The Cold Shoulder

"He's More Machine Than Man Now"

Hi, I'm back. Sort of. I'll explain the "sort of" in a bit. But first, let me tell you what happened:

In the early morning hours of Oct. 12th, I woke up with about 6 guys I didn't know standing around in my bedroom. That was my first indication that something was wrong. Apparently, I had had an epileptic seizure that was so violent, I had succeeded in both breaking AND dislocating my right shoulder. No, I had never been diagnosed with epilepsy before, so this is new. Mrs. Muse had called 911 and the 6 guys standing around were the EMTs and they were trying to determine how best to get me out to the ambulance. My body was in such a contorted position (and just to move was agony) that they finally had to carry me out in a bedsheet.

I spent about a week in the hospital where they put my shoulder back into place, and then replaced it with a titanium version. The shoulder, as we all know, is a ball-and-socket joint and as I found out later, I had completely wrekt the ball part of it, so they had to call in a shoulder specialist surgeon from a local sports medicine clinic to do a partial replacement. The X-ray photo makes it look kind of Terminator-ish. My shoulder is frozen pretty badly so I am doing range-of-motion exercises constantly. They say I should get back most of the ROM in 6 months and full ROM in about a year.

So, for me, a 2 degree increase in external rotation is great GAINZZZ, brah...

This is only the start of a rough road. I am exhausted psychologically and the anti-seizure medication I now must take daily saps my physical strength (a known side effect, which they say will subside in about a month).

So, as to why I say I am only "sort of" back, it's going to be awhile before I am back to full blogging strength. I must commend CBD for stepping in on literally no notice and picking up the book and daily rant threads, and I think he's doing a bang-up job with both. I must also ask him to continue subbing for me until I get my strength back, and I don't know when that will be.

Many of you have contacted me with prayers and good wishes. I am sorry if I did not get back to you, I tried to answer as many as I could, but I know I missed some. I blame drugs, of which I have had a royal boatload of in the last month.

If there's one thing I've learned from this is that if you are in for a long hospital stay, you need a friend or family member to act as your advocate, to ride herd on the hospital to make sure you're getting the best possible care. Hospitals are full of caring, compassionate people, but sometimes things just fall through the cracks, and Mrs. Muse had to loudly insist at one point that I wasn't improving and something needed to be done about it DAMN FAST or there would be hell to pay. This caught the attention of a nurse who took her job seriously and who got me into the good rehab (rather than the 'nursing home' rehab where I would've ended up if she had done nothing). I owe my recovery to her (and my wife).

Also, get yourself some voltaren gel, and do so right quickly. You'll thank me later. Voltaren is a topical ointment that contains diclofenac, a nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drug (NSAID), kind of like ibuprofren. It's amazing stuff. I'm convinced it's a gift sent directly to mankind from God to soothe the pains of a sin-ravaged world. It's available OTC in all countries except ours, naturally, where you need a prescription for it.

And now I have to lie down again. That's how low my stamina is. It will improve over time, and hopefully I will be myself again soon.

posted by OregonMuse at 08:59 PM

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