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October 18, 2012

Bruce Springsteen's Obama Song tells Ohio's Women: "You really are awful in bed."

What say you, ladies?

Look, before this post goes any further, I want to make one thing perfectly clear: I think that Ohio's women are beautiful, sensual creatures who with but a subtle glance or delicate gesture can turn even the strongest of men into quivering pools of nerve-tingling emotion and exhausted satisfaction.

Seriously. I believe that when it comes to putting the "Oh!" in Ohio, there are no finer candidates than the Buckeye state's native lovelies. In fact, I have it on good authority that all red blooded conservatives and Republicans (except for a few holdout Wolverines in neighboring Michigan) feel the same way. Especially in election years when your votes could determine the outcome of a crucial swing state.

Just making that clear. Y'all know we have your back.

Which distinguishes us further, then, from President #Ladyparts Obama's campaign surrogates like Bruce Springsteen, who apparently believe that when it comes to all things intimate, Ohio's women leave much to be desired.


See...here are the lyrics to a song that Mr. Springsteen performed today on behalf of the Obama campaign in the great state of Ohio (or O-i-h-o for those Obama supporters who may accidentally read this).

"I came to Ohio looking for a date

[Forward!]

We kissed and I said itís a hell of a state.

[Forward!]

We made love, but it wasnít so great

[Forward!]

Forward! And away we go."

...

...

...

I wonder if Mr. Springsteen keeps his lyrics in a binder?

Y'all gave me grief for the Manfred Mann cover earlier. Even they would look at this and say "Hey, it's too asinine even for us to sing."

Now, I'm not gonna get deep into the whole "Imagine the outrage if a Romney supporter" said this kinda thing, because, well, y'all know all that already. But, still, I think we'd never hear the end of words like "demeaning" or "objectifying" or "degrading" and the like. Firedoglake would likely melt down. Susan Estrich would stroke out. "Forward and Away we Go" would be heralded on MSNBC as sexist dog whistle code words for a "use them and lose them" frat boy mentality, or as the anthem for the "war on women" (TM).

We know this. So why repeat it.

To be fair, I'll even consider that maybe The Boss was joking at his own "abilite des l'amour", as the French might say (I dunno...I have no desire to be French and I'm running out of nice euphemisms), and not slandering the better half of Ohio's voters. I mean, it could be I guess. How the hell would we know if he's any good in bed? The last time most of us saw him with an attractive woman he was picking Courtney Cox out of an audience in 1984.

Still.

Is this song smart on any level. Is it ever a good idea to show up and insult members of your audience?

Bruce may have bought a guitar and learned how to make it talk, but right about now I imagine the feminists Obama is relying on are ready to take him out back for a long walk.

Follow me if you like on Twitter "@jackmcoldcuts". Especially if you are an Ohio woman with something to prove.


(Did I say that outloud?)

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posted by Jack M. at 06:34 PM

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