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Wednesday Morning News Dump | Main | The Balls On This F'n Guy
September 11, 2013

The Master Diplomat, Seeking Support from a Rival Nation (Republicans), Chooses to Insult Them

Bumped

Come witness the Master Diplomat use his silvery tongue to insult the very people whose support he's asking for.

In a speech that had been good, for an Obama speech, avoiding his usual gassy nothingness in favor of tangible nouns and clear verbs of the sort he apparently was taught were poor form in college, Obama chose to drop this little insult:

And so to my friends on the right, I ask you to reconcile your commitment to America's military might with a failure to act when a cause is so plainly just.

To my friends on the left, I ask you to reconcile your belief in freedom and dignity for all people with those images of children writhing in pain and going still on a cold hospital floor, for sometimes resolutions and statements of condemnation are simply not enough.

Note that Obama's "friends on the left" believe in freedom and dignity in all people. People on the right don't, apparently.

What do people on the right believe in? "Military might." Pure force. Note that he decouples military might from any moral purpose -- he doesn't say "your commitment to keeping the nation safe" or "your commitment to a patriotic defense of America." No, such moral approval is stripped away so that Obama can speak neutrally of the one thing Obama thinks conservatives care about, naked martial power.

We share this love of naked martial power, shorn of any moral or ethical purpose, with some of his other friends on the right, such as Caesar, Napoleon, and Hitler.

His friends on the left, see, support the values which might be attained by exertion of raw military might, such as "freedom and dignity of all people," but his friends on the right are just about having the biggest bombs and stuff.

Even when he's supposedly "reaching out to us," this Master Diplomat and Coolly Brilliant Poet-Warrior steadfastly refuses to pay the right the slightest degree of respect.

And this man represents us in our dealings with foreign actors. Imagine how his similar haughtiness plays overseas. Imagine how it's already played for five years, and how it will play for another three.

Smart diplomacy, huh?

Hey wingers, get behind this war. It's got the three things you Bitter Clingers can't get enough of-- Guns, Spooky Religious Nonsense, and Killing Foreign People.

Now, Friends on the Left, you can get behind it for the true moral purposes which flow from reason and higher functions of the brain.

But Friends on the Right, we'll appeal to your Lizard Brains and Blow Up Some Shit because you folks seem to like that sort of thing. Why, we'll even give you some of those ribbons and parades that your Simple Ilk seems to crave.

I mean, Friends on the Right, let's face it, you don't believe in Freedom and Dignity for All People. No, that's a higher goal, and higher goals are promulgated by Obama's Friends on the Left.

People on the Right, you will provide the muscle for achieving the goals of Obama's Friends on the Left.

See, we can all work together and achieve big things. Obama's Friends on the Left will provide the thinking and moral reason, and Obama's Friends on the Right will provide the gruntwork, simple mechanical actions, and crude delight in high explosives.

Friends on the Left, Obama calls you to your better angels.

Friends on the Right, Obama promises you some Sweet Fucking War Footage on CNN. Guncamera shit, Hoss. And you know you love that.

Friends on the Left, think of the children that can be saved.

Friends on the Right, keep in mind that a lot of the people we'll be dropping bombs on look reasonably similar to Trayvon Martin. Pretty good, right? Yeah you bet it is!!!

Friends on the Left, Obama wants you to believe what you always believe in: the Greater Good for Mankind.

Friends on the Right, Obama promises you that he will sate your bestial need for violence and simian dominance games.

And they say this man seems somehow "foreign," as if he's "alien" to American culture, and speaks American as a second language. Why, they couldn't be more wrong.

Below, some videos Obama would like his new "Friends" to watch.



Friends on the Left, we could be heroes:

And Friends on the Right, this should appeal to you:

It's a funny thing, of the "Friends on the Left" and the "Friends on the Right," I only got the sense that one group constituted his real friends.

I got the feeling the other group he more or less despised and had an angry, arrogant bigotry towards. It seemed to curdle his tongue to even say something nice at all about the latter group, so he avoided doing so entirely, and instead said something obviously completely neutral (again, Hitler also was committed to military might) because he thought we would all be too fucking stupid to notice.

Well. Gee.

I guess you got our number, President Smart Power.

It's not so much that I give a shit about this foreign alien infiltrator's low opinion of me. And I could easily put aside my ill-will towards him in the interests of patriotism.

But what I'm shocked by is this: Apparently he is incapable of doing the same. Even in a moment of, as he himself would call it, high moral consequence.

The President of the United States, giving a speech his aides have said might hold his entire presidency in the balance, not to mention the afterthought of the lives he supposedly wants to save in Syria, still cannot manage to put aside his distaste for the Bitter Clingers and summon an atom of generosity of spirit.

I can only imagine how icily and insultingly he behaves in his meetings with foreign leaders who don't quite measure up to the lofty regard in which he holds himself.


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posted by Ace at 10:32 AM

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