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May 30, 2019

Unidentified Phallic Object: Air Force Says Sky Penis Isn't Really a Sky Penis, It's Just the Aurora Borealis Refracting Off a Partially Deflated Weather Balloon Trapped in a Pocket of Phosphorescent Swamp Gas That Just Happens to Look Exactly Like a Dick

It's like the Air Force's own SETI program, only we're telling the UFOs "We're ready to party and put our sex into your women."

Did an F-35 pilot from Luke Air Force Base in Arizona give us the the latest in a series of sky penises on Tuesday afternoon? Or was the suggestive contrail inadvertently left while practicing normal flight maneuvers?

...

But a Luke spokeswoman said in an emailed statement Wednesday that officials have looked into it, and found that wasnít the F-35 pilotís intention.

"We've seen the photos that have been circulating online from Tuesday afternoon," Maj. Rebecca Heyse, chief of public affairs for the 56th Fighter Wing at Luke, said in the email. "56th Fighter Wing senior leadership reviewed the training tapes from the flight and confirmed that F-35s conducting standard fighter training maneuvers Tuesday afternoon in the Gladden and Bagdad military operating airspace resulted in the creation of the contrails. There was no nefarious or inappropriate behavior during the training flight."

See, this is why I sometimes think that UFOs are real.

Because this is a dick.



I mean, look at it! It even has a slightly off-center pee-hole. Which my doctor assures me is normal and nothing a woman should laugh about.

Update: This secretly-recorded footage from the Air Force Academy's commissary was just leaked.


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posted by Ace of Spades at 04:54 PM

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