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August 05, 2007

Dying to be green [dri]

Everyone knows that Gaia views us humans as a parasitic virus on her living, breathing celestial body. Free of the bi-pedal pestilence with which mankind infects the planet, the lambs, sloths, carp, anchovies, orangutans, and fruit bats would all thrive under mother earth’s watchful eye.


The sooner we all just die, the better it will be for the planet. But herein lies the rub: How do we dispose of our bodies in a manner that doesn’t pollute or exacerbate the effects of global warming? Burial is a waste of space and is potentially toxic to the drinking water that the legitimate native species of planet earth thrive upon. Cremation offers no solution to this problem either as burning carbon based life forms just creates more airborne carbon. Burial at sea offers some promise but consider the likes of Michael Moore or Rosie O’Donnell bobbing endlessly up and down the Gulf Stream. There simply aren’t enough Hammerhead feeding frenzies in the world's oceans to effectively dispose of such potential navigational hazards.

No, dying it appears will only help the planet heal if done in a progressive manner. One method being proffered is to boil dead bodies into dust.

Another earth friendly method of body disposal is the tried an true Tibetan air burial.


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posted by xgenghisx at 04:09 PM

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