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July 13, 2012

Romney Attack Ad On Obama Paints Him As Soulless Gangster-Government Hypocrite

This isn't the toughest conceivable attack ad about Obama, and I think that's okay. I think you have to build to the toughest possible ads, brick by brick. You don't want to sound like a desperate, lying huckster, as Obama does, after all.

Before you get around to Obama's a bad guy you have undermine whatever's left of the Obama's a good guy meme. I consider this add to be in service of that, undermining that stale meme, which was always untrue.

Like let's say you're trying to convince your clueless, guileless friend his girlfriend his cheating on him. Your early efforts should not be "Your girlfriend's a dirty whore whose seen more strange Dick than a later season of Bewitched."

No, your opening gambit should be, Say, where was Stacy last night between 12am and 2am? Kinda vanished on you there, huh?

Maybe you should ask her about that, huh? Maybe she's like a closet diabetic or something and went into a two hour Secret Coma. You want to make sure she's not having bad health issues, right? So, you know. Look into that.

We wouldn't want anything bad to happen to Stacy. She's so lively. So comfortable around strangers, especially good-looking strangers with motorcycles and prison tattoos and a history of restraining orders against them. Oddly excited in their company. Almost alarmingly so.

And what's with all her unaccountable bruising? Maybe she was mugged. Mugged, in her vagina. Hey, it happens. Bath salts and all.

Or-- Is it possible that she just had a seizure? I mean, a seizure in her vagina? That would explain some things.

Maybe stick a wallet in that. I've heard you're supposed to do that.

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posted by Ace at 08:37 AM

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