Stupid Human Tricks Cafe

by Robert Doisneau

Frog tongues off much more than he can chew.

This isn't a cute one. It's more interesting, or scary. The downside of having a 15 foot boa constrictor as a pet is that it's a 15 foot boa constrictor and it's not a pet, it's a predator. And that tank is way too small for it so you get what you give.

Freezing rain coated the streets and sidewalk with an inch of slippery ice. People can literally not even stand. It's like a nightmare.

At what point do you give up trying to stand and simply try to "swim" across the ice on your belly?

I think a commenter here told me (or us) that when it's icy, you shouldn't walk the way you usually do, but with very up-and-down steps, not the usual rolling heel-to-toe steps. Like Frankenstein steps, almost stomps, I think the idea is. I tried that this past winter. I don't know if it worked or not because the ice wasn't that bad. So if you try that, I've given you a disclaimer, and you can't sue me.

This was Putin's Ice-Stepping Advice.

Robert Crawford gives different advice:

If you're on ice, shuffle slowly rather than lifting your feet at all. Keep the movement short and slow, and your feet won't slip from under you.

Well now I don't know what to think. I guess you could combine the two.

The baby understands the basics of language.

More animals playing The Phantom Touch game.

Daddy's a dick!

Purr-kour, or: Gym-cat-a.

"You are very weird, but I have found a use for you."

Meteor.

This is the first time I've ever seen rollerblading look remotely cool:

There's sound for this one. There's a bit of cursing.

Dude:

The Active Osmosis Protocol for Accelerated Learning:

Red squirrel builds a nest for his family outside a window:

posted by Ace at 08:24 PM

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