Sponsored Content
The March Continues [Y-not] | Main | Obama's Got a Cutesy Plan to Reconnect with Voters
June 28, 2014

Vampire Movies and Dracula [CBD]

Vampire movies are great!

Not our current crop of bodice-ripping, tween pin-up, pubescent sexual fantasy movies; but real blood and guts and throats ripped out and packs of wolves and terrifying monsters.

Like "Near Dark," a classic from 1987......

The tight, simple story of boy meets girl, with vampires thrown in. Perfect. They didn't try to do too much, used some solid actors, and had a satisfying ending.

But too often a good story morphs into something ridiculous, and that is usually Dracula. Bela Lugosi's 1931 version was pretty damned good if you can tolerate the old movie feel (sorry MPPPP). But they went rapidly down hill from there, and I can't think of a single Dracula movie that was worth a watch, except perhaps for Francis Ford Coppola's "Bram Stoker's Dracula."

And Coppola went full retard on this one. It's overblown, badly acted (Keanu Reeves in particular; what a surprise!), and not particularly interesting --- it's the standard Dracula story. In its defense, it is a beautiful movie, with good scenery and camera work, and the woman who plays Lucy has a topless moment that is quite lovely some good scenes. Some fellow named Hopkins did good work as Van Helsing, and Gary Oldman was odd but good as Dracula, although the rest of the cast is mediocre. Tom Waits plays Renfield though, and that is a fun few minutes.

But the movie falls into the trap that seemingly every single Dracula movie lands in: IT HAS TO BE GRAND AND HAVE A BIG MESSAGE!

I do have a soft spot in my heart for "Van Helsing," a silly but swashbuckling version of Dracula, complete with werewolves and an excellent Igor (played by an unknown named Kevin J. O'Connor)...and other things....




And let us not forget the 'ettes!


Is it too much to hope that the current attempt, due out in October of this year will be in control of itself and that someone will rein in the ambitions of its producer and director?

digg this
posted by Open Blogger at 01:30 PM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
Cicero (@cicero43): "This is a drunk driving ONT? Right down the center ..."

vmom stabby stabby stabby stabby stabamillion : "ONT! ..."

Aetius451AD: "OH FUCKIN GEE! And Brandon had his D**K in his han ..."

Blanco Basura : "Yay, ONT! ..."

Braenyard, _ want nuremberg trials? badger your congressman: "Art Pepper+Eleven ..."

Sandy : "Arf! ..."

Aetius451AD: "Dear Lord, these people are working themselves up ..."

mikeski: "[i]Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by The Li ..."

OrangeEnt: "You could hide a lot of bodies there. ..."

Diogenes: "Evening hordemates! ..."

Nightwatch: "Well then it's time to look NORTH. To the peopl ..."

All Hail Eris, Sans-Culottes (except for the Book Thread): "*dances hornpipe* ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64