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October 19, 2017

For Megyn Kelly, The World Ends Not With a Bang But With a Cringe


You know, I put a Sally Quinn hex on ol' Megyn -- I crushed three acorns into a powder, set the dust on fire, and I chanted "I diminish thy ratings twenty seven hundred percent, three by three by three" -- and now, seriously, I'm ashamed of calling upon the Dark Spirits, and I fear what retribution will boomerang on to me.

I wish I'd paid attention in Sunday School enough to get the official church guidance on Calling on the Dark Powers. I know they said something about it, but I wasn't really paying attention. I'm not sure if they said never Summon the Dark Powers, or always Summon the Dark Powers.

Never open a door in your heart to Satan?

Or always open a door in your heart to Satan, because #Politeness?

I know it was one or the other. I do remember they were very specific about it, though I forget the specifics.

Anyway, Satan needs to stop hexing Megyn Kelly, because, seriously dude, enough. This is just sad now.


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posted by Ace at 06:16 PM

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