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July 19, 2012

Afternoon Dumb: Batman Is "Reactionary;" Fred Willard Busted For Wackin' It In Porno Theater

First Fred Willard. Willard, from whom I never got a "weird" vibe at all, ever, was arrested for buttering his crotch-lobster.

It was a quick release --

Then how'd he get caught?

-- we're told he was out of police custody a short while later.

As for which movie Fred was watching -- there are 3 flicks in rotation at the theater ... "Follow Me 2," a XXX parody of "The Client List," and "Step Dad No. 2."

Here's how out of current culture I am: They tell me "Follow Me 2" is an "XXX parody of 'The Client List.'"

Okay-- what the f*** is the Client List? It's a bad thing when you are so culturally estranged that you don't even understand the witty allusions made in Porno parodies.

I don't really understand this charge. It's a porno theater, the whole point is for lonely men to go in there and wack it. Now, I don't really get why he didn't wack it at home, and I always suspect in these situations that self pleasure wasn't the goal, if you know what I mean, or the lewd conduct actually suspected; but that's the charge against him. If you don't have anything beyond that, geez, why bother arresting him?

On twitter someone said "it's like arresting someone for drinking at a bar."

Meanwhile, it turns out that The Dark Knight Rises isn't subtly conservative, as I guessed yesterday, but overtly conservative. Christian Toto of Breitbart says it "nukes" Occupy Wall Street.

Two questions:

First, and most importantly: Why does Christian Toto get reviewer passes and I don't? I review movies. Cough up the tickets, Studio Dickwads.

Second, I wonder if the movie is really all that conservative. I know people tend to claim movies as this politics or that one if they like it. For example, conservatives claim the first Iron Man was conservatively-themed, like, pro-military-industrial-complex, despite the fact that the hero walks away from that business entirely due to a moral awakening. (The actual reason for walking away was cutely, cleverly disguised as something without much political import, so that conservatives wouldn't get pissed off, but yet, walk away Tony Stark did.)

So I don't know if this new Batman is truly conservative or rather, like its predecessor, relatively conservative simply by presenting questions without offering the smug pieties of progressivism as "obvious" answers. (As they say about the Simpsons: The Simpsons used to feel sort of conservative not because it actually was conservative but just because it offered skepticism all around, including towards the pieties of the post-modern progressive religion.)

So, to summarize:

The new Batman film seems to skew conservative, or even "reactionary," as a Time reviewer said;

and Fred Willard likes to rub his genitals against plastic seat-backs.

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posted by Ace at 04:12 PM

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