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October 29, 2012

What Did Prince Know About Obama, And When Did He Know It?

I greeted today's news that Bill Clinton would be going to Minnesota to campaign for Preezy Obama today with much joy and enthusiasm.

After all, it meant that by heading that far North, impeached President and alleged rapist Bill Clinton would be nowhere near me, my family or my immediate circle of friends.

But I also took satisfaction in realizing that this news was further validation that the Democratic bastion of Minnesota was firmly in play for Gov. Romney this year. It was the icing on the delicious cake that was the recent poll showing the current Preezy up only 47%-44% over the soon-to-be-45th President of the United States, Mitt Romney, in the land of 10,000 lakes.

Now I don't often think about Minnesota. I know Hibbing, MN is the ancestral home of my favorite song and dance man, Bob Dylan, and also that it is the hometown of my all-time favorite basketball player, Kevin McHale. And I know that an alleged artist formerly known as Prince calls Duluth home. Outside of that, though, I always kind of viewed MN the same way most Americans view Canada: it's the hat we don to keep warm a couple months of the year.

What I didn't know until now though was that Minnesota isn't really a hat. It is, in fact, becoming America's raspberry beret.

To be fair, I have to give credit where credit is due. I didn't foresee Minnesota turning a shade of raspberry red this cycle. But I set my iPod on "shuffle" this morning, and all was quickly revealed.

My only question is "What did Prince know about Obama, and when did he know it?"

Check out the lyrics to the 1985 single "Raspbery Beret" that Prince and the Revolution released. If you do, you will quickly see that this mid-80's bit of pop-fluff wasn't just a hit-track: it was, instead a precursor to the political prognostication power of the Purple Prince of Paisley Park.

Don't believe me. Lemme break it down for ya:

1. Prince's "nom-de-plume" is the first tip-off.

Do you think this name is coincidental? Well you might. But then you might not know that the Preezy used to tell his pals that he was Kenyan/Indonesian royalty. Check out this link at The Blaze for more details, or just be lazy and read my blockquote.

This week, PBS’s “Frontline” published the transcript from a June 27, 2012 interview with Kristen Caldwell, a woman who grew up with President Barack Obama and attended the Punahou School with him in Honolulu, Hawaii. Among other claims, she told PBS that, as a young child, Obama told his classmates that he was Kenyan royalty or an Indonesian prince — fascinating claims that she discussed in great detail.

Hmmmm...I know. You need more evidence than that to believe Prince forsaw the rise and suckage of Obama. That's where the Lyrics come in:

2. Obama's Economy would suck, umm, royally.

See what I did there? I crack me up. Shut up.

Anyway, the song kicks off with the following couplet:

I was working part time in a five-and-dime My boss was mr. mcgee

Under the Preezy's economic "stewardship", Americans can't find full-time work. Check out this article at Red State from earlier this month. Here is the key quote:

The number of persons employed part time for economic reasons (sometimes referred to as involuntary part-time workers) rose from 8.0 million in August to 8.6 million in September. These individuals were working part time because their hours had been cut back or because they were unable to find a full-time job.

In addition, when you can't find work and your funds get tight, where do many people increasingly shop? Five and dimes.

3. Obama thinks small business is racist and evil and they didn't build that.

The next two lines of the song cement this into place:

He told me several times that he didn't like my kind Cause I was a bit 2 leisurely

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and assume that Mr. McGee was probably a pretty fair skinned Irish guy. The singer of the song smears him right off the bat with accusations of racism and perpetuating stereotypes. I can't think of a Presidential administration that reflexively does the same thing, can you?

4. Obama would gut welfare-reform.

One of the 90's big successes was the welfare-reform law that disgraced former President Bill Clinton was forced to sign into law. And yet, what does Prince tell us?

Seems that I was busy doing something close 2 nothing But different than the day before

Well, I'd say that fairly sums up Obama's gutting of the welfare work requirements. Wouldn't you?

5. Obama would Make Al Gore cry by ignoring Global Warming

The lyrics:

She wore a Raspberry beret/ The kind u find in a second hand store/Raspberry beret/And if it was warm she wouldn't wear much more

And in the AGW world, it's always warmer.

Now, personally, I'm ok with making Al Gore cry. AGW is, in my opinion, a hoax and just an effort to impose a massive worldwide wealth redistribution scheme on first world countries.

But the lefties are kinda displeased about it. Including Obama, who, DESPITE BEING A PARTICIPANT IN 2 of the 3 Presidential debates (heh), never brought the matter up.

He waited until he went on MTV to do that.

Nothing says you are committed to a cause then when you mention it before the smallest audience possible and only after you are convinced that's what they want to hear, anyway. If I were a lefty AGW agitator, I wouldn't go out and vote for Obama. Think of the carbon footprint you will leave to cast your vote for a guy who is embarrassed by you anyway.

6. Prince foresaw Obama's focus on the "war on Wymyn" and #Ladyparts.

Built like she was She had the nerve 2 ask me If I planned 2 do her any harm

Self-evident, really.

7. Obama's supporters worry mainly about Hurricane Sandy's adverse effects on the people along the east coast...just joking...they're sweating Obama's reelection prospects.

I said now, overcast days never turned me on But something about the clouds and her mixed

Check out this story on the former MSNBC.com website:

Key passage:

But Democrats are counting on robust turnout — both through early voting and on Nov. 6 — to propel Obama to a second term. While Sandy's projected path is uncertain, its rain and wind could discourage voters in the key swing state of Ohio from voting early, a practice employed by both campaigns to bank votes ahead of Election Day.

"Obviously we want unfettered access to the polls, because we believe that the more people come out, the better we’re going to do,” David Axelrod, a senior adviser to Obama's re-election campaign, said Sunday on CNN. “And so, to the extent that it makes it harder, that’s a source of concern.”

Touching, really. Meanwhile CNN reports that the evil former Governor who beams cancer rays into people's bodies has set up his campaign bus as a rolling Hurricane relief station.

"Governor Romney's concern is the safety and well-being of those in the path of Hurricane Sandy," Romney campaign spokeswoman Andrea Saul said Monday morning.

The campaign is loading supplies into a campaign bus for delivery in Virginia. In Virginia, North Carolina, New Hampshire, and Pennsylvania - all battleground states in the presidential campaign and all expected to be impacted by this storm - Team Romney is collecting supplies at their campaign offices for local relief efforts.

Obama's campaign said is watching the storm and continuing to focus on the election in areas where the storm is not hitting.

But Democrats love people.

8. Obama's campaign would pretty much appeal only to vapid celebrities.

The rain sounds so cool when it hits the barn roof And the horses wonder who u are Thunder drowns out what the lightning sees U feel like a movie star

Movie stars and horses. Try as I might, I could not reach Sarah Jessica Parker for comment.

9. Obama would narcissistically compare voting to him for having sex for the first time.

Listen They say the first time aint the greatest But I tell ya If I had the chance 2 do it all again I wouldn't change a stroke Cause baby Im the most With a girl as fine as she was then

I can't do it. I want to link the Dunham campaign ad. But I just can't put myself through watching it again. When you have less sex-appeal than Steven Crowder in a wig, I can't in good conscience force myself or others to watch you.

All in all, I think this is a pretty compelling case. Paint Minnesota RED in the coming Romney landslide. And if anyone asks you why, you just tell them Prince saw it all coming.

Oh yeah...I'm on twitter (@jackmcoldcuts) if you feel like following along. No pressure. It's not like I'll banhammer you if you don't.

Raspberry Beret - Prince by abelflexes

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posted by Jack M. at 12:59 PM

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