Are You Effing Kidding Me With This Right Now?

Um... so I'm just gonna throw this up now.

Jill Kelley, the woman who was (allegedly) threatened by Gen. Petraeus's squeeze Paula Broadwell and who (apparently) started the FBI investigation that led to Petraeus' ouster, who went to the FBI for help after the threats and then (allegedly) had a relationship with the FBI agent in charge of her own case, who (allegedly) sent her shirtless pics of himself, also (apparently, allegedly) had "compromising" communications with Gen. John Allen, the Big Damn Commander of our war effort in Afghanistan.

You can't even make this shit up. It's not a love triangle. It's a love Pentagon.

Allen, a four-star Marine general, succeeded Petraeus as the top American commander in Afghanistan in July 2011.

The senior official, who discussed the matter only on condition of anonymity because it is under investigation, said Panetta believed it was prudent to launch a Pentagon investigation, although the official would not explain the nature of Allen's problematic communications.

The official said 20,000 to 30,000 pages of emails and other documents from Allen's communications with Kelley between 2010 and 2012 are under review. He would not say whether they involved sexual matters or whether they are thought to include unauthorized disclosures of classified information. He said he did not know whether Petraeus is mentioned in the emails.

"Gen. Allen disputes that he has engaged in any wrongdoing in this matter," the official said. He said Allen currently is in Washington.

Twenty to thirty THOUSAND pages? I write for a living and I can tell you that I haven't written twenty to thirty thousand pages in my working career. Cheese-and-crackers, that's a damn lot of love letters. I've never liked anyone enough EVER to spend that much time talking to them. Eesh.

The inescapable rule of affairs just ran into the first rule of spycraft. The rule of affairs is that there is never just one. You cheat, that makes you a cheater. It never just happens once.

And the first rule of spycraft is that "Everyone (or every man) has his blond bombshell in a red Ferrari." Translation: every idiot will let his sex drive drive.

Gah. This is breaking just now, so I'm going to have to mull for a while before I can tell you anything else. Gah. Afghanistan. Gah.

Update: Incriminating photos below:

These two not-very-attractive chuckleheads just got a couple thousand soldiers killed. Allegedly.

posted by Gabriel Malor at 01:46 AM

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