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February 27, 2016

EMT 2/27/16 Eff you too, TSA. [krakatoa]

NYC this past week.

Worst visit ever. Then spent more times in airports than I would have if I'd just driven the 630 miles.

TSA was a dream as usual.

- First, 80% of the people were getting waved by the cancer-box and through the metal detector. Not I.

- Cancer-box director wouldn't pass me through until my feet were absolutely perfectly aligned with the cartoon feet on the floor.

- Luggage x-ray fascist decided the screwdriver I'd packed in my carry-on for the past 2 years with no issue now needed extra scrutiny. Apparently none of the other 4 TSA gestapo lazing around had the qualifications to check my baggage, and this guy keeps passing through other luggage while my carry-on sits.

I finally tell them pointedly that they need to move their asses, I have a flight to catch. He gets all butthurt of course.

Asks me if there's anything sharp in my luggage. I said I'm sure you'll figure it out, it's a toolbag you're rooting through, so you'll have to take your chances.

He makes the same silly rationalization that it's to keep us safe. I explain the latest report that showed in the past year, the TSA has improved all the way from failing to find 97% of contraband in security tests, to failing to find 95%. "Not really a lot to hang your shiny hat on, now is it?" I ask.

"Well we caught this" he says, waving the screwdriver triumphantly.

"Measure it" sez I.

He then proceeds to measure and measure and measure.

"Is 7 inches the cutoff?" he yells to one of his fellows, and they grunt an affirmative.

And then he measures some more.

"Measure all you want, chief. It's not going to magically grow another eighth of an inch."

He finally puts it back in my bag, and we go back our separate ways.

Had my plane not have been boarding, I would have loved to engage him on why an eighth of an inch is the difference between an everyday tool that 99.999% of the people use with no fear of death, and an implement of terror and mass destruction.

I am so done with the charade.

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posted by Open Blogger at 06:00 AM

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