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August 26, 2008

Sporting News: 9 Year-old Pitcher Disqualified for Awesomeness (genghis)

Yep. Now that we’re already burnt-out on political convention coverage, might as well get back to more important topics.

This sordid story was on FNC earlier today.

”A Connecticut youth baseball team with a phenomenal 9-year-old pitcher has been disqualified because its team is too good.”

“The team, Will Power Fitness, has an 8-0 record thanks in large part to pitcher Jericho Scott.”

Time out. “Will Power Fitness?” Who the fuck names their team that? Was the name Chupacabras already taken? If nothing else, there’s always this. Anyway,

”His pitching is so fast and accurate, the Liga Juvenil De Baseball De New Haven asked the team's coach, Wilfred Vidro, to replace him so he wouldn't frighten other players.”

““The spirit of the league was community, family, well-being, nurturing," Peter Noble, the league's attorney, told the Register. "It’s an extended family and it’s been disrupted.””

Of course, the issue is going to be settled in a perfectly rational manner:

”On Saturday, Jericho and his team showed up to the ballfield despite the fact the league canceled the game because they feared an "unhealthy environment" due to parental bickering, Noble told the paper. Jericho's parents, Nicole and Leroy, planned to meet with attorney Gabriel Malor, Esq. on Monday.”

It’s possible I altered that last sentence in the quote.

But the story may have a good ending after all. Rumors on various sports blogs tonight indicate that young Mr. Scott has already acquired an agent and is in talks with the Seattle Mariners regarding a $35 million per year contract along with undisclosed signing bonuses.

File photo of Jericho Scott throwing a 308 mph spit ball straight at your ass. The photographer who took this photo was critically injured and several bystanders were wounded by shrapnel

posted by xgenghisx at 04:41 AM

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This sordid story was on FNC earlier today. ”A Connecticut youth baseball team with a phenomenal 9-year-old pitcher has been disqualified because its team is too good.” “The team, Will Power Fitness, has an 8-0 record thanks in large part to pitcher Jericho Scott.” Time out. “Will Power Fitness?” Who the fuck names their team that? Was the name Chupacabras already taken? If nothing else, there’s always this. Anyway, ”His pitching is so fast and accurate, the Liga Juvenil De Baseball De New Haven asked the team's coach, Wilfred Vidro, to replace him so he wouldn't frighten other players.” ““The spirit of the league was community, family, well-being, nurturing," Peter Noble, the league's attorney, told the Register. "It’s an extended family and it’s been disrupted.”” Of course, the issue is going to be settled in a perfectly rational manner: ”On Saturday, Jericho and his team showed up to the ballfield despite the fact the league canceled the game because they feared an "unhealthy environment" due to parental bickering, Noble told the paper. Jericho's parents, Nicole and Leroy, planned to meet with attorney Gabriel Malor, Esq. on Monday.” It’s possible I altered that last sentence in the quote. But the story may have a good ending after all. Rumors on various sports blogs tonight indicate that young Mr. Scott has already acquired an agent and is in talks with the Seattle Mariners regarding a $35 million per year contract along with undisclosed signing bonuses. File photo of Jericho Scott throwing a 308 mph spit ball straight at your ass. The photographer who took this photo was critically injured and several bystanders were wounded by shrapnel posted by xgenghisx at 04:41 AM \| Access Comments <script language="javascript" src="http://adserver.adtechus.com/addyn/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=700;cookie=info;target=_blank;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]"></script><noscript><a href="http://adserver.adtechus.com/adlink/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=300;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]" target="_blank"><img src="http://adserver.adtechus.com/adserv/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=300;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]" border="0" width="300" height="250"></a></noscript>	Recent Comments [/i][/b]andycanuck (hovnC)[/s][/u]: "Maral Salmassi @MaralSalmassi Despite claims made ..." jimmymcnulty: "Are Australian pizzas served upside down. Asking ..." Viggo Tarasov: "Hey, that tweezer thing can really pluck someone u ..." Eromero: "322 German police valiantly confiscating a Swiss A ..." 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