Sponsored Content
« The Occasional Fishing and Hunting Thread [Bandersnatch] | Main | President Announces "Something Big Happened;" Will Make Statement Sunday at 9 am ET;
Rumors Say That US Forces Killed Al Qaeda in Iraq Leader, then ISIS Leader and Declaring "The Caliphate," Abu Bakr Al-Baghdadi »
October 26, 2019

Saturday Overnight Open Thread (10/26/19)

happy-hour-20170102-122.jpg


***


THE SATURDAY NIGHT JOKE


An Engineer dies and goes to Hell. Dissatisfied with the level of comfort, he starts designing and building improvements. After a while, Hell has air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators.

The engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day God calls and asks Satan, "So, how's it going down there?"

Satan says, "Hey things are going great! We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

God is horrified. "What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake - he should never have gone down there! You know all engineers go to Heaven. Send him up here! "

Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff. I'm keeping him."

God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue!”

"Yeah, right," Satan laughs, "and where are you going to get a lawyer?"


***


The ONT Is Always Looking Out For YouTM
Don't do this..............

***

Never too early to think about gifts to give.


***


Ingenious? Or destructive?

A rock in West Omaha is catching everyone’s attention for its ability to wreck cars. That’s right, this is not a Hollywood movie pitch, I’m talking about a rock, not The Rock. Someone put it in place to stop drivers from cutting the corner, but some of them still do it. And get owned. Since the rock is more or less shaped like a ramp, if a car hits it with just a little bit of force, it gets stuck right on top of it. Locals have been documenting these incidents and they even created a Facebook group to share them. It might not be one of the popular ones (yet), but it sure is amusing.


***


Well this didn't work out too well. But, he did die doing something he enjoyed, so there is that.

The worst nightmare of any hunter checking on a kill occurred in Arkansas.
Authorities and wildlife officials with the Arkansas Game and Fish Commission have reported the death of 66-year-old Thomas Alexander, who shot a buck near Yellville with a muzzleloader.

"I've worked for the Game and Fish Commission for 20 years, and it's one of the stranger things that's happened," said Keith Stephens, the Chief of Communications with the agency, according to KY3.com.

When the Arkansas hunter approached the deer he just shot, it apparently attacked, leaving puncture wounds on his body.


***

Remoteness.jpg

Damn, I'm not as remote as I once thought.


***


Nothing surprises me anymore. However, I did raise an eyebrow at this one. Trial by Kyle.


A furious mum who discovered her daughter had broken her bed having sex is demanding she pays her £1,600 for a new one.

Nicole has been at loggerheads with daughter Rhiannon ever since her night of "intense passion" which saw her and an unnamed lover snap the bed frame and break several wooden slats.


Rhiannon claims she cannot afford to pay her mum for a replacement, but Nicole has branded her excuse “bulls**t!”.

Such is the bubbling tension and bad blood between them, the pair can barely speak two words to each other.

So to settle the matter once and for all, Nicole dragged Rhiannon on an Australian TV court show called Trial By Kyle - similar to Judge Rinder in the UK.


***


"Auto-Brewery Syndrome", drunk without drinking?

After years of inexplicably getting drunk without drinking alcohol, having mood swings and bouts of aggression, landing a DWI charge on the way to work one morning, and suffering a head injury in a drunken fall, an otherwise healthy 46-year-old North Carolina man finally got confirmation of having alcohol-fermenting yeasts overrunning his innards, getting him sloshed any time he ate carbohydrate-laden meals.

Through the years, medical professionals and police officers refused to believe he hadn’t been drinking. They assumed the man was lying to hide an alcohol problem. Meanwhile, he went to an untold number of psychiatrists, internists, neurologists, and gastroenterologists searching for answers.

Those answers only came after he sought help from a support group online and then contacted a group of researchers at Richmond University Medical Center in Staten Island, New York.

By then, it was September of 2017—more than seven years after his saga began. The New York researchers finally confirmed that he had a rarely diagnosed condition called “auto-brewery syndrome.”


***


The Most Depressing places on earth. Well, at least their names.


***


Bone-in Ribeye tenderizes man.


***

'11 Real-Life Horror Stories That Are Way More Terrifying Than Anything Hollywood Could Dream Up'

From Alexander the Great being buried alive to one man paying to watch a little girl be cannibalized, these true horror stories go way beyond Rated R.


***


THE ONT MUSICAL INTERLUDE



&&&


***


Be careful of who you grind. Genius Award Winner.

OCTOBER 22--The Alabama woman who was recorded grinding her rear end into the crotch of a cop attempting to handcuff her early Sunday is facing a pair of criminal charges, according to court records.

April Teale, 24, was arrested by police on misdemeanor disorderly conduct and harassment charges. The 2018 University of Alabama graduate was collared outside a Waffle House in downtown Tuscaloosa, just blocks from Bryant-Denny Stadium, where, earlier that evening, the Crimson Tide football team defeated the University of Tennessee.

As seen in a brief video recording that has gone viral, Teale was pinned up against a Waffle House window as a cop sought to handcuff her. Teale took the opportunity to press her buttocks into the officer while breathily declaring, “Oh, yeah, you like that? You like that, yeah?”


***


Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by Irish Rolling Pins.

you-have-to-be-in-awe-of-redneck-engineering-20151218-24.jpg


Notice: Posted with permission by the Ace Media Empire, AceCorp, LLC and your favorite watering hole.

digg this
posted by Misanthropic Humanitarian at 09:40 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
Gref: "279 ask a laborer making $35k per year how he's go ..."

rickb223 Cruel ace is the best ace [/s][/b][/i][/u]: "He won’t. He will afford a $7k used Leaf or ..."

m: "5 Sand everywhere? Hey, this isn't Miami Beach! ..."

Joe XiDen: "Ask a laborer making $35k per year how he's going ..."

Moron Robbie - Don't insist that I accept what you are when you can't accept what you are [/b] [/i] : "the 2026 model year Corvette will have an EV varia ..."

find more info: "Do you mind if I quote a few of your articles as l ..."

a premier study: "These are genuinely wonderful ideas in concerning ..."

Ciampino - - - FL = Snow Capital of the USA: "207 In Normandy there is also a lot of gypsum san ..."

Farmer Bob: "293- I think I've read the actual trend is the opp ..."

in a blog post: "Wow, awesome blog format! How long have you been b ..."

rickb223 Cruel ace is the best ace [/s][/b][/i][/u]: "In 1900 there were no gas stations. In 1925 there ..."

Anonosaurus Wrecks, Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? [/s] [/b] [/i]: "Amazon for selling "Suicide Kits" to teens: - ..."

Recent Entries
Search


Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64