles of major moments in CNN's history, such as footage of Ted Turner launching CNN in 1980. At launch, each NFT featuring the first moment of Bolduan's live show will be sold at $50 each; users do not need to use crypto to purchase the tokens.

Screenshot (1906).jpg
Now you can be the proud, deranged owner of a
certified copy of this vile hag

One good thing about NFTs:

Feminists are complaining that they're "anti-woman."

Because not enough men are handholding them and doing their research for them and giving them free NFTs just for being women.






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