Ahmadinejad: I am the AIDS-man...

goo goo ga jews.

Man, oh man, sometimes I'm glad I didn't die in my sleep. Not often, mind you. I lead a very sad life. Today, though, is one of those days when I welcome the dawn. Well, more like the crack of 9:30 Am, but lets not split hairs.

Why am I happy to have awoken? Because I got to read the above linked unbelievable story on Foxnews.com today. To the blockquotes!

President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was set to speak of his nation's "great achievements" on Feb. 11, Ynetnews.com reported Sunday, citing the Iranian news agency Fars as its source.

"We patented the art of crafting finely colored and intricately woven rugs about 1000 years ago. Really...you expect us to ever be able to top that? Maybe in another 1000 years, infidel son of a monkey and pig. By the way, those GEICO ads? Totally offensive!"

Along with the claim of nuclear "rights," Ahmadinejad was set to tout a purported "herbal" cure for AIDS, the news agency Fars reported.

Now look...you are talking to a guy that knows a thing or two about "natural herbal supplements". And let me tell you something, it's been three years and I'm still waiting for those things Ron Jeremy sold me on late night television to pay off. So I wouldn't get my hopes up here, if I were you.

"The drug named 'IMOD' is completely effective and safe with no proven side effects," Iran's Minister of Health Kamran Bagheri Lankarani said.

As a related bonus, the IMOD features 20 gigabytes of storage space, so you can download Ahmadinejad singing his favorite Koranic Verses at your leasure. Or Cat Stevens greatest hits. They're pretty much the same thing.

The report could not be verified.

Of course not. But get this: if the dude really has developed an AIDS cocktail (umm, no pun intended) and a Nuke program and he still hates George W. Bush?

Andrew Sullivan might just have found his one true love.

posted by Jack M. at 10:41 AM

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