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May 21, 2008
It Puts the Lotion on the Gasket: Man Admits (Claims?) Sexual Relations with 1000 CarsNot in those vehicles or on those vehicles, mind you. With those vehicles. ![]() Actual Caption: Edward Smith with one of his former partners Well, it is the "Love Bug." Edward Smith, who lives with his current "girlfriend" – a white Volkswagen Beetle named Vanilla, insisted that he was not "sick" and had no desire to change his ways. I don't want to be all liberal, but it seems to me this guy isn't hurting anyone, and if this is his preference, so be it. There's nothing to be gained by judging him or treating him with anything but tolerance and acceptance. But his wandering eye has spread beyond cars to other vehicles. He says that his most intense sexual experience was "making love" to the helicopter from 1980s TV hit Airwolf. What? What? You dirty bastard son of a bitch. String this filthy pervert up and let him stretch until his rotten head pops off. As well as Vanilla, he regularly spends time with his other vehicles – a 1973 Opal GT, named Cinnamon, and 1993 Ford Ranger Splash, named Ginger. He explains how his fetish began: "When I turned 13 and the famous Corvette Stingray came about, that car was pure sex and just an incredible machine. I wanted it." Eh, that'll do it. Now, he's willing to admit his "mechphillia" perversion, but there is one thing he wants to be perfectly clear about: "As far as women go, they never really interested me much. And I'm not gay.” Thank goodness. For a second I thought he was weird or something. Then again, when the lights go down, you're just looking for an engine-hum and an exhaust pipe, right? Thanks to dri. UPDATE (Jack M.): I think this story settles the Airwolf vs. Firefox debate once and for all. Firefox would NEVER have succumbed to the unwanted sexual advances of Edward "Who's gonna drive you home?" Harris. Unlike that wuss, Airwolf, who didn't exactly put up much resistance, if you know what I mean and I think you do. Update [ace]: Okay, now I can see the attraction. Thanks to dri again for that. Thanks! Railwriter suggested the new intro for the headline. Vid: Since others are linking their favorite carfucking songs, I'll link this obscure one from Thomas Dolby I always liked. | Recent Comments
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Mid-Morning Art Thread [Kris]
The Morning Report — 4/ 2 /25 Daily Tech News 2 April 2025 Tuesday Overnight Open Thread - April 1, 2025 [scampydog] Dogs Are Good People Cafe 60 Minutes' Lesley Stahl Attacks Former Hamas Hostage: How Do You Know They Were Deliberately Starving You? Maybe The Poor Hamas Terrorists Just Didn't Have Food! A UK Panel Calls for Getting Tough on Violent Offenders... Except... Industry Analyst: Hollywood's Long String of Bombs Is Creating Negative Feedback Loop Which Will Further Depress Theater Attendance Pete Hegseth: We're Restoring Old Combat Standards, and Will No Longer Have Different Standards for Men and Women UK School Expels a 4-Year-Old for "Transphobia" Search
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