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December 29, 2010

One HUGE unresolved issue of 2010- Delaware

Land of..what exactly? Oregonites, New Yorkers, Texans and Californians, besides any potential family that live in that "state", what purpose does Delaware serve? Those of us in the other 49 states are, frankly, puzzled by its very existence.

For those of you who have heard rumors, yes it actually exists- it's a state that rests on the Delmarva Peninsula, mainly to buffer the bulk of Eastern Shore Maryland from having a kickassedly massive shoreline. Blocks Pennsylvania from having one at all, in fact.

The big story out of the First State this year was not, in fact, the epic battle of Rino V Conservative. Nor was it the Big F'n Deal out of native son Biden's mouth. No, Delaware managed to highlight its uselessness. Facts below.

Fact #1-
It did not make a damn bit of difference who won the Senate race, proving its utter worthlessness in an election. O'Donnell was simply too goofy and needed to save $1 million for her new house and pay her back taxes, so the only real potential winners considering the primary candidates from either party were Castle and Coons. Coons was going to vote left. Castle was too. In the end, even if Christine had won, DADT and START still would have passed.
Useless, utterly useless.

Fact #2-
Delaware is New Jersey's New Jersey. Smell Wilmington and tell me I am wrong.

Fact #3-
Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, brags about their adventures at the University of Delaware. Any photographic evidence in fact that the campus exists at all is sketchy- they could just be using a very, very big cardboard cutout.

Fact #4-
You are suckered into paying $10 to literally enter and leave the state when you are moving between the far more useful ones. $10 for 10 miles of driving, all without the hope of a surprise hummer from a truck stop hooker. No hope because the state takes about 20 minutes to walk through (yet an hour to drive on the 10 mile toll road) so there's no point in having a truck stop.

Fact #5-
It looks funny.

Fact #6-
Delaware is taking up prime real estate that could be used for more productive things, like an alternative to Yucca Mountain or a permanent monster truck rally.

All of these facts in total prove the obvious- something needs to be done about this "Delaware" before its pointlessness spreads.

Delaware's most famous (and ONLY) appearance in modern film:

btw..Open Thread.

digg this
posted by CAC at 01:12 PM

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