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Food Thread: Eat Your Vegetables And Drink Your G&T Or You Won't Get Dessert!

Contrary to appearances, I do like vegetables. They are an integral part of every most some meals at Chez Dildo. But I refuse to eat anything that isn't pleasing to the palate, so most vegetables dishes that emerge from my kitchen have been liberally dosed with something delicious, which always has a healthy fat component. Cheese, or olive oil or butter or cream...they all make vegetables delicious for several reasons.

The first of course is that fat is flavor. But more than flavor is the mouth feel of a lowly green bean or chunk of zucchini that has a delightful coating of fat...that's what makes it so pleasing. Or even better when the fat is incorporated into a sauce, the entire dish feels much more substantial, hearty, and filling. Almost like real food!

But fat is also the best vehicle for crisping and texture. Boil a green bean and it is redolent of...green bean! Maybe a bit of crunch from the cell walls if you didn't overcook it, but compare that to a green bean sautéed in bacon fat or olive oil or butter, and the complexity of the food takes quite a leap in the right direction.

I don't eat vegetables for my health; I eat vegetables because they taste good when cooked correctly, and they provide a lovely contrast to the rest of the meal.

You know...meat!

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One of the many reasons why I laugh at biomedical research, with an emphasis on dietary stuff is that the human body is an incredibly complex system, with all sorts of amazing stuff going on behind the scenes. It is incredibly difficult to interpolate from a study of dozens or hundreds or thousands of people to the individual, because we are all so different. Statistics describe populations, not individuals!

One person might be able to eat a diet of ice cream, Swedish Fish and bacon, and live to 101 with all of his faculties intact. His neighbor might be a marathoner who eats a "perfect" diet and drops dead at 55. So do what works for you. And if that means steak and ice cream (or Brussels Sprouts and boiled squid) for dinner? Cool!

My point? Well, it's mostly that I am sick and tired of being lectured to about my food choices by every advertisement, every food package, every label, every talking head regurgitating the latest talking points from the retarded evildoers in D.C. There are only a few really big risks that we can mitigate. Don't smoke, wear your seatbelt, don't have unprotected sex with junkies, and don't take midnight strolls through the shitty part of town.

Sure; I guess that eating a healthy diet will extend your life. By how much? Who the hell knows. But is it worth being a food fascist if you have to give up the amazing and very human pleasures of eating and drinking with your friends and family?

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Here's a great discussion about G&Ts! Complete with Science^TM words and lots of drinking. Yes...commenter and Paella star Pete Bog is a trooper.
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I followed the discussion last week regarding Gin and Tonic with some interest. I have mostly quit drinking G&T as I do not enjoy the bitter aftertaste that is typical of most commercial tonic mixes, even my least disliked Fever Tree. I enjoyed reading fellow moron “Splunge” describe the joy he takes in making his own tonic syrup, but recognized that like brain surgery it was mostly beyond my attention span. A couple of other commenters recommended various OTC (other tonic concoctions) that are available. Purely in the name of science I decided to do a taste test.

I purchased three different syrups offered at Commiezon as I was not sure tonicsyrup.com was a real website. I tested them last night in their natural environment, a G&T. I am sure I will be criticized for not tasting the syrups alone for comparison however I would not compare carrot types without chili, nor pancakes without maple syrup. I followed the directions scrupulously. Each syrup had a G&T recipe that I used, they were all the same. First I muddled an eighth of a lime in the glass, then added 2oz gin, .75oz syrup and 5oz soda water with ice I started with Hendricks Gin until that ran out and moved to Beefeaters. Of course I had a control G&T made with Schweppes Tonic Water. I realized as I was pouring using the jigger that my typical freehand pour would have resulted in more gin in each drink. Another sacrifice for science! All testing was performed in the air conditioned kitchen because it was high 80’s outside during the control and the booze was on the counter.

Control

Proving that my instincts are unerring it had an over the top flavor with a very bitter aftertaste. Of the four drinks tested it was the ninth least favorite.

Test Drink 1

Very light and refreshing flavor. Allowed the taste of the Gin and Lime through. A hint of quinine flavor without the bitter aftertaste.

Test Drink 2

Classic Gin and Tonic flavors at a level that permitted the other ingredients to shine. A more talented palate than mine that also resides here detected a hint of nutmeg. Lingering finish with little bitter aftertaste.

Test Drink 3

Much more citrus flavor but very nice. Somewhere between Liber and Schweppes in the flavor department. Definite Quinine aftertaste but not unpleasantly bitter.

The favorite? Lovely and Talented Mrs. Bog liked the Liber best. I initially agreed with her (as is usually wise) but as we sampled the drinks over the next 20 minutes or so I found that I preferred the stronger, and yes slightly more bitter Top Hat Syrup. All of them blew away the off the shelf tonic water. I presume with much less sugar and salt though I did not compare the nutritional data, nor did I test any of them for malaria prevention.

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"You Suck At Cooking" makes me laugh.

This is sort of a generic recipe for peanut noodles. There are a bunch that are better, but none that are as funny.

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Commenter "NaughtyPine" found this interesting snapshot from the late 19th century. It is fascinating how tastes and techniques have changed, no doubt because of immigration, technology, and a bunch of other drivers of cultural change.

I am sending you photos of a recipe from "The Dinner Year-Book" (1886) by Marion Harland, a writer best known for the international bestseller (really!) "Common Sense in the Household".

She has a surprisingly number of pigeon recipes, if any Morons are interested!

I dare anyone to make this!

Just kidding. Please don't. It is amusing, but really, it doesn't sound like it would taste any good.

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The oyster imperative remains in effect, especially now that we are entering the summer months. Yup, I'm not afraid of oysters in the summer! (Except that my usual source was sold out, so I am an oysterless Dildo, and you know how bad that is!) And send pork rib roasts from the front end of the pig where all the good and fatty meat lives, carrots that don't taste like stalky chalk, garlic...lots of garlic! (but no basil!), well-marbled NY strip steaks and elk backstrap to: cbd dot aoshq at gmail dot com.

And don't think that the rest of you are off the hook with maple syrup and French Toast: I'm still watching you! And I am watching you perverts who shake Manhattans and keeping a list for the Burning Times.

And yes, I used to demand fancy bourbon, but let's face it, $1,200 for a bottle of bourbon is just stupid, insulting, and a ghastly affront to most people's palates and wallets. I think the sweet spot is $40-$60 for excellent and interesting bottles, and bumping that to $100 gets you an incremental improvement in quality, but nothing mind-blowing. More than that and I think you are paying for hype and rarity, which may look good in your liquor cabinet, but doesn't translate to more quality in the bottle.