80% Failure Rate Would Get All Of Us Fired. Not The TSA!

The TSA is a pathetic failure

I have Global Entry/Pre-Check, and even from that lofty (hah!) perspective the TSA is a miserable joke.

How bad? According to ABC News, in a series of recent tests in which undercover agents attempted to smuggle guns, knives, bombs, and goodness knows what other contraband materials into the "secure" areas of various airports, the agency failed around 80 percent of the time. Probably bureaucratic flunkies will interpret this as a welcome sign of improvement, as it no doubt is better than the 95 percent rate reported a few years ago. The rest of us are just smiling blandly with our shoes off and our belts draped over our shoulders while our 2-year-olds run away with our half-open laptop cases in the direction of the body-scan machines. Please don't shoot!

This is why it is the duty of every red-blooded American when dealing with TSA personnel who show the slightest sign of surliness to be as rude as possible. Be on your guard at all times. Assume that every single one of these people is a monomaniacal pervert who interviewed for this job with the sole intention of one day being able to pretend that the microscopic piece of lint in the button of the left pocket of your chinos is a switchblade or a miniaturized nuclear warhead. Address agents only as "pal" or "bub" or, in especially ripe cases, "my dude." Say things like "But we just met!" when the guy in the blue uniform informs you with sociopathic detachment that he is going to reach for your thigh.

That's the power these pricks (read: United States Government) have over us. When was the last real TSA success? How about...NEVER!

I drive farther and more frequently because the almost incomprehensible PITA that is flying has made a 10 hour drive extremely pleasant by comparison.

Anyway...anyone have any good stories about sticking it to the man?

posted by CBD at 08:00 PM

| Access Comments