I think I love you...

Rachel Marsden.

I mean, sure...all of you are going to accuse me of two-timing MKH and everything, but when is the last time MKH wrote lyrical stuff like this?

It’s Monday morning quarterback time after yesterday’s Super Bowl! Being a political analyst, this means I have an excuse to talk about my favourite linebacker, Hillary Clinton, who, incidentally, fills out a cup better than Peyton Manning.

Given that I hate both Hillary! and Peyton! i'd have to offer it up as proof that you can, indeed, kill two birds with one stone.

I can summarize, in exactly two words, why today’s polls don’t actually matter: Howard Dean.

This early 2004 Democratic favourite and hero of every Doritos-chomping, pimple-popping, dorm-dwelling Internet diarist wanked himself into a frenzy during a single campaign speech — and then no longer appeared to be in care and control of the short bus, let alone able to take the wheel of the free world.

Has anyone ever captured the essence of a Kos-diarist so well? Wanking themselves into a frenzy....perfect.

What Clinton absolutely needs to avoid is hanging out with her old bra burning crew, like Vagina Monologues creator Eve Ensler, who helped Clinton decide on her New York Senate run.

Terrorism doesn’t scare me as much as chicks who obsess over their vagina.

Sister...you are PREACHING. TO. THE. CHOIR.

What can I say...love is fickle. But Clinton-hatred?

That's forever.

Happy Valentines Day, Ms. Marsden. Call me!

The rest of you morons should just read (or, in your cases, sound out) the whole thing. It's that good.

posted by Jack M. at 02:45 PM

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