Saturday Night "Club ONT" December 27, 2025 [The 3 Ds]

Welcome to Club ONT. A collaboration the 3D's - The Disco, The Dino, and The Doggo. We hope everyone had a wonderful, whelming and blessed Christmas - and that you enjoyed/endured family, food, traditions, and cheer. Welcome back.

Last Club ONT of 2025. Have you come to party?!? Please have your password and restroom tokens ready. Make a new friend or 2. Tip your bartender. DO NOT try the veal.

[Top Photo: Winter Wonderland, Seiffen, Germany]

Saturday Night Jokes and Other Funnies

One Sunday morning, the priest noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names with small USA flags mounted on either side of it.

The seven year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the priest walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said quietly, "Good morning Alex."

"Good morning father," he replied, still focused on the plaque. "Father, what is this?" he asked the priest.

The priest said, "well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service."

Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque.

Finally, little Alex's voice, barely audible and trembling with fear, asked, "which service, the 9:00 or the 11:00?"

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A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the
other if there was sex after death. Their biggest fear was that there was no
after-life at all.

After a long life together, the husband was the first to die.

True to his word, he made the first contact: "Judy........Judy"

"Is that you, George?""

"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."

"That's wonderful!? What's it like?"

"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex.

I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course.

I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times.

Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens).

Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon.

After supper, it's back to golf course again.

Then it's more sex until late at night.

I catch some much-needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again."

"Oh, George, are you in Heaven?"

"No, I'm a rabbit in Kansas."

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At a wedding ceremony when the pastor said, "Speak now or forever hold your peace." The moment of silence was broken by a young beautiful woman carrying a child. She stood up and started walking slowly toward the pastor.

All hell broke loose.

The bride threw the bouquet on the floor and burst out crying. Then the groom's mother fainted.

The best man fidgeted, wondering how to save the situation.

The pastor said to the woman, "Why have you came forward? What do you have to say?"

There was absolutely thundering silence in the church as the woman replied,
"We can't hear in the back."

Drink of the Night

Cherry-Lime Margarita

Ingredients 1 lime wedge Finely grated lime zest, for rim Kosher salt 1 1/2 oz. tequila blanco 1/2 oz. concentrated cherry juice 1/2 oz. fresh lime juice 1/2 oz. maraschino cherry syrup from jar 1/2 oz. triple sec Ice Lime slices and maraschino cherries, for serving

Directions
Rub the rim of a margarita glass with lime wedge. Mix lime zest and salt on a shallow plate. Roll rim of glass in lime zest mixture until coated.

In a cocktail shaker, combine tequila, cherry juice, lime juice, maraschino cherry syrup, and triple sec. Fill shaker with ice, cover, and vigorously shake until outside of shaker is very frosty, about 20 seconds.

Fill prepared glass with more ice. Strain margarita into glass. Garnish with lime slice and maraschino cherry.

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Also still available

Club ONT Department of Collecting

German man collects 11,000 different snow globes

A German man who earned a Guinness World Record for his collection of 6,100 snow globes in 2002 revealed his collection has now grown to 11,000 pieces.

Josef Kardinal broke his own record for the largest collection of snow globes when a Guinness World Records adjudicator visited his Nuremberg home and confirmed he now owns 11,000 different snow globes.

Kardinal, who has been collecting snow globes since 1994, said the oldest item in his collection is an Eiffel Tower-themed snow globe made in Paris in 1889.

Club ONT Department of History

The unwashed and patchouli people should take note.

Zooming in on the container above: For Laundry use only. For all white and colored work. For removal and control of rust! Contains fluorine compounds. Poisonous if taken internally.

AI tells us that it is a veneer canister or a coopered veneer tube. Common in the late 1800's and early 1900's. Thin sheet of veneer, steam softened / shaped, with an overlapped or scarf-jointed seam. Metal bands at the top and bottom for structural strength and to keep it from "springing" open. Top and bottom were solid wood. Cool!

Found an old NY Times archive (November of 1939) that mentions Penn Salt acquired Erusto - cannot link it's pay to view style.

Those bastards will tax anything. Soap history.

Well into the 19th century, soap was heavily taxed as a luxury item in several countries. When the tax was removed, soap became available to most people, and cleanliness standards across societies improved.

***

This D knows nearly nothing about Russian history. One helluva statue, however.

Will leave it to the commenters that know their Russian history to vouch for the accuracy at the site linked. Brief Historical Summary of the Motherland Calls. Several excellent photos.

The statue is already clearly visible through a huge opening in the roof from the Hall of Military Glory. Its sculptor, Yevgeny Vuchetich, once said the following to the famous physicist and human rights activist Andrei Sakharov: "My bosses asked me why her mouth is open, it doesn't look beautiful. And I answered, because she is screaming: 'For the Motherland, you motherf…ers!' They never asked again."

***

Statues. Skipping the icons. Heading straight to the weird and amusing.

25 Weirdest Statues and Sculptures. It's got the Corporate Head Sculpture, Male Tranny Taunting Local Pickpockets, The Kindlifresserbrunnen” – Weird Statue Of An Ogre Eating Children, and more.

The “De Vaartkapoe” statue by Belgian artist Tom Frantzen depicts a young rebel rising up from the sewers to trip and topple over a policeman thus overthrowing his authority. Created in 1985, the statue is located in Sint-Jans-Molenbeek, Belgium.

Club ONT Department of "Where did the year go?"

Club ONT Stocking Stuffer Messaging

Slowly working up to chloroform.

Club ONT Music

No frankincense or myrrh here - just GOLD!

Club ONT Department of Setting Personal Goals

Comments of the Year Top 10ish Comments of the Week

Before you leave!

Not sure this is a good idea, but feel free to drop a card in the ol' suggestion box. How can we make the Club even better in 2026?

Club ONT brought to you by: Motivation.

Please keep Schnoflepuppy and pookysgirl and their families in your prayers. Tough times of personal loss for both. Check the prayer thread this morning. Content, and comments 69, 422 and 423. May God give them strength and comfort.

Club ONT hopes that you enjoyed the Festivus program of "Airing of Grievances." We apologize to those of you who were disappointed after expecting "Airing of Cleavages." That is a completely different event. Check back when the weather gets warmer...

posted by Open Blogger at 10:00 PM

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