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December 21, 2005

Frank Rich: America Has A Feveh, And The Only Prescription Is More Brokeback Mountain!

Kaus thinks Frank Rich may be ever-so-slightly in the Upper West Side/Theater District bubble when he burbles...

But I'll rashly predict that the big Hollywood question posed on the front page of The Los Angeles Times after those stunning weekend grosses -- ''Can 'Brokeback Mountain' Move the Heartland?'' -- will be answered with a resounding yes. All the signs of a runaway phenomenon are present, from an instant parody on ''Saturday Night Live'' to the report that a multiplex in Plano, Tex., sold more advance tickets for the so-called ''gay cowboy picture'' than for ''King Kong.''

The "so-called" gay cowboy picture. Like King Kong is the "so-called giant ape movie." Or The Crush was the "so-called movie where you get to see a body-double pose as Alicia Silverstone's jailbait ass and then fast-forward to Cary Elwes belting her across the room."

Why will the movie do well? Well...

The X factor is that the film delivers a story previously untold by A-list Hollywood. It's a story America may be more than ready to hear a year after its president cynically flogged a legally superfluous (and unpassable) constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage for the sole purpose of whipping up the basest hostilities of his electoral base.

Ahhhh... America is so gay-marriage-crazy that, being denied its first, highest passion, it will sublimate its yearnings into... gay cowboy movies.

Question: Is Frank Rich actually mentally retarded?

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posted by Ace at 10:48 PM

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