« Mid-Morning Open Thread | Main | CNN Blares: DNC Contacts FBI After "Hacking" By RUSSIAN Agents!
Later: DNC Retracts Claim, Says It Was a Cybersecurity Test They Mistook for a Real Hacking »
August 24, 2018

The Morning Rant

talking ape.jpg
"Do you know what Trump ought to do? Announce that he'll soon be signing an EO that requires Congress to publish a list of names of every single one of their member who has ever used taxpayer dollars to pay hush money to cover up affairs or settle sexual harassment lawsuits. And then leave for the weekend. Meanwhile, I'll leave you all with this: Steven 'Aerosmith' Tyler wants President Trump to stop using his music at his rallies. He says they, quote, hurt his image, unquote. Really. Now, for those of you who don't know, Tyler is one of the ugliest men in public life. His face peels paint and causes small animals to keel over dead. Years of drug and alcohol abuse have not improved his features. Tyler makes Keith Richards look like Chris Hemsworth. So me and the giraffes are watching one of the Lord of the Rings movies the other night and I'm thinking, how did that repulsive, misshapen troll-man ever manage to father such a beautiful daughter? I think some kind of switcheroo happened at the hospital and somewhere there's a family with a kid who looks like a raisin and the parents are wondering what the hell happened."








"God Bless President Trump"




Winning:

winning.jpg



The Exact Moment When Elizabeth Warren's Political Future Went Up In Smoke:

Do you know how bad this is? About as bad as the 1988 presidential debate when anti-death penalty Dukakis was asked if he would change his mind if his wife was raped and murdered. His mechanical, talking-points response was, to put it mildly, poor, and most pundits believe he lost the election right there. I think Warren's goose is similarly cooked. Oh, she'll be able to get re-elected again and again, but everyone knows her constituents are idiots, after all, so that doesn't count. But the moment she sets foot outside of Massachusetts, kaboom, the Republican attack ads will write themselves.



Is That Illegal? Where's The Crime?

florida man 28.jpg

digg this
posted by OregonMuse at 11:18 AM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
Cat Ass Trophy: "More than likely we will get the even more odious ..."

Ever: "Had there been any reports of Cummings being ill? ..."

Gossamer Penguin: " @8 More than likely we will get the even more od ..."

Vic[/i]: "Well I see the comments are flooded with him croak ..."

Lady in Black - Death to the Man Bun[/i][/b][/u][/s]: "Elizabeth Fugazi Scrubs DNA Test Video From Twitte ..."

The Gipper Lives: "Isn't forging a subpoena a crime? ..."

FenelonSpoke: "Posted by: Molly k. at October 17, 2019 07:47 AM ( ..."

Mr. Peebles: "He was only 68? He packed a whole lot of ugly int ..."

Serious Cat: "36 I just read the Baltimore Sun's article online ..."

J.J. Sefton: "37 What no link for Elija Cummings answering for h ..."

Mr. Scott (Formerly GWS): "One wonders about those Brit "tourists" who were d ..."

Captain Hate: "[i]Ken Cuccinelli: Ending Birthright Citizenship D ..."

Recent Entries
Search


Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64