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Food Thread: Fry Early...Fry Often...And Get Someone Else To Clean The Kitchen!

A friend of mine is making a big batch of smoked chicken wings for his Super Bowl bash, and it got me thinking about the easiest way to make them. Oh, there are lots of versions, and I found about 1,000 of them on the internet before I got bored and decided to wing it (Hah! See what I did there?).

Sous Vide at 160 degrees for two hours. Chill for a couple of days, then dry off and let them come close to room temperature. Then dry them off again, dust with corn starch, and stick them into the refrigerator until you are ready to fry them. Probably the longer the better.

Yeah...I think that's the most straightforward way to make crispy wings. Not the neatest or easiest way, but we can't have everything.

And that is one of the limitations of easy cooking, or effortless cooking, or the many variations that I see all too often in mass-market cook books and the internet.

I have written about this in the past, and will again, but for now...sometimes complexity is worthwhile. Simple is quick and easy, but there are foods that require some work!

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Has anyone noticed that The Food Network has turned to absolute shit? Many years ago I used to watch it and a few other channels and got some excellent cooking tips and recipes and enjoyed watching some competent chefs do fun stuff.

But that has gradually gone by the wayside, and it has been replaced by buffoonish chefs/celebrities who are more interested in joking around and being amusing than showing me how to cook.

Oh, when those idiots aren't on, it is a never-ending Guy Fieri shitshow. Sorry, but I am not interested in watching commercials thinly disguised as another Guy Fieri food/game show.

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Egg pie is good. Egg pie placed on a crappy old sheet pan to catch drips is still pretty good. Egg pie that sloshed a bit out of the pie crust because the crappy old sheet pan warped in the oven is still good, and only slightly messier!

[stock photo...that's not my egg pie]

I guess I could preheat the crappy sheet pan before I put the egg pie on it. Or...and I realize this is crazy talk...I could use one of my really good, thick sheets pans that don't warp!

Any advice from the Horde is appreciated.

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I like pimento cheese. And here is a really nice recipe for Whipped Pimento Cheese that is more gourmet than I think most people want.

Isn't part of the allure of (supposedly) low-brow foods like pimento cheese and hot dogs and ribs and beans and rice that they are simple, without any elegant conceit, and consumed with gusto by pretty much everyone?

I get the idea behind gussying up an old standard, but there is a reason these foods have been around for a long, long time.

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Commenter " neverenoughcaffeine" makes a very good point about my plan of a monstrous hood over my stove...

Last home I had a commercial hood to vent my 6 burner range top with griddle. Worked great and it could suck a kitchen towel into the vent. It also sucked an incredible amount of cooking oils, etc. PITA to clean. Never again. Currently down to 4 burners and a griddle and a down draft.

Thanks for ruining my dream!

Nah...I'm still going for it.

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here's a measured and intelligent response to my rant about cookbooks vs. the internet last week. It's from a lurker, so you better not be mean to him, or I'll put you all in time-out!

From Lurker "kch"

In relation to your comment re: internet vs. cookbooks, I'd like to offer my somewhat debased two cents...

I'm a professional chef, having spent (so far) better than three decades in restaurant/hotel/resort kitchens. For the last 21 years, I've been the chef at several different mid-sized seasonal resorts, overseeing restaurant, pub and banquet operations. Over this time, I've seen this business go from almost no computer operations to intensive computer operations.

From that perspective, I'll agree wholeheartedly with you - cookbooks are generally far too limited, compared with the internet, to be of great use to me. It's much more time efficient to do an internet search based on ingredients available than to hunt through cookbooks. As a result, I haven't felt the need to buy a new cookbook in at least 10 years (old cookbooks of historical interest and books about my profession are a different matter). Everything I need is already on the internet somewhere. As my computer is in the office right next to my kitchen, this is easy.

You and I have an advantage, though, compared with your average home cook. With me, it's my long years in restaurant kitchens, and with you it's your obvious love and constant practice of cooking in a home setting. This gives both of us the mental inventory of flavors and the practical experience necessary to sort through the endless crap the internet vomits up, and ignore or modify as needed. Your average home cook will unfortunately have more difficulty with this.

For example, you were able see a flaw in the potato gratin recipe without actually cooking it. I'd have said the same (though I'd have also added some sauteed onion to make it more like a classic pomme boulangere - but then I'm kind of a traditionalist...). Your average home cook is going to miss that, simply from lack of experience.

For them, a good cookbook is very useful in teaching the basics and helping to build the flavor inventory and experience they need if they want to become a good (or even useful) cook. And for God's sake, they need to start with the basics! An older edition of Joy of Cooking, or Beard's American Cookery, something like that, would be my recommendation for all neophytes (along with turning off the f*ckin' Food Network, of course).

So, to sum up (if only because this has gone on too long already): "Shut the fvck up" is the correct answer for cooks like you or I, but good cookbooks are the best way to start any cooks journey towards our position.

I think he makes some excellent points, and aside from his elevated and incorrect opinion of my cooking skills, he is spot-on!

And you'll never guess what recipe he sent me! Here's a hint..."it has maple syrup in it!" Next week...I promise.

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Brussels Sprouts that aren't as tough as trees, beef short ribs that have meat on them (not the stupid little sliver of bone they sneak into the packages), carrots that don't taste like stalky chalk, spare bottles of Van Winkle Special Reserve 12 Year Old Bourbon, an herb garden that actually produces herbs (but no basil!), well-marbled NY strip steaks and elk backstrap to: cbd dot aoshq at gmail dot com.

And don't think that you are off the hook with maple syrup and French Toast: I'm watching you...all of you! And I am watching you perverts who shake Manhattans and keeping a list for the Burning Times.